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Title: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by BarbaraD on Jan 14th, 2007, 7:13am Over the past few months I've seen a lot of newbies come on this board. That's great that they found us and can now get some support and help. BUT, I've seen a lot of "oldie" newbies coming back after years in "exile" and that bothers me. Several have posted that "I haven't been here in X years, but just got hit again and what's new?" Where the hell have they been for the X years. I can understand not wanting to think about CH when you don't have it, but checking in ever once in a while to "give back" some support you received when you were in "bad shape" doesn't seem like too much of an effort. There are people who come here every day that haven't been hit in several months or years, but they're here to give support to those who are being hit NOW. Those are the ones who need to be given the "gold stars". They're giving back some of what they got. From what I understand, since DJ got Moya Moya, he hasn't been hit with CH. What if he decided to shut down the board cause he doesn't "need" support any more? That's my rant for Sunday morning...... Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by brewcrew on Jan 14th, 2007, 8:53am Barb, The way I look at it, some people figure out that they need their family both in good times and in bad, while others look for comfort only when times are bad. I have realized that I need the folks in my "adopted" family here most all the time. Those others use ch.com like running back to mommy and daddy when they run out of cash in their emotional bank account. I like to make hay when the sun shines and keep sticking it in the bank. That way I can share it with my brothers and sisters when they need to make a withdrawal or two. Lord knows I've had to borrow some from them in the past. Kind of a stupid analogy, but I think you get the idea... |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by LadyElaine1 on Jan 14th, 2007, 9:19am Bitch Bitch Bitch and on Sunday, shame on you Barbara :-) We don't know who they help and who they don't help. I know several people who never post, but they email and help lots of people. When they were posting I bet they helped others at the time. Its not fair to say they don't ! Where does it say we have to post everyday, and when not in cycle? I read this board everyday. Someone gets hit or ask a questions. 20 people post they are sorry and give advice, why should 20 more people post and give the same advice? I look at post and someone has already said what I would have said. Why repeat it? Instead I send a email. What goes on on this board is not all that goes on. So I don't see where any of us can judge. If DJ never had another cluster and I hope he doesn't, would never close this board Down. DJ gave support when he had clusters and when he is pain free. The only time I ever knew DJ to close the board down was because of all the Bitching. No one knows what others do for others, because we don't know everyone here, there is no way to know everyone on this board. Just my 2 cents ! :) |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by chewy on Jan 14th, 2007, 9:29am Quote:
A good one to. Right on the money. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by pubgirl on Jan 14th, 2007, 9:59am I have to agree with Elaine AND Barbara. If people take when in need and never give anything back, that stinks BUT Just because people don't post here doesn't mean they aren't helping people or trying to "give back" something elsewhere. Sometimes people just need a break as this board can feel really overwhelming, and it can take guts to post publicly if you have been attacked previously or see others attacked. There are VERY bright and highly articulate people here with tongues that can be very sharp. Maybe some people need to stay "in the trenches" for a while sometimes, or even permanently but they could still be fighting. A personal view of course. W the B |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by karma on Jan 14th, 2007, 10:27am Its all a cycle. Newbies find it and are gung ho to be involved, learn, and help. They replace others who have been here awhile and may be getting a bit burned out. The cycle continues. I rarely even look at the general board anymore because of what it has turned into. CH.com is a mixed blessing for me. I learned enough to be able to manage it myself and pass this along when apporopriate. But before CH.com I never thought about it between cycles, now I think about it every day |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by floridian on Jan 14th, 2007, 10:37am I think its human nature. There will always be people who go to church mostly for wedings, funerals, and major holidays. And a few people that really get involved. This community is even looser and more informal. I think it would be better if more people took part more often, but Que Sera - it is what it is. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by chewy on Jan 14th, 2007, 10:54am Quote:
