Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> I can't believe it.
        
(Message started by: JeffB on Apr 30^th, 2007, 11:11pm)

Title: I can't believe it.
Post by JeffB on Apr 30^th, 2007, 11:11pm

I'm putting together my first resume in years.

I ran a staffing company....what the fuck do I say????

Here's my first line:

I get up, have coffee, do the little woman, get kinda ( but not all the way) stoned, and go to work and explain why 2 or 3 shit heads didn't make it to work, and then try and sell the client more people. Hmmmm.

I should have grown up to be a firetruck like my cousin Larry! ;)

;;D

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by alienspacebabe on Apr 30^th, 2007, 11:49pm

Jeff B......
37 Mockingbird Lane
Nowhere, Nohow 66666
555-BULLSHIT

Objective:
To work for a company with desks comfortable enough to sleep on, with 17 weeks of vacation, nude-women artwork, and a boss who is never there.

Education:
Larry, cousin. Double major: Being a firetruck; how to properly inhale. Minor: The art of bullshitting.

Experience:
Sexcapades-R-Us - Bouncer - Responsible for making boobies bounce properly.
NASA - Flight Instructor - (Ir)responsible employee in product development & testing (bed pods) department
WomanPower - Manager - Found jobs for the unemployable, then refused calls from those employers because they were complaining.
Call-to-See - Customer Service - twice received "best use of fuck you" award!

Other interests:
The internet (is for porn)
Porn
Potato Chips
oooh... munchies!
did I mention porn?

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by BB on May 1^st, 2007, 12:51am

PMSL laughing ! That was just PERFECT Liz ...

[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Annette

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by ClusterChuck on May 1^st, 2007, 12:58am

on 04/30/07 at 23:49:07, alienspacebabe wrote:

Hmmm this seems to be a HUGE improvement on some of the idiots I have hired, in the past.

Let me be the first to offer you a Job, Jeff .. Would $1.6 mil/year be enough to get you started?

Chuck

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by LeLimey on May 1^st, 2007, 4:45am

I can't believe I can't believe that you can't believe YOU can't believe it! Sheesh!

It's simple Jeff, to reach your TRUE potential all you need to do is ask "Would you like fries with that?" :P

After all - you haven't mastered numbers yet have you?!

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by BB on May 1^st, 2007, 5:02am

on 05/01/07 at 04:45:49, LeLimey wrote:

After all - you haven't mastered numbers yet have you?!

Oh yes he has Helen, he can count to 50 , apparently 8)

Annette

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by LeLimey on May 1^st, 2007, 7:09am

Yes Annette but he didn't tell you that's only if his mummy is whispering them in his ear so he can repeat them ;;D

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by jimmers on May 1^st, 2007, 8:12am

Dont forget to mention that you were a test dummy for "Fluffer" girls. ;;D

Jimmers

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by BB on May 1^st, 2007, 11:23am

on 05/01/07 at 07:09:05, LeLimey wrote:

Yes Annette but he didn't tell you that's only if his mummy is whispering them in his ear so he can repeat them ;;D

It wasnt his mother Helen, it was his daughter who taught him how to count to 50 , remember?

;;D

Annette

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by JeffB on May 1^st, 2007, 11:27am

Thanks guys! ;;D

Title: Re: I can't believe it.
Post by JeffB on May 1^st, 2007, 11:29am

on 04/30/07 at 23:49:07, alienspacebabe wrote:

I tried to be an Astronaut, but I got my name wrong on the application. :-/