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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> A call out to men
        
(Message started by: alchemy on Aug 29^th, 2006, 7:44pm)

Title: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 29^th, 2006, 7:44pm

I have estrogen dripping from the walls of my house. My 21 yr old daughter just moved back home and I am out numbered three to one. They're burning incense that makes the house smell like a three dollar sleeper, they watch all these messed up shows. right now they're watching dr.90210 and wouldn't you know it there's a guy on there changing into a women. I need help. I need guys to post swearing talking about beer, strippers, bikes anything normal. I'm ready to go out and start a bar fight, but I can't be late for dinner and guess what it is kiesh. If I wasn't a lesbian I'd totally be fucked. help

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by brewcrew on Aug 29^th, 2006, 7:46pm

Being a lesbian in a house full of your female offspring is what makes you totally fucked! :o

You're gonna need to move.

Now.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on Aug 29^th, 2006, 7:49pm

One piece of advice for you, bro:
Buy stock in Playtex.

Then, later, when you are rich, you can take your ass out to the nail salon WITH the girls and drink diet coke and talk about reality TV.

Dont fight it, bro
Brian

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by JeffB on Aug 29^th, 2006, 7:51pm

on 08/29/06 at 19:44:14, alchemy wrote:

You are screwed my out numbered friend, but for what it's worth. Just think about some of these
guns
trucks
dogs
lap dances
steaks
midget tossing
peterbuilts
John Wayne (gotta love the Duke)
fishing
chew
spittin
daisy duke shorts
fuck it..............just keep drinking!

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Jonny on Aug 29^th, 2006, 7:56pm

Lesbians were invited on this shoot ;;D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OgQCOIXAfGY

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Linda_Howell on Aug 29^th, 2006, 7:59pm

I'm with the guys on this one hon.

Get on your bike.
Pack only what you really need.
Tell them you'll see them again during menopause.

Wait. That's no good either. Just keep riding til there ain't no more land beneath your feet. ;;D

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 29^th, 2006, 8:09pm

on 08/29/06 at 19:46:39, brewcrew wrote:

Being a lesbian in a house full of your female offspring is what makes you totally fucked! :o

You're gonna need to move.

Now.

me thinks you took that wrong

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Paul98 on Aug 29^th, 2006, 8:09pm

Go on an embargo and leave the toilet seat up! Use the last of the toilet paper! Drink from the carton in the fridge! Have a few beers and belch the alphabet! Practice the phrase "get me a beer!" Say "pull my finger!"

-P.

ps, You can stay with me Bro when you are thrown out of the house.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by brewcrew on Aug 29^th, 2006, 8:11pm

on 08/29/06 at 20:09:11, alchemy wrote:

me thinks you took that wrong

Nah, I's just messin' with ya. ;)

Hope it made you laugh...that was its intent.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Miklos on Aug 29^th, 2006, 8:47pm

Sorry, they don't call me Michelle for nothing.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by cootie on Aug 29^th, 2006, 9:09pm

Actually I find GIRL stuff boreing too myself but I am NO lesbian......nor a dike Pam

Ya need yer own MAN ROOM......blast the stereo and have yer own satillite box and big tv......hang pics of bikes and bar signs and get yer own small personal fridge. Course with a house full of girls they'd prolly only steal wine coolers anyhow....you like beer rite ? Get yerself sum nice PLAID furniture too cuz women hate that and will stay out of YOUR space. Do it....you know you want tooooooooooooo !

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by chewy on Aug 29^th, 2006, 9:24pm

Hope you have more than one bathroom over there.

Are you a lipstick lesbian or wearing a wife beater and work boots?

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Aug 29^th, 2006, 9:25pm

Hey Jim.....good luck!

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 29^th, 2006, 9:44pm

on 08/29/06 at 21:24:57, chewy wrote:

Hope you have more than one bathroom over there.

Are you a lipstick lesbian or wearing a wife beater and work boots?

[smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Cathi04 on Aug 29^th, 2006, 11:00pm

I dont see a single thing wrong with hanging out with the girlz..........

[smiley=girlflash.gif] [smiley=girlflash.gif] [smiley=girlflash.gif]

Pass the clicker and let's have a tea party!

Cathi ;;D

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by georgej on Aug 30^th, 2006, 12:00am

on 08/29/06 at 19:44:14, alchemy wrote:

I have estrogen dripping from the walls of my house. My 21 yr old daughter just moved back home and I am out numbered three to one.

I need help. I need guys to post swearing talking about beer, strippers, bikes anything normal. I'm ready to go out and start a bar fight, but I can't be late for dinner and guess what it is kiesh.

Egad. I thought I had it bad outnumbered two to one.

