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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> The Purina diet
        
(Message started by: chewy on Jul 30^th, 2006, 10:40pm)

Title: The Purina diet
Post by chewy on Jul 30^th, 2006, 10:40pm

I used to have a Labrador retriever, and I was buying a large bag of Purina
at Wal-Mart at the check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. (??)

On impulse, I told her no, that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I
probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in thehospital last time but I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in the intensive care ward with tubes coming out of
most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet...and that the way it works is
to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every
time you feel hungry. Since the food is nutritionally complete, I had decided I
was going on it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly an older guy who was behind her.

Horrified at my story of waking up in the hospital,, she asked if I'd been
poisoned.

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

The old guy staggered out the door holding his sides.

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by lilboo on Jul 30^th, 2006, 10:43pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by kevinpix on Jul 30^th, 2006, 10:44pm

Yep, sounds about right. Thanks for the laugh!!!

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by LeLimey on Jul 31^st, 2006, 5:28am

Explains alot Chewy, explains ALOT!

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by the_old_man on Jul 31^st, 2006, 7:39am

Thanx for the needed laugh, Chewy..(as I wipe the coffee off my keyboard and monitor)

The Old Man

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by BarbaraD on Jul 31^st, 2006, 7:50am

PLEEEZZZZ -- somebody put is flea collar back on him..... ;;D

LMAO

Hugs BD

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by deltadarlin on Jul 31^st, 2006, 7:52am

They're never too old to be neutered.

'darlin

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by alchemy on Jul 31^st, 2006, 8:48am

:-X :-X :-X

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by sandie99 on Jul 31^st, 2006, 11:53am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]
That was great. ;;D

Thanks!
Sanna

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by imnotbub on Jul 31^st, 2006, 2:21pm

on 07/30/06 at 22:40:36, chewy wrote:

I told her no; I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car hit me.

That was YOU! You owe me for a fender.

Steve

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by Carl_D on Jul 31^st, 2006, 2:24pm

Damn! What were you doing in the street?

If I could lick my balls...

I'd never have any reason to leave the house. 8)

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by Ghost on Jul 31^st, 2006, 2:34pm

Laughed so hard I spewed kibbles everywhere!

Mike

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by LadyLuv on Jul 31^st, 2006, 5:27pm

[smiley=crackup.gif][smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by Charlie on Jul 31^st, 2006, 7:30pm

http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/cheesyrotfm.gif http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/crackup.gif http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/laugh.gif http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/rofl smiley.gif

Charlie

Title: Re: The Purina diet
Post by Charlotte on Jul 31^st, 2006, 8:09pm

laughed so hard I cried.

Charlotte