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Title: Wimminz Talk .... Post by ClusterChuck on Jun 24th, 2007, 5:01am 1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up. 2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine. 4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It! 5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing) 6. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake. 7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. 8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying FUCK YOU! 9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3. Oye vay!!!! No wonder I am gay! Chuck |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Shedz on Jun 24th, 2007, 5:19am ;;DAnd there's the LOOK, every man knows it!! But women just don't understand that we poor men are NOT BLOODY MIND READERS!!!!!! [smiley=twocents.gif] ;;D |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by michael on Jun 24th, 2007, 5:24am Dont be too hard on them. The poor things dont even know they are doing it. Mike |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Shedz on Jun 24th, 2007, 5:26am [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] You do realise that we gonna pay for this later!!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by JenniferD on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:14am Good morning Gentlemen Would you please define a word MEN use all the time, because I for one fail to understand....being the simple minded woman and all ;) The word is "everything" I'll set the stage: husband goes to work, comes home from work and sits in chair. He eats dinner, reads the paper, watches tv, showers and goes to bed. Wife goes to work, goes to the grocery store, stops at the post office, goes to the bank because HE needs cash, comes home, unloads groceries, prepares dinner, fixes husband's plate and brings it to him because he is in his chair in front of the tv, gets him seconds if he wants more, clears the dishes, puts the food away, kids clean the kitchen, wife continues with laundry, pays the bills, MAYBE has some time to sit down to watch tv (this is the definition of spending time together), turns down the bed, picks up the laundry off the bathroom floor, sets the alarm for husband, wakes at 2 am to make sure he is gets up, makes his lunch at 3 in the morning then begins the same routine as the day before. The ONE THING that may not have gotten done and he will LOUDLY PROCLAIM AFTER A HEAVY SIGH: "I'll do it! I have to do EVERYTHING around here if anything needs to get done!!!" Please Gentlemen, enlighten me, I beg you. Define "everything" ;;D Tired Jen |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by barry_sword on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:38am ::) Barry [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Shedz on Jun 24th, 2007, 8:46am Women have SO MANY faults, men have only two......... Everything we say and everything we do........................ Or so my darling Debbie says.................. ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D Paul. |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by michael on Jun 24th, 2007, 9:08am Jennifer, the word `everything' in the context you describe is not the normal definition of everything, but mans attempt at female logic! :) |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by jimmers on Jun 24th, 2007, 9:30am Wife goes to work, goes to the grocery store, stops at the post office, goes to the bank because HE needs cash, comes home, unloads groceries, prepares dinner, fixes husband's plate and brings it to him because he is in his chair in front of the tv, gets him seconds if he wants more, clears the dishes, puts the food away, kids clean the kitchen, wife continues with laundry, pays the bills, MAYBE has some time to sit down to watch tv (this is the definition of spending time together), turns down the bed, picks up the laundry off the bathroom floor, sets the alarm for husband, wakes at 2 am to make sure he is gets up, makes his lunch at 3 in the morning then begins the same routine as the day before. Does this woman have any sisters? ;;D She does have one flaw though, Where is his beer? [smiley=laugh.gif] Jimmers |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Brewcrew on Jun 24th, 2007, 9:33am on 06/24/07 at 08:14:53, JenniferD wrote:
Jen, I would not dream of uttering such a statement. Pat knows, and I know, that this would be the first step on the path to sleeping in the shed. Or the back seat of my car. She's the one who does "everything" around here. I help out where I can - folding and putting away laundry, cooking once in awhile, a few mechanical odds and ends, etc. I adore her for it, and for some odd reason she adores me for bringing home the bacon. But we kinda like it that way. Bill |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by JenniferD on Jun 24th, 2007, 9:54am on 06/24/07 at 09:30:47, jimmers wrote:
She bought that at the grocery store, served it with his dinner and when she got up to clear the dishes, she heard, "as long as you're up..... " |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by kimmiedawn81 on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:13am on 06/24/07 at 08:14:53, JenniferD wrote:
Oh, I would type all that out, print it and the next time he says, "I have to do EVERYTHING around here." Hand him the piece of paper! |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by DennisM1045 on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:24am Thanks for the translation Chuck. This nicely sums up what I've learned over 26 years of marriage. The only thing you left out was about women needing to get in the last word. This was nicely demonstrated by Jen hijacking your thread ;;D -Dennis- |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by ivanov on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:25am Men are just different animals - And here is the beer- Dan :D http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSZYHl0EfQc |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by midwestbeth on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:48am on 06/24/07 at 10:24:23, DennisM1045 wrote:
ROFLMAO [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Rosybabe on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:51am on 06/24/07 at 10:24:23, DennisM1045 wrote:
