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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> Rules of the Road: Boston
        
(Message started by: chewy on Jun 18^th, 2007, 7:00am)

Title: Rules of the Road: Boston
Post by chewy on Jun 18^th, 2007, 7:00am

1. Turn signals will give away your next move. A confident driver avoids using them.

2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by somebody else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less of a chance you have of getting hit.

4. Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

5. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with plates from red states. With no insurance, the other operator has nothing to lose.

6. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous,and invigoating foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

7. Never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. It's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

8. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable during rush hour.

9. Just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a Yankee driver flashing his high beams behind you doesn't think he can go faster in your spot.

10. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. This is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

11. It is traditional to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

12. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important to exit your vehicle through the windshield right away.
Wearing your seat belt will only impede your high-velocity escape from danger.

13."Flipping the bird" is considered a polite salute.
This gesture should always be returned.

14. Exhibiting road rage is perfectly acceptable when directed toward any vehicle bearing a New York Yankees sticker.