Quote:
READ the first post! I think Barb is refering to people who DO use the board but only for their own benefit. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by pubgirl on Jan 14th, 2007, 11:04am on 01/14/07 at 10:54:03, chewy wrote:
Chewy I can read but How would anyone know that they only do it for their own benefit? How do you know who is here and who isn't and why they are here? Wendy |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by chewy on Jan 14th, 2007, 11:12am Quote:
Pretty simple Wendy. They show up when they need support, get it, then dissappear. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by pubgirl on Jan 14th, 2007, 11:18am Chewy Sorry, don't mean to be pedantic here but what does "disappear" mean? Not post? (doesn't mean they do nothing) Don't appear as logged in? (they may prefer to be guests) I "disappeared" for quite a long time but I can promise you I wasn't gone and I wasn't doing nothing, I just didn't post. I still think people who take and don't give back are unfair, but it is really not fair to assume that if you can't see them and they aren't posting that they are doing nothing but take. W |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by chewy on Jan 14th, 2007, 11:22am Quote:
Refering strictly to the board, thats exactly what they are doing. Lots of people take breaks but most of those come back and offer something. I'm talking about the whiny, I need help people, who come, get what they need, and dont come back until they need again. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by pubgirl on Jan 14th, 2007, 11:29am Chewy Those ones can fuck off ;;D But we could still never be sure who they are and I suspect I would be called one of them. I just know that there are probably less than 20 people still regularly posting from when I first came here. We have "lost" many, many hundreds in that time as Flo says Que Sera, Human nature, "that is life". (and Yes, Jonny, Barbara, Bob and Margi are four of the originals God Help us all!) W the B Dubya da Bee Wendy ;;D |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by chewy on Jan 14th, 2007, 11:32am Quote:
And there you have it! 8) Quote:
No. No you wouldn't. I call you a lot of other things but thats for another thread. 8) |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Charlie on Jan 14th, 2007, 12:51pm I don't have people in my house that I have to deal with so I have the time to come here. It was addictive to me and the few times I was away, I missed this place. I admit that for me it's as much as a community as a support group but I find CH too damn interesting to not keep track. When my Dr. asks what's new? I like to have something to say. Despite Jonny, it's a place I like to be :o 8) Charlie |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by pubgirl on Jan 14th, 2007, 1:01pm on 01/14/07 at 12:51:36, Charlie wrote:
And I like you being here whenever I visit :-* Where is the MOC though, miss it? W |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Jackie on Jan 14th, 2007, 2:52pm I feel Barb is referring to the ones that come here.....whine, piss & moan, take what they need and are never seen or heard from again. After all, she went on a very long hiatus a while back....it was months and months. I kinda worried about her but figured she was just taking a break. Let's face it.....the world if made up of doers & givers....users & takers. Love to you all, Jackie |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by BarbaraD on Jan 14th, 2007, 3:50pm No, Jackie I didn't ever go anywhere. I was here and doing quite a bit during that time - just didn't have anything to say for a while. And I'm talking about the ones who only come here when they're in cycle (sometimes every two or three years) stay around a month or so and then disappear until they need support again. I don't know what people do when they don't come here. But the ones I'm talking about are the ones who SAY they haven't been around since their last cycle, but now need the board again. I guess that would be the takers. Guess this place means too much to me to take it for granted. Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Jonny on Jan 14th, 2007, 4:13pm on 01/14/07 at 14:52:36, Jackie wrote:
Thats my take on it! Why the pissing match? |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Jackie on Jan 14th, 2007, 4:41pm That old pooch is amazing....he's eating like a hog, wanting to run around (vet said keep in quiet...HA) and even wanting to play with his toys. Thanks for asking, King...... :-* Love to you, Jackie |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on Jan 14th, 2007, 5:09pm Well Barb, I hear what you are saying, but i dont think people should be required to stick around. Some people feel the need to give back at least what they have taken, others feel the need to give til it hurts, still others only take. It's what makes us a community and a family. As long as someone got relief, thats all that matters for me. Sure, I would like people to stick around and pitch in, but as long as a person gets help and relief, thats what is most important. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Donna_D. on Jan 14th, 2007, 5:44pm I don't post much publicly anymore because of various reasons...those of you who know me know why. That being said, I am here and reading every day. I send PM's to people needing support or advice. I do what I can to help out. I feel blessed if I get a response and even more blessed if I actually helped someone. Just because someone shows up here periodically (episodically?) to ask for a life line because they are drowning in pain doesn't mean I won't throw them a rope. Constant "attendance" on this message board should NEVER be a prerequisite for support. A key sentence from the visitors guide: There is plenty of room here for all. I believe that is what the true intention of this message board is...help for ALL who suffer or support someone with CH. To those that tend the lighthouse on a daily basis you get the satisfaction of helping someone in need. To those of you who just need a boost of support in your darkest hour, there are those of us here who care and are willing to help. DD |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by chewy on Jan 14th, 2007, 5:59pm Quote:
It isn't and never has been. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by brewcrew on Jan 14th, 2007, 6:27pm Some people pay it forward, and others don't. Pretty simple. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by TonyG1 on Jan 14th, 2007, 7:34pm on 01/14/07 at 17:44:24, Donna_D. wrote:
Agree with you Donna D -- Just looking at the guestbook brings things into perspective ... |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Jonny on Jan 14th, 2007, 7:52pm Im here everyday for more than seven years, nuff said! |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by dreamrider on Jan 14th, 2007, 7:55pm Well, that bitch applies to me. Hi all :-) It's been a while. Nope, I am not in an episode. Just got off one a month ago. Done quite a bit of research since I was here last (2000?). So, I came back HA-free, and with some findings. So, where is Q? |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by thebbz on Jan 15th, 2007, 3:35pm Rowin,rowin,rowin. No pain still I'm rowing...No hide. Through any kind of weather I'll keep rowin till your better..no hide. LOL..you wish I'd leave. ;;D jb PF days to all |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by tanner on Jan 15th, 2007, 6:09pm I have never been "out of cycle" so I dont know if this applies to me or not. I did take a long hiatus to see if maybe the day to day focus was somehow making me worse. I do want to bump what Elaine and others have said about behind the scenes help. I started to list people that have helped me behind the scene whether they know it or not and had to stop and delete because I was naming most of the board!!! I am trying and will always try to "pay it forward", but I will be kind of quiet sometimes. Love and Regards to one and all.....Tim |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by brewcrew on Jan 16th, 2007, 7:35am We all go through periods where we are more needy, and we end up taking more than we give. But when we're in a position to do so, we pay it back. Some people pay it back before they've hit a negative balance in the vibe account. That's called paying it forward. IMHO, not just on this board, but in all of life: If, overall, you take more than you give, you lose. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Shaz on Jan 16th, 2007, 8:20am Thanks for what you said Donna. I finished my last attack in Dec 2005 so have had a free year now. Over the last year I have been like many of you, regularly reading the posts and, if I can offer any help, reply. More often than not, everything I can offer has already been said but I am more often than not lurking about in the background. Saying that, my pc broke down just before Christmas, so today is the first time I have been able to get back onto the site. So I was quite worried that people will feeling I am just taking from the site. Hope that is not the case, cos if my sums are right my next episode is just round the corner and this site is like a life saver. Even if you cant think of any questions you want answered, just knowing you are all out there, all living life and putting up with this nightmare. I am not alone. A very belated happy new year to you all :-* :-* Shaz xx |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by sailpappy on Jan 16th, 2007, 8:55am ;;D ;;D I visit the boards a lot, maybe not everyday, and to keep from sounding like a "Know it all" I only post when the question posed still remains open for an answer. Like Tanner, I am never out of cycle, just out of my mind from time to time, don't want to let my mood affect others so I don't post unless I feel compelled to do so! A lot of good points have been made concerning this issue, personally, some of the things I have to say to people are private to the individual and I use PM's and e-mail. There is a lot of "off topic" stuff discussed here and at times it just seems too silly to add a comment to. We all have our slant on CH and CH.com Seems like someone wise once posted "Take what you need!" so thats what I do. I try to give back with tempered reference to my own experiences, which may or may not apply to all affected. Pappy |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Cathi04 on Jan 16th, 2007, 12:07pm OH! OH! And, THEN, if that's not enough, you have people here who are NOT sufferers, not even direct supporters who show up day after day after day to rabble rouse, say what they are thinking and try to understand this affliction, causing some general agitation that they might even have breached this inner sanctum! Da NOIVE! ;;D If you're here, you're here for one of 2 reasons, as I see it......it's because you hurt, or it's because you care. If this is true, well, then, it's working!!!!!! PF today, to all I care about! Cathi |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by echo on Jan 16th, 2007, 12:37pm on 01/16/07 at 12:07:48, Cathi04 wrote:
So far so good today. PF -- Thanks Puddin :-* |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Cathi04 on Jan 16th, 2007, 1:59pm You are sooo welcome, Echo! and, I am thrilled to hear it! Let's go for a twofer, shall we? Or a hattrick?? MORE PF! Cathi :-* |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by tanner on Jan 16th, 2007, 3:34pm on 01/16/07 at 12:07:48, Cathi04 wrote:
not pf but no 7's yet :) hmmmm....am i an agitator or just agitated [smiley=huh.gif] peace to all.....tim |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by kayarr on Jan 16th, 2007, 8:46pm on 01/16/07 at 12:07:48, Cathi04 wrote:
You my friend are a Genieass! Well said! |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Redd715 on Jan 16th, 2007, 8:51pm Quote:
And there are some who hurt..and care... Let's not forget them ok? JMHO |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Charlie on Jan 16th, 2007, 11:14pm on 01/14/07 at 13:01:49, pubgirl wrote:
Found me: http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/Angy Old Man.gif MOC |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by pubgirl on Jan 17th, 2007, 2:26am Hurrah! clusterville just isn't right without mean old Charlie :D |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by B14CK5H33P on Jan 17th, 2007, 4:41am I'm still here. I just had a wardrobe malfunction. ;;D |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Tim_w on Jan 17th, 2007, 5:48am Some of us may not get to the board as often as we would like too! some have a lot on there plates and get here when we can, Dose that make us any less FAMILY ?I DO NOT THINK SO!! just becouse We dont always post, Dont mean we are not here! WE ARE FAMILY , WE ARE ALWAYS HERE,EVEN WHEN WE ARE NOT! Praying Iam still a family member Happy Pappy |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by pubgirl on Jan 17th, 2007, 7:15am and for the record: Sailpappy was the very first person who Im'ed me to welcome me so many years ago when I first got here. None of us ever forget the first one who made us feel we had come home. This was longer ago than my profile suggests, I deleted my original one when I was pissed off I'm afraid. I think there should be a "cooling off" period for deletions i.e. when you try to delete your profile you get a message that says: "Why don't you wait a week or two? Jonny/Chewy/Unsolved/Elaine/Redd/Ree/MOC/KOP/Karma/Jackie/Donna/Barbara/Cathi/ etc etc etc add any name you feel like here is Ok really, you just need to get to know them" W the B (Wendy the Brit) Dubya da Bee P.S. Can I have a $ for every person who complained to DJ about Jonny when they first got here and who DJ has ignored knowing that if they are "worth their salt" they will deal with it? ;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by B14CK5H33P on Jan 17th, 2007, 7:23am on 01/17/07 at 07:15:48, pubgirl wrote:
I will NOT add my name to the list. Like I said, I had a wardrobe malfunction. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it! :-X Carl D |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Jackie on Jan 17th, 2007, 7:31am on 01/17/07 at 05:48:19, Tim_w wrote:
Always have been and always will be, Tim. This bunch will ALWAYS remain family....even if CH is cured tomorrow!!! Jacks 8) |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Shedz on Jan 17th, 2007, 10:32am I come here when PF, I come here when in pain. I know I don't come here that often but its NOT because I don't CARE, its because I don't have a PC and have to rely on my friends to allow me to spend time with you all, theres enough fighting on the face of this planet already don't ya think? [smiley=twocents.gif] PFDANs to you ALL. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Edna on Jan 17th, 2007, 12:28pm Hi Barb, Glad that we "your family" are here to hear your rant session. As for me, I see both sides. I mean really, I know a friend needs a little support..........I come here and post for it.......with a FAMILY.............and I just see that after "8" reads of the damned thing.............not a one person posts.....................WTF??????? Yep, life throws us curves quite often. That somehow prevents most of us from being able to keep up with this site as much as we want to. My heart is always here although my time unfortunately can't always be as much as I'd like. Cathi - hugs a million to you.............you're a rock for many!!!!!!!!! Tim - you got family that always cares here.......hugs for you. King - I miss our chats and your laughter and MOC - you ain't mean.....you just foolin everyone :-* so, I guess we all can see the both sides................Barb, hugs for you too honey, I miss you. and for those I do not know yet...........hope you don't just right me off as one of the bitches that just comes when she needs.......... I need nothing today.........was just checking in while I had a few seconds to spare thank you DJ hugs and pf wishes, EDNA |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by BlueMeanie on Jan 17th, 2007, 6:13pm I forgot how Melissa spelled it, but it goes something like this. K W I T Y U R B I T C H I N ;;D Now get back to work. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by TonyG1 on Jan 17th, 2007, 7:15pm on 01/17/07 at 10:32:54, Shedz wrote:
Couldn't agree with you more Shedz !! T. |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by mynm156 on Jan 17th, 2007, 7:28pm I hear ya and understand where you are coming from. However, I think that regardless of the reasons someone comes or leaves when someone comes here for REAL help and understanding I think we need to remember that. I drift away for short periods of time as do most of us. Sometimes life gets in the way of things and when I get a repreave I try and use that time to be with the ones who also pay the price for my problem. Good vibes MYNM156 |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Kevin_M on Jan 17th, 2007, 7:59pm on 01/14/07 at 07:13:33, BarbaraD wrote:
Oh, you mean Barb, like the ones that say "Oh, I won't be around awhile because I'm building some new house in a place called Red Hill", near another obvious fabrication, some Atlanta, Texas." ::) Then claims to not have hookup connections for weeks in this fabled "Red Hill" super-metropolis. What next, the new house was built on feet sticking out with ruby slippers and you couldn't find your way back to DJ's Kansas??? Or, "the dog chewed one of my fuzzy ruby slippers and I couldn't click heels." Now she claims it's snowing in this "Red Hill" near Atlanta, Texas. What are you, in a poppy field just outside of Emerald... oh I mean, Red Hill? I just think, "what did I say to make someone come up with THESE excuses". missed ya, luvya Barbie. ;) |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by FrankW on Jan 18th, 2007, 3:02am I have recklessly forgotten Your glory. And among sinners I have scattered the riches which You gave to me. [smiley=bow.gif] |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by BarbaraD on Jan 18th, 2007, 5:09am on 01/17/07 at 19:59:55, Kevin_M wrote:
Yep, I just ain't in Kansas no more Toto! ;;D Hugs BD |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Mattrf on Jan 18th, 2007, 3:16pm This place like an addiction, I can’t seem to leave it nor do I want to, true I have been in cycle since I found this place but even if it ended I think I would not be able to not come here and give a little back. I have disappeared at times but only for a few days at a time and it was because I was in no condition to give support and needed to just recharge my batteries to go another round and get in a place that I could help others without feeling like I was bringing them lower then they already where. If someone is a newbie or an old timer that has been gone a while, neither has ever played into my choice to give them support when they asked for it. I think we all need to remember what a lonely dark place it was that we found ourselves in when we where alone with our pain and before we found this site and this community that DJ built. DJ, thank you just doesn’t do my friend. Matt [smiley=bow.gif] |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by Cathi04 on Jan 18th, 2007, 7:13pm Personally, I'd much rather have people who feel up to actively participating....whether in cycle or not. I am constantly in awe when I read 3 members, 27 guests.........WTF???? Why would you want to eavesdrop??? In actuality, on any given day, there are enough people who are contributing enough to keep this place abuzz, and if someone doesn't feel like joining in today, something will compell them tomorrow........... Share what you can..........leave something for everyone else. BE PF-coz that's what its all about!(or is that the Hokey-Pokey? ::)) Cathi |
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Title: Re: I Gotta Bitch.... Post by lskilly on Jan 18th, 2007, 7:20pm I am guilty !!!!!! I admit it !!!!!! But I wont do it again !!!!!! I promise !!!!!!! Go ahead bash my head in hell it hurts anyway. Skilly |
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