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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> its sht (but not now)
        
(Message started by: Yorky on Apr 4^th, 2007, 12:30am)

Title: its sht (but not now)
Post by Yorky on Apr 4^th, 2007, 12:30am

getting slammed all night (so what,diggin deap beast,because i aint budging)

but at teatime was getting mullered by a 10.

too busy rolling round floor holding head, cussing..whincing...geurning into a pillow.

to notice tracy and the kids had come home and wre all

witnessing this...BASTARD....i swore blind i would not let them see me like this :'( .

Title: Re: its shit
Post by georgej on Apr 4^th, 2007, 1:36am

I hate what it does to us.

I've always gone to extreme lengths to avoid allowing anyone in my family to see me take a hit. Elizabeth has--unavoidably--seen it. Ellen never has.

The beast is a hard companion. It's not enough that it takes our nights, haunts our days, and kills our sleep. It takes our dignity as well, and frightens the ones we love.

I can't give you any wisdom for something that has no reason and makes no sense. There should be a purpose for what we go through--a balance against which our transgressions are weighed, perhaps. But there is not. At least not that I can discover. It just is.

All I can say is that I'm sorry for what your wife and children had to see, and sorry for what you're passing through right now. And that I understand.

Best wishes,

George

Title: Re: its shit
Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on Apr 4^th, 2007, 2:28am

Argh, man, I am sorry your family had to see it. I am sure it hurt them just as much as it hurt you.

Its your family. Remember they love you.

Title: its shit
Post by Yorky on Apr 4^th, 2007, 7:17am

http://s93.photobucket.com/albums/l62/yorky_2006/?action=view&current=Casey.flv

a message from casey to you lot.

you dont deserve her ;;D

Title: Re: its sht (but not now)
Post by Redd on Apr 4^th, 2007, 8:21am

I used to try to hide hits from my kids. But in a small apartment like this is isn't really possible most of the time.

It breaks my heart alot when I just have a sore neck and I'm rubbing it, or my eyes itch from allergies, and Dyl will ask me, in that soft concerned way of his, if I'm shadowing.

Sometimes I AM shadowing, and I can feel the energy in the home sort of "go on hold". They brace for the impact that may or may not come.

On one hand I feel like I'm stealing something away from them. Youth or innocence, I can't put my finger on it. But on the other, they are deeply compassionate to everyone they come into contact with, so there is some positive lesson they have learned from this hell.

Title: Re: its sht (but not now)
Post by Brewcrew on Apr 4^th, 2007, 8:30am

on 04/04/07 at 08:21:34, Redd wrote:

But on the other, they are deeply compassionate to everyone they come into contact with, so there is some positive lesson they have learned from this hell.

See? Ya done good, Pegg.

Life without pain does not exist, so if we can teach our kids to be caring and compassionate, we've taught them to be the best they can be.

It's part of the "We're all in this shithole together" thing, and it's the best possible outcome.

You're a good mom.

Title: Re: its sht (but not now)
Post by Guiseppi on Apr 4^th, 2007, 10:39am

I hated my kids seeing me but as they got older, (grown and gone now)..they became pretty damned good supporters. They're a lot more aware then we sometimes give them credit for. Might want to give them some jobs...grabbing the frozen peas, answering the phone....as they get older fetching and firing off the 02....gives them a feeling of some control. (I still despised them seeing me taking a hit!!!!) Love ya child, sorry to hear you're in the thick of it. :'(

Guiseppi

Title: Re: its sht (but not now)
Post by E-Double on Apr 4^th, 2007, 12:09pm

My wife has seen numerous attacks as have coworkers and friends.
It sucks and at times embarassing but CHit happens.

When my daughter was born there were many nights that I would rock in the basement in agony while holding her.
the irony is this..........The only thing that would soothe me was my oxygen and the added bonus of having an attack was the white noise from the tank soothing my newborn.

A part of life!
What counts is what you do in between the attacks.

Best,

E

Title: Re: its sht (but not now)
Post by Yorky on Apr 4^th, 2007, 9:19pm

well its back to being shit. at least their all in bed now.

gone past being tired.......i would love to have a beer.

bored sensless...

any one fancy a game of i spy.(with my aching eye, something that begins with.......f,t .