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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> Second thoughts
        
(Message started by: cynjeep89 on Jun 4^th, 2007, 9:56am)

Title: Second thoughts
Post by cynjeep89 on Jun 4^th, 2007, 9:56am

While reading my work e-mails, I came across the e-mail below that I received from a co-worker who is Muslim.

We get along very well, have had no problems and never discussed the topics of religion, politics, etc.....all conversations have strictly been work related.

We really only see each other at our monthly department meetings since we are able to work from home the majority of the time.

I am curious at to what some of your reactions would be if you had received this e-mail.

Here is the poem she sent to me:

What do you see
when you look at me
Do you see someone limited,
or someone free
<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

All some people can do is just look and stare
Simply because they can't see my hair

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

Others think I am controlled and uneducated
They think that I am limited and un-liberated

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

They are so thankful that they are not me
Because they would like to remain 'free'

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn't my choice

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the one up above

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

See I have declined from being a guy's toy
Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren't busy looking at my behind

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

Hooded girls are the ones really helping the muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were me

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

We are the ones that are free and pure
We're free of STD's that have no cure

<=><=><=><=><=><=><=><=>

So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying 'baby its all good' ;)

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by taraann on Jun 4^th, 2007, 10:17am

Wow I truly never ever thought of it that way.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by tanner on Jun 4^th, 2007, 10:39am

on 06/04/07 at 09:56:11, cynjeep89 wrote:

The above strikes me as true and sad :'(

Well free isn't exactly the word I would've used
Describing women who are cheated on and abused

They think that I do not have opinions or voice
They think that being hooded isn't my choice

They think that the hood makes me look caged
That my husband or dad are totally outraged

All they can do is look at me in fear
And in my eye there is a tear

Not because I have been stared at or made fun of
But because people are ignoring the one up above

On the day of judgment they will be the fools
Because they were too ashamed to play by their own rules

Maybe the guys won't think I am a cutie
But at least I am filled with more inner beauty

See I have declined from being a guy's toy
Because I won't let myself be controlled by a boy

Real men are able to appreciate my mind
And aren't busy looking at my behind

Hooded girls are the ones really helping the muslim cause
The role that we play definitely deserves applause

I will be recognized because I am smart and bright
And because some people are inspired by my sight

The smart ones are attracted by my tranquility
In the back of their mind they wish they were me

We have the strength to do what we think is right
Even if it means putting up a life long fight

You see we are not controlled by a mini skirt and tight shirt
We are given only respect, and never treated like dirt

So you see, we are the ones that are free and liberated
We are not the ones that are sexually terrorized and violated

We are the ones that are free and pure
We're free of STD's that have no cure

So when people ask you how you feel about the hood
Just sum it up by saying 'baby its all good'

All the rest of this IMHO is self serving, vain, an attack on western women, men, all other religions and full of untruths.

It may be that your friend believes that living in an entirely male dominated society is not abuse or is somehow superior thinking, but I can not see it that way.

I don't know....pretty heavy stuff for a Mon. morn :-/.

I am not going to add any of my politics...cuz who cares what I think!!!

It is only what I do and how I treat others that matters :)

Have a great day Lil Sis.........Hugz, Tim

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by cynjeep89 on Jun 4^th, 2007, 10:59am

Received a second e-mail from my co-worker stating that she had sent the mail to me in error. She has a friend with the same last name as mine and meant to send it to her, not me.

Helps to clear things and I usually think, "to each his own" but it is very interesting to know how others think.

Tim, it was indeed pretty heavy reading for a Monday morning.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by seasonalboomer on Jun 4^th, 2007, 11:56am

on 06/04/07 at 10:59:32, cynjeep89 wrote:

I got an errant e-mail last week from a client who mistakenly addressed me on correspondence between her and her divorce attorney. Felt awful getting it but had to tell her so she could make sure her attorney got it. Embarrasing.

Always review who is on the address line of an em-ail!!

Scott

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by john_d on Jun 4^th, 2007, 12:22pm

on 06/04/07 at 09:56:11, cynjeep89 wrote:

I am curious at to what some of your reactions would be if you had received this e-mail.

I googled to confirm it's not written by her so I will say what I really think...that's some really bad poetry, yuck

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by Mosaicwench on Jun 4^th, 2007, 1:32pm

It's bad poetry and it's quite simply, stupid - IMHO.

Most muslim women DON'T have a choice as to whether to cover or not. Just ask the Morality Police in Saudi Arabia or the old Taliban.

Free is making your OWN choice - good or bad.

I have never understood why Feminists in the western world have not taken up the cause of women in the Middle East.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by Langa on Jun 4^th, 2007, 1:52pm

Though she sent the email by error, the poem is contradictory...first she says muslim women are cheated on and abused, then they're respected. Oh well...

Langa

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by tanner on Jun 4^th, 2007, 2:21pm

on 06/04/07 at 13:52:35, Langa wrote:

Though she sent the email by error, the poem is contradictory...first she says muslim women are cheated on and abused, then they're respected. Oh well...

Langa

I think if you re-read it what the author is trying to say is that all other (and I read western women) are cheated on and abused which is very unfortunatly true almost the world over, but crap by any color still smells like shite ;)

Hugz....Tim

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by BarbaraD on Jun 4^th, 2007, 2:59pm

Well, if you go back in OUR history (and you don't have to go back that far) women were "chattle" of our menfolks and since we didn't know any better we "accepted" our lot in life and were a pretty happy bunch (some more than others). Now that we've been "liberated" I don't know that we're any happier - just different.

