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Title: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakdown Post by Sean_C on Sep 7th, 2007, 9:18pm two weeks ago, he was hospitalized in the nut house till yesterday. His wife said the docs didn't suggest any non family members visit at the hospital, so I didn't get to see him till today at his home. We spent the day at his house, and I have to be honest here, he is without question not the person I once knew. He's literally a walking zombie. I asked his wife when he fell asleep at lunch, if they are going to get his meds right, because he ain't right, and she said he's much "better". My question is, if you knew anybody that has had this happen to them, and did they ever come "back" [smiley=huh.gif] Any knowledge you might have would be greatly appreciated. Sean................................. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Lenny on Sep 7th, 2007, 9:52pm check your p.m. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Rosybabe on Sep 7th, 2007, 9:53pm Well, my aunt was at the hospital for a month, the prognosis was not good , the Neurologist said her brain was "shrunk" after all the seizures and the heart attack she had and He didn't think she was ever going to be the woman she was before, she wasn't talking, she was totally unresponsive... Today, I spoke to her on the phone and she recognized me and ask me about my daughter, she started walking and she is regaining her hability to use the bathroom on her own....she is going to be the woman she was before, all with a "shrunk" brain :) Everything is possible, with the right Doctor, the right medication, the right attitude from the patient and all the prayers from family and friends... Miracles happen!! |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by nani on Sep 7th, 2007, 10:01pm It's possible that the meds he needs are doing this to him. My guess is that once he can cut down on the meds, he'll start being his old self again. I'm sorry you're friend is having a hard time, honey. hugs to both of you, nani |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by George_J on Sep 7th, 2007, 10:07pm I suppose it would depend on what he was diagnosed with, and how severe it is--but I'm not able to offer much insight. Sorry. My cousin was schizophrenic. Medication controlled his symptoms pretty well, but he was inpatient and outpatient and inpatient throughout his life. It's a tough road. Best wishes, George |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by chewy on Sep 7th, 2007, 10:15pm My bet is its the meds. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Sean_C on Sep 7th, 2007, 10:18pm He's had my prayers Rosy, and still will. I asked his wife what they're going to do about work, and she said they don't know yet, he can't drive. My first thought was "can't drive?, he can't even THINK!!!!!!!!!" Things are a huge mess over there, his boss is paying him still but you know that generosity is gonna fade away soon, especially if he goes to the house to see him the way he is, he'll know he's not right instantly. I'm really worried |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Rosybabe on Sep 7th, 2007, 10:26pm I think the family should check this out with the Doctor and find out if He is going to start taking less meds, normally that is what they do, the doc starts removing meds one by one until the patient is left with the minimum amount to function. The family should not accept that term "better" they need to look for the way to bring him back to normal not to keep him doped forever just to have him calm down. and yes you are right Sean, generosity fades more if his boss hears what the family says about his "better" condition... |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Ree on Sep 7th, 2007, 10:30pm What caused it Sean... was it chemical or emotional... My cousin had a nervous breakdown when we were kids and he is still not the same, they have him drugged really bad... Yet I know a girl that had an emotional breakdown and she is fine... married and with children too years after. I also knew a woman that was on steroids for an allergy and didn't taper off them and she woke up rocking in a psyche ward... she is better but fragile... God bless your friend... I will pray for him. Sean don't give up on him. And be an advocate. I am sure you know more about meds and drugs than his wife does. Sheesh... life is hard isn't it... love ya buddy Ree |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Jonny on Sep 7th, 2007, 10:35pm on 09/07/07 at 22:26:11, Rosybabe wrote:
