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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Well I think I have finally been beaten!
        
(Message started by: mynm156 on Jul 28^th, 2006, 8:43pm)

Title: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by mynm156 on Jul 28^th, 2006, 8:43pm

My wife left me today I came home to a Dear John letter. My life has gone completly into the crapper sence I went chronic and while I was doing what I could to try and live with that pain I guess I neglected the rest of my life. She was there for as long as she could be but in the end I let the beast consume me and lost all that I ever wanted in a women and at this point could care less about going on though I know I am too weak to do anything STUPID. I never ever saw this coming and dont know what else there is to do. I have left messages for her that I am not going to just give up but I am affraid that it is too little too late.

I hope that your lives are going better.

Howard

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Linda_Howell on Jul 28^th, 2006, 8:54pm

Howard, while I know this condition of ours disrupts lives, there is something VERY wrong with someone who would leave like this without, as you said...you never saw it coming. That means she didn't talk to you or communicate what she was going through. Just left you high and dry so suddenly is well...wrong. Please don't blame this all on yourself.

Linda

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by maffumatt on Jul 28^th, 2006, 8:55pm

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Jonny on Jul 28^th, 2006, 9:07pm

Fuck me side ways!!!!

Thats a raw deal, Bro! >:(

If you still have my cell call me, if not PM me.

(Shadowlord....got some words here?)

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Redd715 on Jul 28^th, 2006, 9:13pm

I'm at a loss for words.

:(

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Jul 28^th, 2006, 9:25pm

Howard, I'm so sorry, I wish there was something that I could say or do, but that is wrong in so many ways. Take care of yourself.

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by kayarr on Jul 28^th, 2006, 9:41pm

That hurts....I am so sorry you are feeling like you are right now.

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by BMoneeTheMoneeMan on Jul 28^th, 2006, 9:48pm

So sorry to hear this, Bro. God, I wish there was something we could do.
One day at a time. Thats all you can do.
BMonee

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by E-Double on Jul 28^th, 2006, 9:53pm

Better days brother!!!

Things will be ok

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Melissa on Jul 28^th, 2006, 10:00pm

I am very sorry to hear this and I hope you two can get everything worked out Howard.

hugs,
mel

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by TxBasslady on Jul 28^th, 2006, 10:15pm

Bless your heart, Howard :'(

This has happened to more folks than you know. It's not the end of the world...and you can and will recover.

Just another example of how this pain affects so many others.

Don't shoulder all the blame....maybe there were other circumstances that you're not aware of.

I know we can't take her place...but we'll listen and help with what we can, sweetie.

Much love,

Jean

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by nani on Jul 28^th, 2006, 11:29pm

Aw, damn, Howard...I'm sorry. :'(
Please don't take on all the blame or guilt, OK?
Everyday will get a little easier...
hugs, nani

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Dragnlance on Jul 28^th, 2006, 11:46pm

Howard,

I ache for you.
I am praying something positive happens for you soon

Lance

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by alchemy on Jul 28^th, 2006, 11:54pm

man that sucks. check your pm's i'm a short drive away

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Cathi04 on Jul 28^th, 2006, 11:56pm

Oh, Man!
Out on a limb, here, but isnt there something in the vows about "in sickness and in health"......???
I know, we dont know all the circumstances, but I cannot imagine watching someone suffering in the clutches of the beast...and then leaving them to deal alone.
Howard, I am soo sorry...........
and I still hate the Beast >:(!

Cathi

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Dissident on Jul 29^th, 2006, 12:01am

As if you aren't suffering enough. Keep your head up bro. Your extended family will always be here for you through the good and bad.

BJ

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by georgej on Jul 29^th, 2006, 12:07am

It just plain sucks. Sorry to hear about this. Better days ahead, okay? Let us know how you are.

Best regards,

George

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by tanner on Jul 29^th, 2006, 1:23am

Howard :'( there are no words! I despise this beast for what it does to us and our families!

I cannot honestly say that I know the pain that you must be suffering right now, I know what a strong person you are and I feel that you will have to draw heavily on that inner strength and dray even more heavily on OUR combined strength and love to see you through this.

I am going to pm you my # and ask that you please use it!

I know that we have not yet met in person, but please lean my way anytime day or night. You are my Bro and my friend.

Much love and prayers/positive vibes coming from SC. I have unlimited long distance so call me and I will call you right back and be as chatty as you need for as long as you need.