It kinda depends on what you're used to and how you was brought up. Nothin' is really wrong unless YOU believe it is. Frankly, being a pampered house pet ain't all that bad when you think about it...... awww for the good old days....

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by Turts on Jun 4^th, 2007, 4:35pm

not that i have ever cheated on a woman, however i guess the temptation to cheat would be significantly lower when you have 4 wifes to chose from ;;D

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by Charlie on Jun 4^th, 2007, 6:15pm

Ask her who really wrote the thing.

Charlie

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by kcopelin on Jun 4^th, 2007, 7:02pm

I believe it comes down to having the freedom to choose. Some people, if given the choice, would break free of constraints-because they see them as restrictive. Others, who see veils and strict constraints as protection, may not be as eager to discard the old.

I say that as a social anthropologist and sociologist.

As a woman, I am horrified at the lack of choice my sisters have in many societies. My grandmother fought for my right to vote. My mom fought for my right to be educated, even in "non-traditional" jobs. I fight for my daughters right to choose her life path based on her passion and skills-not on stereotypes.

I would like to know if the poem was written by a man.

kathy

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by Brewcrew on Jun 4^th, 2007, 7:42pm

I flew around the Middle East for two weeks back in 1991, and nothing in my experience was more revealing than my flight from Dhahran to Dubai.

As soon as the "Fasten Seat Belts" sign went off, every single Saudi woman on the L-1011 got up and formed a line to go to the restroom. One by one they returned to their seats WITHOUT their burkas on. They were wearing designer clothing, dripping in gold and other precious jewelry, hair and makeup done to the nines. These were some very beautiful women.

All they were waiting for was to get out of Saudi Arabia and into a more modern, westernized environment so they could come out of their shells (with the full approval of their husbands). The height of hypocrisy, IMHO.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by cynjeep89 on Jun 4^th, 2007, 8:08pm

Funny that you mentioned the "other clothing", Bill.

The co-worker who sent the e-mail to me always wears snug fitting jeans under her burka, changes her shoes from black flats to stylish shoes once she arrives at work and is on her cell phone constantly.

As I said before, our conversations are strictly work related and thankfully we have gotten along so far but I have seen her challenge other co-workers at the drop of a hat.

She has only been with our department about 5 months so we'll have to see what happens.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by thebbz on Jun 4^th, 2007, 8:39pm

Its a good thing I am married, I would blow her burka off :-*
fry em all, all that would kill us.
Pray for her.
jb

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by Charlotte on Jun 5^th, 2007, 8:59am

It is very prejudiced.

I don't know what a burka is, but in our country, female muslims are not the only ones who wear or carry articles with religious significance.

As for cheating, cheaters cheat and it has nothing to do with their religion.

I don't think she likes the person she thought she was sending the message to. I am sorry she accidentally sent it to you.

Charlotte

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by Brewcrew on Jun 5^th, 2007, 10:30am

A burka is a garment worn by muslim women that covers them head to toe. Some have a screen built in through which they view the outside world when they are in public.

Muslim men don't want others even looking at their wives. Or so they say.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by sldrswyfe on Jun 5^th, 2007, 10:45am

I thought the same thing Langa thought...she contradicted herself.

Hard to say, I don't know her, how old she is, her character. It's a bit frightening though. It must've been very uncomfortable to receive...hopefully she'll be careful to check before she clicks "send" in the future.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on Jun 5^th, 2007, 2:57pm

Isn't the covering of the body directly from the religion? I thought it was the religion that banned showing skin....and, of course, the government is a theocracy.

It is pretty ironic that these people that believe in their religion so faithfully only adhere to the religious laws only when needed, but when not needed they disregard the religious mandates.

Reminds me of some other religions ::)

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by KingOfPain on Jun 5^th, 2007, 7:50pm

on 06/04/07 at 09:56:11, cynjeep89 wrote:

I am curious at to what some of your reactions would be if you had received this e-mail.

My 2 cents worth since you asked...

I would first print out the original and all other messages on the subject from this person then... secondly submit the incident and messages to your HR Dept.
IMHO the poem has racial/religious statements not really appropriate in the workplace given the subject matter

You never know how something like this could turn out...better safe than sorry.

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by deltadarlin on Jun 5^th, 2007, 8:28pm

Does your co-worker wear a hijaab and/or a niqaab (when only the eyes are only showing) and an abaya or a jilbab. If she were wearing an abaya or a jilbab, you wouldn't be able to tell what she has on because both are long overdresses (also worn as dresses) that are worn over the clothing. A burqa is traditionally worn by Afghani women - you can't even see the eyes in some cases. Other ethnicities that practice Islam use different variations of the burqa, but may have different terminologies. Just curious.

Islam is not the only religion that believes that women should be covered up. The Pentecostals down here wear mainly ankle length skirts and 3/4 length sleeves. All the Mennonite women that live here wear long dresses and wear their hair up and covered.

'darlin

Title: Re: Second thoughts
Post by cynjeep89 on Jun 5^th, 2007, 8:55pm

I am not sure what the proper name would be for the garments that my co-worker wears. Her forehead, hair and neck are totally covered, her face fully exposed and the "dress" (for lack of a better word) is about ankle length.

As far as reporting this to the Human Resources Department....if the e-mail had actually been meant for me instead of sent to me by mistake, I probably would have asked Sharmaine why she sent it to me. I personally find that jumping to conclusions too quickly usually leads to problems that can be avoided and don't like bringing a third party into the mix if the problem can be solved between the two people involved.

Thanks to all for your opinions and views....very interesting reading and it is appreciated.