Bingo!!! |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Lotus on Sep 8th, 2007, 12:31am Like George said, it depends a lot on the diagnosis your friend has. Acute adult "nervous breakdown" where the person is not him/herself is most likely some form of acute psychosis. Acute psychosis can be caused by a lot of things, from undiagnosed schizophrenia to bipolar to major depression to drug/alcohol induced to even chemical imbalances. Its only the tip of the iceberg. What you wouldnt have seen is the symptoms/events leading up to it. Your friend woud have had a long history of some psychological or biological symptoms for a while before reaching this state. The good news is the acute psychotic symptoms will pass. I am sure your friend will not stay " a zombie " forever. Once the medications start to work properly, he will regain his brain functions as well as his personality. This usually takes a few days to a couple of weeks. The bad news is that then he will have to start on the difficult and long journey of dealing with whatever events/situations that led him to this point, to be fully recover. This will take months if not years. Treating acute psychosis is easy, treating the underlying causes is the hard part. Please be there for your friend. He needs you more than anytime now. Right now, friends and family are those who help him connect to reality and to draw the strength from to recover. Just treat him as normal, be sensitive to his needs but dont walk on eggshells around him and most importantly dont view him or treat him differently just because he has had a "breakdown". Take heart, he will get better, a lot better with the right kind of treatments and support. Sending healing vibes and prayers to you and your friend. Hugs Annette |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by artonio7 on Sep 8th, 2007, 1:55am Sorry about your friend. Will he get better? Hard to say. Do I know anyone who this has happened to and did they ever get back to normal? I had a breakdown about 10 years ago... am I back to normal? That's hard to say. But every day is a step away from the breakdown. After the breakdown I became agoraphobic... and probably still am to some degree but not as intensly as I have been in the past. It takes time and lots of love to recover from a breakdown... and in my case therapy has helped a lot as well. Be patient with your friend... after all he is still your friend, just a little incapacitated for now. Show him tons of love and stick by him and you will be doing both of you a big favour. just my 2 cents, with warm regards, Tony |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by deltadarlin on Sep 8th, 2007, 9:54am BTDT, and yes, things can get a whole lot better. It also depends on *why* he was admitted. Nervous breakdowns don't necessarily mean a *psychotic* break or anything like that. Talk to his wife. AND, if he's been in for two weeks, he should be leveling out some what, depending on what they were giving him. What I would ask about is when they intend to start out-patient therapy. The sooner he starts therapy, the quicker things will get better. I was a bit differnt though, because they day I walked out of the hospital, I flushed every pill they had given me down the commode, cos' being a walking/talking zombie was no fun. 'darlin |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by The mad viking on Sep 8th, 2007, 10:05am My first thought is that his meds causes this change in mood. There will be better days ahead my friend!! Lots of recoveryvibes to you and your friend Svenn |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by john_d on Sep 8th, 2007, 10:25am on 09/07/07 at 21:18:43, Sean_C wrote:
That's not the nervous breakdown- it's the meds. When someone is hospitalized for a mental ailment, they pump them with all kinds of mind-numbing stuff. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Sean_C on Nov 2nd, 2007, 7:56pm Bill killed an old man today, I'm lost for words, I'm lost for emotion, I'm just lost :'( :'( He has schizofrenia, his meds weren't working. Everybody keeps calling me, I just don't know what to tell them so I don't answer. :'( Are his doctors to blame for not committing him? I can honestly say he is a dilutional man. I'm numb :'( His wife called me at 2 o'clock histerical, wanting me to go find him :'( I'm numb :'( http://www.thebostonchannel.com/video/14499305/index.html |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by artonio7 on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:03pm Sean... I'm so very sorry about this. You are in my prayers and your friend Bill as well. Also the poor old lman and his family. What a terrible tragedy. with warm regards, Tony |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:08pm Sean - I'm so very sorry for you and for your friend and his family. What a horrible place to be. Hang in there - lean on us for now until you can catch your breath, at least. Sending prayers and hugs. Carol |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by aloneuk on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:08pm sean, I'm so so sorry i really am, im lost for words ........ :'( hang in there my friend [smiley=hug.gif] [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Ree on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:10pm OMG Sean I was watching that all afternoon... they didnt let the kids out of school in Needham til like 4:30. Did he know those people??? call if you need an ear? ree We live the next town over... |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by barry_sword on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:16pm Sean, so very sorry. I do not know what to say. :'( |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by JenniferD on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:22pm Sean, I am so sorry for you, your friend and his family! What a terrible tragedy for all involved. My heart goes out to you my friend. I'll keep you all in thought and prayer. Do whatever you need to do, but still stick by your friend and continue to love him regardless. He's going to need that, his family will need that and in time you'll realize YOU will need that. all that I have bro. Jen |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by ski2k on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:23pm Horrible tragedy, indeed. I'll be praying for your friend, his family, and for you. It might not help much, but I'd like to give you something to think about. I had a nephew who wad having a horrible time with ADHD. He had REAL ADHD.. not just a little "unfocused", but to the point he couldn't think straight. His parents, my brother and his wife, brought him to the doc for help. The meds they had him on seemed to be working.... for a minute. After being on them for a week, they started causing violent episodes. He backed his mother into the corner of the kitchen with a knife! One night, she woke up to find him standing over her bed (my brother was working), and when she asked him what he was doing, he started to strangle her. After seeing such a huge change, they took him off the meds, and tried something else. He's now doing fine, and doesn't even recall the things he did while on that other med! I guess what I'm trying to say, is don't let this get to you too bad. I know it's hard, and it's a horrible outcome, but you KNOW that wasn't your friend. It was a chemically altered person who just happened to LOOK like your friend. The meds that are prescribed for the brain are sooo touchy! This is (unfortunately) what can happen when they aren't used properly. Sincerely hoping things work out for the best, Adam |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Jonny on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:35pm He is now where he needs to be. Not trying to be mean, bro.....But, if it were my best friend I would say the same thing. Its a fucking shame! |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Sean_C on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:40pm Why did this have to happen? Why didn't they commit him? They'll have no problem committing him now. Why did someone have to die to have this done? His whole family died today, his kids, his wife and children, his father, brothers, and you might as well through me in there too. Even worse, the poor folks of the people this happened too :'( I don't know what to do, who's gonna feed his family? They didn't do anything, but you know the lawyers are gonna take everything, not that thats much. Everybody lost today :'( |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Jonny on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:46pm Some docs may have to answer those questions, bro......lets hope we can get some answers and change shit. Sorry you have to go through this! |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by ski2k on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:50pm You're right. A tragedy like this hurts sooo many of the people around it, even those who aren't directly involved. Just hang in there, bro. We're here to help in any way we can. Our shoulders are always available to cry on. Be strong, Adam |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Linda_Howell on Nov 2nd, 2007, 8:54pm Good Lord Sean, I am so sorry. I tried to put myself in your place and come up with words that someone could say that would make me feel a little better. There aren't any. We love you Sean...we'll be here for you when you want to cuss and vent and get it all out. His wife is going to need someone strong right now to support her and help her through this senseless tragedy for everyone involved. http://bestsmileys.com/comfort/5.gif |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Melissa on Nov 2nd, 2007, 9:42pm I wish I could explain to you why this happened Sean, but I stopped putting myself in other peoples shoes long ago. Not a good place to go. Anyway, I'm sorry this has happened to you, and to your friends loved ones and family. It is a very hurtful time in their lives, and hopefully they will get through this tragedy with lots of help and support. They will get through this. YOU will too hon. Let time sooth you. lots of love... |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Kevin_M on Nov 2nd, 2007, 9:56pm on 11/02/07 at 19:56:31, Sean_C wrote:
States have cut mental care a lot, but yet in degrees it is a very disturbing, dangerous, and tragic sickness with no place to go for proper care. I understand, I'm very sorry for all those involved. Take care yourself Sean buddy. :( |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Charlie on Nov 2nd, 2007, 11:14pm I really don't know what to say. What a tragedy. These things are nobody's fault, especially your friend, it seems. Charlie |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Rosybabe on Nov 2nd, 2007, 11:20pm It is a terrible tragedy for everyone involved. I am so sorry Sean, but your friend was sick and his family did what was in their hands to help him, they are not doctors just his family. I am not so sure about laws but I don't think the family can be blamed for his actions since obviously He is not in his right state of mind. I pray for you and them to find the light out of all this horrible situation. [smiley=hug.gif] Rosy. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Annette on Nov 3rd, 2007, 3:15am I am so very sorry Sean to hear this. You are in my prayers every day. I am also praying for your friend, his family and all involved. This happened because some doctors didnt recognise psychosis when they see it and didnt take the right course of action. They are the ones ultimately responsible. Your friend is a victim, he is unwell, he didnt mean to do it. I personally believe the word " nervous breakdown" is misleading, it reduces the gravity of the condition, like using the word headache to describe cluster pain. The doctors should have known that it was psychosis. My best friend committed suicide last weekend and is still in intensive care now. It was a pyschotic moment also, he decided to kill himself, he could have just as easily decided to kill someone else. He has long term depression and was going through crisis with his family and his girlfriend abandoning him. His doctor didnt acknowledge how desperate he was getting. No one saw it was coming. It was pure luck that I read his message the minute I got it and got suspicious and drove to his place, otherwise he would not still be here. Life is hard, life is bloody difficult. Many people are hurting severely and most are trying to cope on their own. One needs to be compassionate and care enough to have your eyes and ears open at all time. God bless us all. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by sandie99 on Nov 3rd, 2007, 4:55am I just read this. I'm so, so sorry, Sean.... [smiley=hug.gif] What a dreadful tragedy for everyone involved. My thoughts and prayers are with you all...[smiley=hug.gif] (Reading this makes me feel bit more nervous about what lies ahead for Finland soon if nurses around the country will go on strike... :-/) Sanna |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by midwestbeth on Nov 3rd, 2007, 10:03am Sean, This is a terrible tragedy for all involved. Mental illness is a horrible condition and your friend is going to need all the support and help he can get. A few years ago, I had a friend who was suffering. He was the father of my daughters friend. His wife left him. He would go inpatient and then check himself out. He wouldn't take his meds. He would call me either wailing and really low or ranting and really high. Always delutional. It is such a helpless feeling. I was terrified, I didn't know what he was capable of. He was not the kind, gentle and generous person I first met. He commited suicide. I'll always regret not calling him that night. He did call for help after his suicide actions, but it was too late. :'( I am so sorry for you, your friend, his family and the family of the older man killed in this tragedy. The doctors falied everyone for not recognizing the psycosis. [smiley=hug.gif] Beth |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Brewcrew on Nov 3rd, 2007, 10:25am Sean - You have my most sincere feelings of concern on this one. I think perhaps we should go a little easier on the docs involved. Recognizing specific mental illnesses can be tricky at best, damned near impossible at worst. They are human beings too, they make mistakes, and they never claim to "perfect" medicine, they practice it. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by john_d on Nov 3rd, 2007, 10:39am Sorry Sean, that's terrible. Hard times call for time set aside to rest and contemplate. Take her slow, easy and thoughtfully as you tread these traumatic waters. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by nani on Nov 3rd, 2007, 11:29am Oh, honey, I am so sorry. :'( My prayers are going out to all involved. :-* |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by LeLimey on Nov 3rd, 2007, 11:34am Sean I'm so sorry, I just don't know what to say but I'm heartbroken for you all Helen |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by DennisM1045 on Nov 3rd, 2007, 11:35am I'm so sorry Sean. I watched this whole horrible scene unfold on TV too yesterday. You are right, everyone lost something today. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, the victims, their family and Bill's family too. I can't imagine what his wife and those poor kids are going through right now. I said to my wife this morning when I heard about his psych treatment last year that it sounded like he just wasn't right and didn't get the help he needed. Hopefully that'll change now. Unfortunately its too late. :'( -Dennis- |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Shedz on Nov 3rd, 2007, 11:35am Sean, check ya PM's chap ;) Paul. