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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> The Guys Rules
        
(Message started by: JeffB on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 1:42pm)

Title: The Guys Rules
Post by JeffB on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 1:42pm

The Guys Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down. Finally, the
guys' side of the story.

We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules
from the male side. These are our rules! Please note... these are all
numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it
down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining
about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it
that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's
what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In
fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us
to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it
done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.

1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach,
for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just
not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer
you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine
... Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as sports, the weather, or hunting.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch
tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Title: Re: The Guys Rules
Post by echo on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 1:50pm

That deserves a "Hell Yea"!!

Hope the female of the species takes note.

edited to add that I personally think that of all those mentioned #1 is in fact, the most important point.

Title: Re: The Guys Rules
Post by jimmers on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 2:09pm

HELL YEAH!

1. If there is another girl at work you can't stand, KICK HER ASS! IF thats the kind of day that you had at work then I would be interested! ;;D

Jimmers

Title: Re: The Guys Rules
Post by Charlotte on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 2:22pm

Anything said is null as soon as it's done being heard. Next time anything is said is all new. Plus, anything said is only valid if you are looking the guy straight in the eye, and only the first 3 words count.

Charlotte

Title: Re: The Guys Rules
Post by Jonny on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 5:00pm

on 09/22/06 at 13:42:54, JeffB wrote:

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

LMMFAO!!!!!!! [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: The Guys Rules
Post by BarbaraD on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 5:36pm

Women's RULE #12

When PMS is present, I'd suggest you run and hide cause ALL Rules are OFF! ;;D

Hugs BD

Title: Re: The Guys Rules
Post by Linda_Howell on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 6:08pm

Jeff? I would like to draw your attention to Thomas' thread a little farther down from this one. ;)

Title: Re: The Guys Rules
Post by Carl_D on Sep 22^nd, 2006, 6:22pm

Why does a woman ask "Does my butt look big in this?"

I wouldn't advise answering, "Could you be more specific? In this room, this block or spacial existance? Do you really want to know the mass of your ass?"

You WILL get slapped. Don't ask how I know this. ;;D

Peace,
Carl