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        New Message Board Archives >> 2007 General Board Posts >> Bad day
        
(Message started by: peacestock on Jan 11^th, 2007, 8:54pm)

Title: Bad day
Post by peacestock on Jan 11^th, 2007, 8:54pm

Yep, it even happens to me. I am usually the happy one. Always cracking jokes, I don't take too much too seriously. I can't. It's just the way I am.

I have CH (no duh!) and I also make lots of kidney stones due to faulty kidneys. I always thought it would be my kidneys that killed me but this year I also found out I have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis. It's sort of like MS. My thalamus doesn't feed my muscles properly. It also causes cognitive problems. That will probably be what kills me.

I also have two types of migraines. One causes painful headaches (not as bad as CH, though) and the other kinds causes stroke like symptoms. This year I lost some function in my left hand due to an episode and it still hasn't gotten better.

It just seems that something just doesn't want me to be here. Everytime I turn around, there is something else trying to kill me. Maybe Gawd is trying to tell me something. I belong to so many support groups, but all they ever want to discuss is research. No one ever asks "how are you?". I am sick to death of support groups.

Then I find this place and I really like it. It has great information plus there are people who care about how each other are doing. I am not one to let strangers opinions matter to me; I would have be beated down long ago should I let that happen. But it's hard, you know. When you have all these stupid things wrong with you and you are in pain all the time, and you can't keep up with your kids anymore and you can't even work...

I sit on so many Boards because I want to matter and to make a difference...but then the health issues come along and you start to wonder if maybe you would just be better off staying at home and lying in bed all day. I keep fighting. I really do. I just didn't want to fight with people, too.

It's not just people on here. I am the president of a Board and even they started shitting on me today. It's like they have no compassion. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, but I DO want them to cut me a bit of slack. Just a bit. Just on the bad days. I cut slack for others.

So there you go. Just having a shitty day, trying to find a sign that I really truly am meant to be here and that it will get better. I just want to be healthy, just for a while. Just want to go to bed knowing that it won't hurt, or pee knowing it won't hurt. Just play with my kids knowing it won't hurt.

I have lost so much this past year. I just want the scales to tip, you know? Just to feel like something good is coming. It's hard always fighting.

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by Guiseppi on Jan 11^th, 2007, 9:06pm

Well I don't even know you and I love you! I thought CH alone sucked. You've got a hell of a plate with CH, Migrains, young kids, kidney stones, and then more health issues over and above that!!!!! I tip my hat to you maam! ;)

Guiseppi

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by Jonny on Jan 11^th, 2007, 9:09pm

IMHO.......TROLL!!!!

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by artonio7 on Jan 11^th, 2007, 9:16pm

Peacestock,

You are here for a reason. You make a difference in everyones life. Even through your suffering. The weight is not on your shoulders alone to bear...although at times especially now it doesn't seem that way.

Eventually this too shall pass. I'll keep praying for you and all my other friends here on this site. If you need someone to talk to pm me and I'll send you my number.

with warm regards,
Tony

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by Jonny on Jan 11^th, 2007, 9:30pm

on 01/11/07 at 18:40:08, Kevin_M wrote:

Further bother due to your suspect credibility from
and purposely unanswered questions still hanging about CH (some for more than 24 hours now from the genuinely concerned, despite your consistent presence),

on 01/11/07 at 19:55:05, Redd715 wrote:

What I think may be the root of all the hostility is that when questioned about what meds you have taken, what you history with CH is, it seems to get swept under the rug for jab vs. jab banter.

What newbie starts and keeps a thread going for three pages over days and wont answer a CH med question?

See here ;)

http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=meds;action=display;num=1168377248;start=0

Read it all....if you have the time ::)

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by artonio7 on Jan 11^th, 2007, 11:18pm

What the hell is a troll?

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by tanner on Jan 11^th, 2007, 11:42pm

on 01/11/07 at 23:18:59, artonio7 wrote:

What the hell is a troll?

artonio, sorry that i have not gotten around to meeting you yet, but I have read your posts.

Google internet troll and then if you are like me stand back and watch the hounds do their work. They are not flawless, but they are pretty darn good at rooting them out.

PFDANS and I look forword to getting to know you....Tim

Title: Re: Bad daytroll
Post by artonio7 on Jan 11^th, 2007, 11:57pm

oh...... OH! :o

here's one of the things I found............

troll
1. v.,n. [From the Usenet group alt.folklore.urban] To utter a posting on Usenet designed to attract predictable responses or flames; or, the post itself. Derives from the phrase “trolling for newbies” which in turn comes from mainstream “trolling”, a style of fishing in which one trails bait through a likely spot hoping for a bite. The well-constructed troll is a post that induces lots of newbies and flamers to make themselves look even more clueless than they already do, while subtly conveying to the more savvy and experienced that it is in fact a deliberate troll. If you don't fall for the joke, you get to be in on it. See also YHBT.

