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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> Poor Old Mildred
        
(Message started by: chewy on Apr 26^th, 2007, 5:33pm)

Title: Poor Old Mildred
Post by chewy on Apr 26^th, 2007, 5:33pm

Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death.

Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she
took out Earl's old army pistol and made the decision to
shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place.

Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a
vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her
doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location.

Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is
just below your left breast Why do you ask?"

Mildred hung-up without answering. Later that night
Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot
wound to her knee.

Title: Re: Poor Old Mildred
Post by artonio7 on Apr 26^th, 2007, 7:34pm

...ain't that a kick in the nuts?..... I mean ankles. ;;D

Title: Re: Poor Old Mildred
Post by JeffB on Apr 26^th, 2007, 9:42pm

I bet I could rub her feet and boobs at the same time. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Poor Old Mildred
Post by DonnaHar on Apr 26^th, 2007, 9:49pm

Wow, Mildred! If it were me, the wound would be in the center of my left rib cage.

Title: Re: Poor Old Mildred
Post by nani on Apr 26^th, 2007, 11:47pm

on 04/26/07 at 21:49:34, DonnaHar wrote:

Wow, Mildred! If it were me, the wound would be in the center of my left rib cage.

About 3" left of my navel here. :P

Title: Re: Poor Old Mildred
Post by ClusterChuck on Apr 27^th, 2007, 3:41am

on 04/26/07 at 17:33:10, chewy wrote:

Mildred, 93,

Mildred is actually Chewy's newest blow up doll .. He kept trying to get more air in her, to raise her bewbies up above her naval .. It never happened ...

Chuck

Title: Re: Poor Old Mildred
Post by Mosaicwench on Apr 27^th, 2007, 8:03am

Just tuck them in your waistband and keep moving!

Title: Re: Poor Old Mildred
Post by Maffumatt on Apr 27^th, 2007, 8:57am

tie them in a bow...more feminine that way......