We (women) can hijack anything we want, who is going to tell us no? |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by JenniferD on Jun 24th, 2007, 10:57am here's a last word for ya Dennis: Fine. (see # 1) ::) |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Linda_Howell on Jun 24th, 2007, 11:55am -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Dont be too hard on them. The poor things dont even know they are doing it. Mike ROTMFFLMAO !!!!! whatever. |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by DennisM1045 on Jun 24th, 2007, 11:58am Shutting up now... I'm off to the grocery store... (see what 26 years of training will do for ya) [smiley=hammer.gif] -Dennis- |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by JenniferD on Jun 24th, 2007, 12:09pm on 06/24/07 at 11:58:47, DennisM1045 wrote:
As long as you're up.......... [smiley=beer.gif] ;;D |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by tanner on Jun 24th, 2007, 12:26pm Jen I will second Brews response!!! Since on July the 10th while many of you are RichCon bound or already there My Linda and I will hit the 36 blissful years mark What Brew said!!! Thats my story and I am stickin to it ;;D.....Tim |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Brewcrew on Jun 24th, 2007, 12:49pm on 06/24/07 at 12:26:27, tanner wrote:
Tim - You are a |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by minnie on Jun 24th, 2007, 2:49pm ThanksChuck and fellow say whatever !!! I don't have to get the last word in..... What? are you gonna try to get the last word in.... Fine........Whatever I still luvs ya :-* ;;D Modified cuz I'm a woman and I can ;;D |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by minnie on Jun 24th, 2007, 3:50pm >> WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST >> >> She's sitting at the table with her >> gourmet coffee. >> Her son is on the cover of the >> Wheaties box. >> Her daughter is on the cover of >> Business Week. >> Her boyfriend is on the cover of >> Playgirl. >> And her husband is on the back of >> the milk carton. � > ---------------------------------------------------------------- >> WOMEN'S REVENGE >> "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, >> after folding items the woman wished to purchase. >> As she fumbled for her wallet, I >> noticed a remote control for a television set in her >> purse. >> "So, do you always carry your TV >> remote?" I asked. >> "No," she replied, "but my husband >> refused to come shopping with me, and I figured this >> was the most evil thing I could do to him legally." > ---------------------------------------------------------------- >> WIFE VS. HUSBAND >> >> A couple drove down a country road >> for several miles, not saying a word. >> An earlier discussion had led to an >> argument and >> neither of them wanted to concede >> their position . >> As they passed a barnyard of mules, >> goats, and pigs, >> the husband asked sarcastically, >> "Relatives of yours?" >> "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws." >> ____________________________________________ >> CREATION >> >> A man said to his wife one day, "I >> don't know how you can be >> so stupid and so beautiful all at >> the same time. >> "The wife responded, "Allow me to >> explain. >> God made me beautiful so you would >> be attracted to me; >> God made me stupid so I would be >> attracted to you! > ---------------------------------------------------------------- >> WHO DOES WHAT >> A man and his wife were having an >> argument about who >> should brew the coffee each morning. >> >> The wife said, "You should do it >> because you get up first, >> and then we don't have to wait as >> long to get our coffee. >> The husband said, "You are in charge >> of cooking around here and >> you should do it, because that is >> your job, and I can just wait for my coffee." >> Wife replies, "No, you should do it, >> and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should >> do the coffee." >> Husband replies, "I can't believe >> that, show me." >> So she fetched the Bible, and opened >> the New Testament and showed him at the top of >> several pages, that it indeed says .......... >> "HEBREWS" >> >> �____________________ >> The Silent Treatment >> A man and his wife were having some >> problems at home >> and were giving each other the >> silent treatment. >> Suddenly, the man realized that the >> next day, he would need his wife to wake him >> at 5:00 AM for an early morning >> business flight. >> Not wanting to be the first to break >> the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of >> paper, >> "Please wake me at 5:00 AM." He left >> it where he knew she would find it. >> The next morning, the man woke up, >> only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed >> his flight Furious, he was about to go and see why >> his wife hadn't wakened him, >> when he noticed a piece of paper by >> the bed. >> The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake >> up." >> Men are not equipped for these kinds >> of contests. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Man driving down road. Woman driving up same road. They pass each other. The woman yells out the window, PIG! Man yells out window, B I T C H! Man rounds next curve. Crashes into a HUGE PIG in middle of road and dies. Thought For the Day: If only men would listen ::) |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by Jonny on Jun 24th, 2007, 5:00pm on 06/24/07 at 05:01:47, ClusterChuck wrote:
Your gay? :o |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by ClusterChuck on Jun 24th, 2007, 6:29pm on 06/24/07 at 17:00:28, Jonny wrote:
Sssssshhhhhhh !!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't tell anyone! Chuck |
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Title: Re: Wimminz Talk .... Post by TomM on Jun 25th, 2007, 2:51pm on 06/24/07 at 12:49:33, Brewcrew wrote:
Some day...my second wife will appreciate my first wife's training. ;;D It has taken me 21+ years for wife #1 [yes, we are still married...no #2 unless she reads this thread] to understand that cursing and yelling while doing yardwork or household repairs is NOT directed to or at her. Men vent and express thier anger IMMEDIATELY. It's the situation and not the person, unless she has run over the cat, that pisses us off. TomM |
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