2. n. An individual who chronically trolls in sense 1; regularly posts specious arguments, flames or personal attacks to a newsgroup, discussion list, or in email for no other purpose than to annoy someone or disrupt a discussion. Trolls are recognizable by the fact that they have no real interest in learning about the topic at hand - they simply want to utter flame bait. Like the ugly creatures they are named after, they exhibit no redeeming characteristics, and as such, they are recognized as a lower form of life on the net, as in, “Oh, ignore him, he's just a troll.” Compare kook.

3. n. [Berkeley] Computer lab monitor. A popular campus job for CS students. Duties include helping newbies and ensuring that lab policies are followed. Probably so-called because it involves lurking in dark cavelike corners.

Some people claim that the troll (sense 1) is properly a narrower category than flame bait, that a troll is categorized by containing some assertion that is wrong but not overtly controversial. See also Troll-O-Meter.

The use of ‘troll’ in any of these senses is a live metaphor that readily produces elaborations and combining forms. For example, one not infrequently sees the warning “Do not feed the troll” as part of a followup to troll postings.
____________________________________________________________

Here's another I found from this site.
Internet Trolls (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi?board=general;action=display;num=1167555247)

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by Margi on Jan 12^th, 2007, 11:01am

Michelle - I am so sorry you had a bad day yesterday. You HAVE found a place that can be welcome distraction when things around us become dark brown and lumpy. You just sometimes have to dig through the sand to find the pearls.

Jonny, she's not a troll, ok? Trust me on this one. She hasn't tried any cluster meds yet and she HAS answered that question in another thread. Please cut her some slack.

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by Jonny on Jan 12^th, 2007, 6:51pm

on 01/12/07 at 11:01:57, Margi wrote:

Jonny, she's not a troll, ok? Trust me on this one.

If you say so!

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by peacestock on Jan 12^th, 2007, 10:16pm

Rofl! I like the fact that Jonny things I am a troll.

Back in the day we called them "flamers", but of course that has a whole different connotation. Yes, my "thread" produced a LOT of interest, but there was no baiting, no flaming (other than TO me), and no interesting finale. Just lil old me.

Maybe my lack of "newbie" smell bothers Jonny. I assure you, this is only do the the fact that I have been geeking for a long time. I started posting when it was all local dial up and there were only two lines!

Thank you all. I had such a bad day yesterday. Tony and Guiseppi, thank you for your kind words. I like the saying "this too shall pass". I just needed to be reminded.

Michelle

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by Jonny on Jan 13^th, 2007, 7:21am

on 01/12/07 at 22:16:49, peacestock wrote:

but there was no baiting, no flaming (other than TO me), and no interesting finale. Just lil old me.

You get what you seek!

Title: Re: Bad day
Post by pubgirl on Jan 13^th, 2007, 7:46am

on 01/11/07 at 20:54:47, peacestock wrote:

I belong to so many support groups, but all they ever want to discuss is research. No one ever asks "how are you?". I am sick to death of support groups.

I sit on so many Boards because I want to matter and to make a difference...
It's not just people on here. I am the president of a Board and even they started shitting on me today. It's like they have no compassion. I don't want people to feel sorry for me, but I DO want them to cut me a bit of slack. Just a bit. Just on the bad days. I cut slack for others.

I have lost so much this past year. I just want the scales to tip, you know? Just to feel like something good is coming. It's hard always fighting.

Sorry Michelle/Peacestock but............:

(in addition to my other posts elsewhere about you needing to see a neuro for a proper diagnosis before posting any more about headache treatments, and to take care with any meds you may take because of your OCD, ME and other conditions)

I feel the need to highlight other concerns:

I really don't think this particular support board DOES offer what you need. Your needs seem to be so multiple, evidenced by your many physical and mental health issues and many posts already and you have added another with the post quoted above (see P.S)

It seems to me (but then I can only "say how I see" that support boards are just stopping you getting the help you really need from the professionals, whether they be mental or physical health professionals.
You also seem to need someone who understands the integral nature of both types of treatment.

Why don't you use the time you are spending on these "so many support groups" and spend it with real people who can really help you?
I know this sounds harsh, but it is what I think. We all have "issues" here but where they stem from something other than CH, this ISN'T the place to succour or resolve them.

Wendy

P.S. Can I also suggest you take a look at "Victim/Rescuer/Persecutor Syndrome" It is part of mainstream psychology and is not whacky or trendy. It is part of Eric Berne's "I'm OK, You're OK" transactional analysis theory and you can specifically find it in "Games People Play".

You are showing classic signs of this as well as the other things I'm afraid.
It is very common to find people with "rescuer" tendencies on support boards, but yours is pretty extreme already, even after only a few posts.