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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
        
(Message started by: Jayne on Jan 26^th, 2007, 2:00pm)

Title: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Jayne on Jan 26^th, 2007, 2:00pm

Last week I was in bed. I had taken all my meds and was ready to settle to sleep. After a while I was just about to drop to sleep when my eyes SHOT open.
Pure fear enveloped me.

I could hear someone in my room in the dark wheezing.
I couldn't see anyone, but I could hear him. "He must be wheezing due to the effort it took to break in" I thought.
I knew he was just standing there looking down at my bed, contemplating how he was to defile me.

I was petrified.....in a nano-second my mind was remembereing any self defense class I have ever taken.
"Balls, throat, ballls" was my mantra.

I needed to know where he was in my room...so I stopped breathing to hear better.......

He stopped wheezing........CLEVER BASTARD...he knows when I stop breathing....so he stops breathing.....Geez...just how close is he.....

I was just about to make a run for it...when..reality hit me.

It was me I could hear....I had a whistling booger.

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Racer1_NC on Jan 26^th, 2007, 2:25pm

Jayne, this is Jimi. Your story is cracking us up up here in Davenport. Everyone is wanting to see you again. You gonna have to make this happen. See you in a couple of weeks.

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by echo on Jan 26^th, 2007, 2:40pm

Awesome!!!!!

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Gator on Jan 26^th, 2007, 2:48pm

ROFLMAO!!! You're in a class by yourself, Jayne.

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by taraann on Jan 26^th, 2007, 2:58pm

OMFG toooooooooooooooo Funny!!!!!!!!!!!!

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Chillrmn1 on Jan 26^th, 2007, 5:48pm

LOL! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by E-Double on Jan 26^th, 2007, 7:21pm

another classic [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by andrewjb on Jan 26^th, 2007, 7:28pm

::). this had me looking for my cricket bat. [smiley=laugh.gif]. andrew.

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by jimmers on Jan 26^th, 2007, 7:31pm

Thanks Jayne!

I just found out that if I was ever legless, I could walk using my ass cheeks. Ya Goofball ;;D

Jimmers

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Linda_Howell on Jan 26^th, 2007, 7:53pm

Jayne, I knew that my comment in another post about Ben Gay and you...would bring you out of the closet. (well so to speak)

Happy you decided to come check in on us girl. How's your pool game? ;)

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by nani on Jan 26^th, 2007, 8:41pm

LMAO... [smiley=laugh.gif]

Good to see ya, Jayne. Mooshie sends her love.

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Ree on Jan 26^th, 2007, 10:24pm

lolol [smiley=laugh.gif]thanks for the laugh...love ree

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Charlie on Jan 26^th, 2007, 11:14pm

Quote:

It was me I could hear....I had a whistling booger.

Wow. You too?

Had one of them once. Good eatin' though :o

Charlie

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by cateyes on Jan 26^th, 2007, 11:19pm

OMG I have tears IN MY EYES from laughing so hard....

Thanks for the fun

Tammy

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Donna_D. on Jan 27^th, 2007, 1:10am

After reading that story I don't ever want to hear you complain about my snoring ever, ever again!

I sure do miss you!!

DD

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Jan 27^th, 2007, 11:30am

I miss all of your stories like that! You're too funny! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by JenniferD on Jan 27^th, 2007, 12:46pm

This had me laughin' so hard I SNORKED! ROFL---
S N O R K [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by B14CK5H33P on Jan 27^th, 2007, 6:04pm

Now THAT'S too funny!!!

[smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by LadyElaine1 on Jan 27^th, 2007, 9:17pm

Thats funny Jayne! but not as funny as your ben gay story !
I laugh about that a lot to this day!

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by BlueMeanie on Jan 29^th, 2007, 7:22pm

LMAO. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by JeffB on Jan 29^th, 2007, 7:40pm

Nice, very, very nice! ;;D

Title: Re: Wheezing Intruder In My House!!!! TRUE STORY!!
Post by Woobie on Jan 31^st, 2007, 4:32am

HEY JAYNE!

We were crackin up at DavCon about this story! And we were talking about how funny you are... and how we'd LOVE to get you and Helen together.... I bet that would be a very memorable experience! [smiley=laugh.gif]

I hope you show up in Richmond - would LOVE to see you again and hear some more stories!

smooches
woobs