1. Put lots of tabasco sauce on the quiche, and wash it down with Budweiser. It helps.

2. Smoke cigars. It helps to dispell the estrogen.

3. Bring your bike inside and dismantle it in the living room. Use lots of power tools to drown out the sound of 90210.

4. If you find anything flimsy drying on the shower rod, wipe your hands on it. They'll find somewhere else to hang the stuff.

Good luck.

George

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Margi on Aug 30^th, 2006, 3:07pm

Cootie's right, Jim - you need to find yourself a MAN PLACE. For my Mike, it's the garage. He's got it set up real nice for himself - stereo, tv, CALENDARS ::), tools, grease and other icky stuff. I'm sure he wouldn't mind if you came over and hung out there with him.

When our girls come over, Mike's pretty quick to skitter out to the garage and leave us to our giggling. I once found him sitting on a lawn chair in the box of his truck, watching his car shows on TV. He looked all together WAY too happy up there. ;)

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by andrewjb on Aug 30^th, 2006, 3:12pm

many weird and wonderful things have been developed while the girls giggled.lets hear it for the "mans place".antique furniture is my bint.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Jonny on Aug 30^th, 2006, 3:33pm

Put some of this in the bathroom ;;D

http://www.consumptionjunction.com/downloadsnew/cj_60379.wmv

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by jimmers on Aug 30^th, 2006, 6:00pm

Fart, Burp, piss on the seat, leave it down, scratch your yambag in front of them, Who cares?

Take back your castle! (You pay the bills) ;;D

Or me and jonny will come to your place and straighten shit out! ;)

Boss till she gets home,

Jimmers

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 30^th, 2006, 6:21pm

on 08/30/06 at 15:33:25, Jonny wrote:

Put some of this in the bathroom ;;D

http://www.consumptionjunction.com/downloadsnew/cj_60379.wmv

awsome Jonny I'm getting some.
I'm the boss around here what I say goes. course I'm typing this while they're at the mall ;;D

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by BobG on Aug 30^th, 2006, 6:55pm

Duct Tape!
Nobody said Duct Tape! Not even Margi. I am so disappointed. :'(

And I wanna go to Mike's garage. :D

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by E-Double on Aug 30^th, 2006, 7:13pm

Go scrub a toilet Bitch ;)
:-*

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 30^th, 2006, 7:32pm

on 08/30/06 at 19:13:09, E-Double wrote:

Go scrub a toilet Bitch ;)
:-*

E it's just beginning for you, I'd start scrubbing if I were you ;)

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by ClusterChuck on Aug 30^th, 2006, 8:37pm

on 08/29/06 at 19:44:14, alchemy wrote:

My 21 yr old daughter just moved back home

When are these damn kids gonna realize that it is NOT a revolving door?? Once you're OUT, you are OUT !!!

SHEESH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chuck

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Paul98 on Aug 30^th, 2006, 8:56pm

OK Jim, here is a dose of TESTOSTERONE:

http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6d611b3127cce8c3bfe67630600000016100AZuWzdi0Ys2IA

-P.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Kevin_M on Aug 30^th, 2006, 10:06pm

When I started working where I do about six years ago the entire building had total lack of testosterone with all the women there. Another guy and I carved out a corner of the building as a safehouse area and now about eight women are regulars in our area, makes for a good balance, but short visits only outside that area in truly no-man's land.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Margi on Aug 31^st, 2006, 10:31am

on 08/30/06 at 20:37:50, ClusterChuck wrote:

When are these damn kids gonna realize that it is NOT a revolving door?? Once you're OUT, you are OUT !!!

SHEESH !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chuck

Yeah, good luck with that concept, Dad. Ours came home three times before it finally stuck in her little pea brain that she doesn't live here anymore. The last time didn't go all that well when she finally got the meaning behind "my house, my rules". Now...she's got a daughter of her OWN. Totally new playing field now. :D

Sorry, BobG. Duct tape. Duct tape. Duct tape. Better?
Mike would welcome you in his garage as well, anytime. ;)

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Mosaicwench on Aug 31^st, 2006, 10:46am

LOL Alchemy - I have just the opposite problem.

My 81 year old dad just moved in with my husband, and son, and I . . . . I have testosterone dripping from the walls.

Except for a spayed female cat, I'm the only female around . . . . . (sigh)

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Margi on Aug 31^st, 2006, 10:56am

I'm in the same boat, Mosaic...

for years it was me, my daughter, our female dog, female cat and Mike.

