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Title: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Carl_D on Aug 20th, 2006, 2:31am I had 6 attacks thursday in a 24 hour period. I felt fucked without a kiss, lube, or a 'how ya doin'? ' I got two attacks yesterday morning which, the 2nd didn't abort and hit kip 10. Since before noon friday, I have had no hits, but lotsa shadowing ( I got a cool idea for cluster head art while shaving my head yesterday... pics to come). Battling alot of shit, but okay. I feel conditioned for this, but like Bman said last night, "The first few weeks you have the fight before getting worn down." Well, being chronic for 8 years I know that rundown. Still battling full frontal pissed off right now... but not sure how long I will maintain. Pain will change you: your way of thinking and your way of feeling. I know this all too well. So I am using the best distractions I have. Right now, someone has tried to break into my apartment 3 times in the past 2 weeks, and I am ready to kill. I keep my guitar stashed, and if anyone ever stole my baby - death would not come to them soon, but slow!!! A neighbor told me tonight two kids this morning were trying to climb up the gutter of my back window and she yelled "I'm calling the cops" and they ran. I told her tonight, "I got jumped a few weeks ago and fucked someone up. I am going through shit with my headaches again and if someone breaks into my apartment while I am home... once they cross that threshold, they are mine! And at this point I might kill someone." I'm not joking either. I have had a few friends murdered the past few years, and I live in the gutter! Fuck with me here, one of us will die!!!! I have alot of reasons to live... some which just came to light the past week. I will not say no more until I know for sure the situation... but... can we say... possible offspring from the past? :o I want to thank everyone for supporting me, and lending an ear. That is all I need right now. I ask nothing of anyone but friendship and understanding. I've made it this far... and I'm not done yet!!! Tomorrow (today) I will be posting some very special pictures. Special because they are a first, and I have enlisted my niece as photographer (whom has taken some of my pics, and she is only 15 but has an eye). I want to show you my baby. Pics forthcoming. I also plan to do this head/art vision thing I perceived this morning. I just have to find my eyeliner!!! Guys with eyeliner! LMAO! Hey, I'm a musician!!!!!! LMAO! I'm okay. I am coping. I still have my fight. I thank everyone here for being here, and Helen - you of all people KNOW you don't have to worry about finding me and worrying. I blog on myspace frequently, and what I won't say here, I won't hold back there because... it's MYSPACE and if no one likes it... click to the next page! ;) and to Shadowdude and Bman... thanks for the chat the past couple of nights. Wolfbrother, Carl D PS. Did I mention I have gone almost 36 hours without an attack? I'm about to disco, but will play guitar instead. Wrote a killer new tune with my baby tonight and I loooooooooove it! |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Charlotte on Aug 20th, 2006, 2:49am Good to hear from you, and great that you got 36 hours. Thank you for checking in. I care what happens with you. I can't imagine a Helen Reddy/Liza Minelli duet. Charlotte |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Carl_D on Aug 20th, 2006, 2:52am Thanks Charlotte. :-* I can never leave this place because I love too many people here, and though I hate to admit it sometimes... of all places on the internet, this is my home. Peace, Carl D |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Charlotte on Aug 20th, 2006, 2:54am We love you too. We are all part of the lifeline. Charlotte |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Carl_D on Aug 20th, 2006, 2:57am on 08/20/06 at 02:49:00, Charlotte wrote:
Definitely more horrifying than anything in "House of 1'000 Corpses" or "The Devils Rejects" I shudder in sheer terror! Carl D |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by georgej on Aug 20th, 2006, 3:41am Glad you checked in, Carl, and good to hear from you. George |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by mynm156 on Aug 20th, 2006, 3:49am Hey Black Sheep, Sorry to hear your hurtin Brother. I'll send ya some positive vibes! Plug in that Guitar and let er RIP!! Also I will Pray for the Sorry Ass MoFo who does try to get in and U unleash ur anger with the beast! If he lives. Rock N Roll DREAMS my Brother Howard |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by zwibbs/Scott on Aug 20th, 2006, 3:51am That a boy Carl !! You sound better, and that's wonderful. Keep the faith. |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by sandie99 on Aug 20th, 2006, 3:57am I hope that those 36 hours are just the beginning! :) I hope that loads of more PF time is on the way... Hmm... I can imagine very well what will happen to those peeps who try to break into your appartment (if it would happen) while you're getting hit... that's pretty much the same what will happen to anybody who drinks my last Red Bull without my permission when I'm in cycle/just getting hit. Perhaps all CHers should have a sign "Never mind the dog or the gun, CH sufferer in cycle lives in here"... ;) BTW, I want to hear that new song if yours... :) Best wishes & PF days, Sanna |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by ivanov on Aug 20th, 2006, 9:03am Hang tough Carl---- http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a335/artivanov/wolftpsd.jpg PF days - Dan |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Yorky on Aug 20th, 2006, 10:21am good luck carl...keep up the pf time... ps could you post your new tune on here? |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Charlie on Aug 20th, 2006, 4:51pm Beat your "visitors" senseless and keep after the beast for a another 360 years. Good to hear from Carl and hang tough. http://www.subscribe.smileygenerator.us/all/albums/user_submitted/nunu.gif?SSImageQuality=Full Charlie |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by rickyshot on Aug 20th, 2006, 10:19pm ATTA Boy Carl A kid huh. Whos your daddy? ;;D You ever think of busting? |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Carl_D on Aug 20th, 2006, 11:54pm on 08/20/06 at 09:03:17, ivanov wrote:
Thanks Dan. Absolutely beautiful Wolf portrait!!! on 08/20/06 at 22:19:12, rickyshot wrote:
You mean Busking? Only place really to do that is in St Louis across the river. Once I get a car and a busking license I would like to give it a shot. So far, still no attacks since Friday. Knock on wood head. Also been up over 30 hours again and though I am tired... I'm wide awake, and have to be up at 6am. >:( Peace, Carl |
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Title: Re: I'm Okay (I Don't Promise But, I'm Okay) Post by Charlotte on Aug 21st, 2006, 12:03am I got a copy of wolfmother today. I'll be listening tomorrow. Turning in for the night - hope to sleep. G'nite. Charlotte ps My favorite is apple tree. |
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