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by deltadarlin on Nov 3rd, 2007, 12:53pm Sean, There is no *fault* that can be ascribed here. Without a lot of detail, I would guess that your friend either (a) had a psychotic break or (b)quit taking his meds. Unfortunately with a lot of schizophrenices, you get a situation where they take meds to get better, they get better, don't think they need their meds and stop taking them and then you're back to square 1. To my knowledge, there is nowhere in this country that one can be forced to take psychotropic meds (there has been mountains of discussions on this very issue, especially where it concerns individual rights). You have my utmost sympathy and I feel so very bad for your friends' wife and children, not to mention the victim and his family. Grief counseling for everybody involved would be a wonderful start. At least now, your friend is safe from himself and the public is safe from your friend. There is a good chance that there won't be a trial once the psychiatric exam for sanity is completed. Most likely, your friend will be committed indefinitely. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Annette on Nov 3rd, 2007, 3:50pm on 11/03/07 at 10:25:50, Brewcrew wrote:
I respectfully disagree here. I believe you say this because you are not a doctor. Doctors are trained to recognise symptoms of illnesses. They are the ones the whole society rely on the make the correct diagnosis and treatment. If they cant do it, we are all doomed. Seans friends symptoms were not vague or obscure. Even Sean as a lay person could see that something was very seriously wrong. He could see that Bill was not himself, was walking like a zombie and could not even think properly! Yet he was discharged home into the care of his wife who has no experience in how to treat mental illnesses and who was obviously not informed how serious schizophrenia can be. He shouldnt be home, he should be in hospital. Even I could recognise that he was psychotic just reading what Sean had written and I was not treating him. Making excuses for those doctors and the health system will only see more tragic cases like this happening. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Brewcrew on Nov 3rd, 2007, 3:59pm You're entitled to disagree. As "not a doctor" I would have to think that diagnosing specific mental illness or combinations thereof would be one of the most difficult things in all of medicine, especially if the patient is adept at acting a certain way. None of us was in the room when he went through his final evaluation before being released. I applaud you for holding yourself and other doctors to a higher standard, but I believe it to be just a tad unrealistic. |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Annette on Nov 3rd, 2007, 4:23pm Thank you Bill :) Actually as a doctor myself I probably "should" be elated that the public may think I can be excusable even in such catastrophic case as I wont have to worry about getting sued and wont have to improve my way of practice. However, I am not saying this to lay blame just for the sake of laying blame, I am saying this to pinpoint who, where and how could changes be implemented to prevent similar tragedies in the future. If the tragedy happened because some doctors could not recognise acute symptoms of mental illnesses then there should be programs in place to train them more specifically in this area. On the other hand if the tragedy happened because of lack on follow up ( ie Seans friend was correctly evaluated at the point of discharge but then deteriorated ) then there should be steps improvised to make sure the patient is followed up properly at home to detect any changes to his symptoms. Or maybe there should be tutorials/meetings held for the carers to teach them about mental illnesses and how to cope and when to seek further help ..... Whatever ! There should be big changes made if we are to learn from this terrible lesson to prevent further occurrence. We cant just sit there and passively say that " oh that is terrible but its nobody fault " and now all we can do is to lock this person up for life in an institution. Can you imagine what its meant for the ill person to be committed for life in an institution? What its meant for his wife? his children? his friends? Mental illnesses are common and much easier to diagnose than say clusterheadaches. The symptoms maybe vague at the beginning but acute psychosis where the person is not able to think, is walking around like a zombie and is not recognised to be himself by family and friends should not be missed. JMHO. PS: I just reread my post and realised that I came across rather harshly here but please understand that I am very involved currently trying to get the right care for my best friend in order to prevent him spiralling down the same path, I am butting my head hard against other doctors/specialists and the whole mental health system right now trying to do just that, therefore I am rather passionate about this issue at present, please bear with me! :P |
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Title: Re: My whole life best friend had a nervous breakd Post by Bethany1 on Nov 3rd, 2007, 9:08pm Sean.. i am so sorry.. i just read this now. I saw it on the news and had no idea. My God.. if there is anything u need from us, you know we are not far from you. Again, I am so sorry. Its just awful. :'( |
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