Now, daughter is out on her own, we have a male dog, male cat, Mike and me, and an odd collection of BOYS in the garage at any given time. The tables have turned on me. Strange and icky noises come from the garage now, and sometimes it totally sucks to be me. :(

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 11:39am

Yesterday I put my foot down and cracked the whip. I wanted all my daughters stuff out of the garage so I can have it back to be able to hide out there and do manly things. I told her it had to be done yesterday. It almost worked. She got most of it done probably would have finished it but her and mom spent the afternoon at the mall. Whoever said a man's home is his castle was fucking stupid. ;;D

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Margi on Aug 31^st, 2006, 11:54am

on 08/31/06 at 11:39:16, alchemy wrote:

Yesterday I put my foot down and cracked the whip.

So.....once they stopped laughing at you....they went to the mall?

Yep. Sounds about right.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 12:07pm

no they didn't laugh alright they did
I'm going back to muttering so they can't hear me

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Margi on Aug 31^st, 2006, 12:18pm

oh. they can hear you, Jim. trust me on that one. Muttering just hones our senses....

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 1:26pm

mutter mutter mutter

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Margi on Aug 31^st, 2006, 1:28pm

translation: FRIGGIN' women.

See? told ya.

:P

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Linda_Howell on Aug 31^st, 2006, 1:36pm

In terms of laughter, this thread is right up there with the "circus midgets" and drummers Mr. Winky threads.

Thanks guys. I needed this today.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alienspacebabe on Aug 31^st, 2006, 1:40pm

BURP!

oops. is that allowed from a testosterone-challenged individual?

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 1:54pm

on 08/31/06 at 13:28:30, Margi wrote:

translation: FRIGGIN' women.

See? told ya.

:P

goddamit can't get away with anything :(

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by paulc on Aug 31^st, 2006, 1:56pm

I'll send you a couple of cases of the sandpaper that passes for toilet paper in cheap European hotels (or there is also the kind that comes in single sheets and is like waxpaper). They'll either leave or your hot water bills will increase from all of the showers that they'll have to take each time they "go"-but if you use Lava as your soap, I think that you'll win! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 2:06pm

there's no winning. they all take hour long showers. and three of them all on they're monthly at the same time. to me PMS means pack my shit!!

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by paulc on Aug 31^st, 2006, 2:14pm

Some university study years ago (I think it was at Haavaad) showed that when womens live together for longer than a couple of months their "time of month" synchronizes and they all get "it" at the same time. If you have a harem you are in real trouble-perhaps that's the cause of all the fighting in the Middle East-too much testosterone in the guys' blood!

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 2:19pm

I figure I've got one safe week a month. There's the throwing knives the week before, the I hate you the week during and the grouchy recovery the week after. I think I'll move into my garage.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by paulc on Aug 31^st, 2006, 2:41pm

I think that all you American men should move to Montana for those 3 weeks each month-where the men are men and the sheep are nervous (but they won't hit you or yell at you).

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 2:45pm

I'm willing to bet those sheep have attitudes too.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Margi on Aug 31^st, 2006, 2:51pm

maybe so, Jim, but do you think the sheep will be as baaaaaad?

Sorry. LOL

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by TxBasslady on Aug 31^st, 2006, 2:54pm

on 08/31/06 at 12:07:45, alchemy wrote:

no they didn't laugh alright they did
I'm going back to muttering so they can't hear me

LMFAO [smiley=crackup.gif]

[smiley=smokin.gif] :-*

Jean

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Paul98 on Aug 31^st, 2006, 3:09pm

Jim, No need for extravagant toilet paper. Crumple up old paper bags.

As for 2 hour showers, Use your imagination. Give them ~4-5 min each and then slowly turn off the hot water @ the water heater. When they bitch about cold water, tell them they drained all the hot water from the tank. ;;D If that dosn't work I suggest thermohydrophobia. Give them the same 4-5 min and flush a toilet. If men can shower in a boomer using 1 cup of water in under a minute, 5 min ought to be plenty for them!!

Be crative.

-P.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 4:48pm

on 08/31/06 at 15:09:46, Paul98 wrote:

Great thought try and do it and still live. Were dealin with wimmens here. Phoenix has already sent me letters calling me a water hog, and a threat to the water supply in Phoenix.

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by Charlie on Aug 31^st, 2006, 5:03pm

No towels. http://www.kolobok.wrg.ru/smiles/he_and_she/hysteric.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

HD TV with a week of prepaid sports and beer. http://www.kolobok.wrg.ru/smiles/rpg/girl_werewolf.gif?SSImageQuality=Full

Charlie

Title: Re: A call out to men
Post by alchemy on Aug 31^st, 2006, 5:15pm

on 08/31/06 at 17:03:49, Charlie wrote:

You don't how dangerous these wimmens are.