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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Ack...my Mom
        
(Message started by: HeadhurtinMama on Nov 9^th, 2006, 11:01pm)

Title: Ack...my Mom
Post by HeadhurtinMama on Nov 9^th, 2006, 11:01pm

>:( I love my Mom to death and we are very close, but today I was at work at my desk and she called me and asked if my clusters were caused by stress. Like maybe a massage and a pedicure would fix it. It took everything I had to not hang up the phone. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut. I guess that it is one thing to have doctors questions the pain that you are in and I sometimes even don't think that my husband understands, but my own mom. It felt like a knife in my heart. And of course I started crying, and was stuck at my desk. I told her I couldn't talk to her right then. I have tried to explain CH to my family, I guess they didn't listen. So, I sent her some links and the link to the colleague letter and asked her to read it on her way to work. She did send me an email and apologize, I know she was just trying to help. She doesn't understand. I was finally diagnosed a year ago and she hasn't listened to a word I've said in that year. If only that pedicure and massage would fix it...

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by nani on Nov 9^th, 2006, 11:04pm

Get her to pay for a massage and a pedicure. ;) The only person who really need to understand it is YOU. :)
hugs and pf wishes, nani

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by thebbz on Nov 9^th, 2006, 11:07pm

HHMama,
Stress is a big trigger. ;) not a cause. Hang in there.
I dont think curly toe nails will cause it or trigger it.
But you need a pedicure and a massage anyway. I am sure you deserve it.
all the best
jb

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by Mrs Deej on Nov 9^th, 2006, 11:14pm

on 11/09/06 at 23:01:40, HeadhurtinMama wrote:

She doesn't understand.

How many people honestly do?! :-/

I hope that one day she will truely understand the pain and desperation you feel.

Until then...get your tootsies done and know that in her heart she wasn't trying to belittle you or your pain. Mothers try...in there own weird way...to make things better. YOU are the one that knows...yet it's hard to explain.

Get a copy of Chuck's attack, maybe it would help her understand. :-/ Just my [smiley=twocents.gif]

We love you honey...be strong!!

Steph

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by Cathi04 on Nov 9^th, 2006, 11:39pm

I'm with Steph..........let her see Chuck's atttack...but, since we know most dont understand CH, perhaps it would be best to give her the literature to read first.... maybe the letter to colleagues??
Standing here as a non-sufferer, I know I have bungled at times. It's NOT intentional, we just don't know HOW to help, so we stumble thru it with best intentions.
Poor mom, for working so hard at it, while clueless...........
Poor HHM, for dealing so with the beast..............
I think you BOTH should go for a pedi, mani and massage......it'll help you psyche, if nothin' else, and give you just a lil bit more to stand against the beast.......besides, it'll give you time to sit RIGHT beside her, and be sure she reads every word of the letter!!

Wishing you PF.and smooth sailing with Mom......

Cathi

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by sandie99 on Nov 10^th, 2006, 3:09am

My mum used to tell me to "get a donut" whatever the problem was, including ch. She was with me when I was diagnosed back in 2003, but it took her until this spring to give me the kind of support I need.

I bet that most of us have people in our lives who do not understand ch. And no matter how much we try to educate them, they do not get it.

I know that you wish that your mum would get it and support you the way you want. Maybe she will one day. Give her time and in the meantime take care of yourself.

Wishing you PF time,
Sanna

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by BarbaraD on Nov 10^th, 2006, 5:48am

Get the massage and pedicure... It sure can't HURT.

Give her time to accept that you have a disease that doesn't have a cause as of yet.

Pretty toenails help keep depression away...

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by taraann on Nov 10^th, 2006, 6:04am

Sandie, that's too funny my dad always would try to fix any problem with snacks. One time I was really upset and was bawling my eyes out and he just kept bringing me an assortment of all the snacks in the house [smiley=laugh.gif]

HHMama, my hubby used to not really understand and would kinda get mad when I was having a tough time with my head. Now he is the best supporter I could ask for, he is very understanding. Hang in there maybe the same will go for your hubby and mom. And I agree get pampered it'll feel good regardless!

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by HeadhurtinMama on Nov 10^th, 2006, 7:08am

Thanks all for listening, I really needed a place where I could write it down and quit crying about it. I know that my Mom said what she said out of love and with the best of intentions. She has never seen me hit. I moved cross country at the age of 18. I did start with the colleagues letter, but I like the idea of the video of Chuck's attack.

Thank you guys all for being here, you are turning into my second family! And today is payday, so that pedicure is sounding better and better. Can't swing the massage, daycare costs too much!
[smiley=laugh.gif]
Bridget

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by Charlie on Nov 10^th, 2006, 9:50pm

I've been there but the worst was a doctor that, when I told him I had clusters: "They can be very painful."

I dunno. Maybe that wasn't so bad as I think about it.

Charlie http://subscribe.smileygenerator.us/new/albums//pace.gif

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by brewcrew on Nov 11^th, 2006, 8:50am

on 11/10/06 at 03:09:43, sandie99 wrote:

My mum used to tell me to "get a donut" whatever the problem was, including ch.

Ah, yes. The time-honored tradition of fixing any and every problem with food.

Maybe that's why I'm 25 pounds overweight.

Title: Re: Ack...my Mom
Post by Charlotte on Nov 11^th, 2006, 7:14pm

I don't know why we would expect anyone to understand these, when most Drs don't even understand.

I've learned to laugh with all the people who say, "It's just a headache". I'm laughing for a different reason, however, because it is senseless to be angry or hurt.

Charlotte