Hang tough my friend! Tim

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by TxBasslady on Jul 29^th, 2006, 1:38am

on 07/29/06 at 01:23:50, tanner wrote:

I know that we have not yet met in person, but please lean my way anytime day or night. You are my Bro and my friend.
Much love and prayers/positive vibes coming from SC. I have unlimited long distance so call me and I will call you right back and be as chatty as you need for as long as you need.

Very nice, Tanner :-* I love this family! :'(

Jean

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by sandie99 on Jul 29^th, 2006, 3:31am

Howard,

I am so sorry... [smiley=hug.gif]
I recall very well what being chronic alone can do... I wish I could do more to help. All I can think of right now is sending loads of vibes, prayers and [smiley=hug.gif]s your way.

I do hope that lots of happy, bright days and events are on their way.

Best wishes,
Sanna

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Yorky on Jul 29^th, 2006, 5:15am

i am so sorry to read this howard,
no words i could give could help you
(you have enough to put up with being cronic)
but from the bottom of our hearts we hope and wish you a rapid change in your fortunes.
as i have found, thereis plenty of big hearts around here that do the upmost mankind could do to help us pull though......be strong..and good luck my friend

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by LeLimey on Jul 29^th, 2006, 6:07am

Oh hon I'm so sorry. :'(

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Jasmyn on Jul 29^th, 2006, 7:04am

I am sorry Howard.

It is not your fault that you have CH. This is a difficult condition to cope with, for us that have it and for our families and loved one's it is sometimes just too much.

Communication can go a long way but understanding and empathy comes from a much deeper place. We always hope and wish for people to comprehend fully but when they are just living with the results of this condition and not experiencing this condition firsthand themselves, it can become a tad more than what the normal person can handle.

As Cher's we have very strong and resourceful coping mechanisms, not to mention the support from fellow sufferers and dedicated supporters. It can be a lonely world out there for a spouse or family member that find it against character to join this group or just cope with trying to carry on with life as if CH does not exist.

Life and people do not always live up to our high expectations... and support, empathy and understanding for CH can be an extremely high expectation for even those who love us. It takes its toll, some way or the other.

Don't beat yourself up and I truly wish that it could have been different for you and I still have hope that things will sort itself out. Just remember like Jean and Tim said, we are here for you. We cannot fill that space but we have broad shoulders.

[smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by ShadowLord on Jul 29^th, 2006, 7:27am

I won't claim to know exactly what you're going through, but I can say, it sounds very similar to where I was a little over 5 months ago. I was lucky in that she decided to tell me to my face that she was leaving, but any way you slice it, it's still Hell. My best advice to you is to find someone you trust enough, and are friends enough with, to talk to especially in the really low times. Any time you have an impulse to do something really stupid, give your friend a call, write 'em an e-mail, send 'em a PM, etc... Anything you can to get your thoughts and/or feelings expressed in a rational manner. Your mind and your heart will be your own worse enemies right now, so be extremely careful. I know from going through my first divorce that it's not the end of the world, but I also know from my current divorce that it's very hard to believe, and at times will seem absolutely impossible.

I really hope that your wife just needs some time apart to get her head together... That she realizes the mistake she has made, and you two can work things out. Good luck!

PFDAN...................................................... ShadowLord

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Jackie on Jul 29^th, 2006, 10:38am

Howard,

I'm so sorry, Sweetie..... :(

As a wife/supporter (many years) of a chronic clusterhead I could say more....but, it's better for me to hush. :-X

You've got lots of friend and family here....lean on us. This bunch has pulled lots of folks through some really tough times.

Wishing you brighter days ahead.....they are there...I promise...

Jackie

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Sandy_C on Jul 29^th, 2006, 10:57am

Howard, I'm so sorry this is happening to you. You've already got a pretty full plate.

Keep trying to put one foot in front of the other and move forward. When things get a little hinky, you know we are all here. Post, PM, call any one of us when you are feeling down. We can't fill the void, but we can listen and support.

Sandy

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by mynm156 on Jul 29^th, 2006, 3:45pm

Its kind of funny I was so numb yesterday I just kinda wrote this thread and all I can say to all of you is THANK YOU!! You have all been just amazing and I can never express my heartfelt thanks to you all. Thank You DJ for making this place a solice for us all!!!

Howard

AKA
MYNM156

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Carl_D on Jul 29^th, 2006, 7:30pm

I'm really sorry to hear this. :'(

If there is one thing that is a commonality for most chronic CH'ers, it is loss.

However, you are not too weak to do something stupid... you're too strong! There isn't much that can teach you how to fight like dealing with chronic CH.

Stay strong,
Carl D

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by Charlie on Jul 29^th, 2006, 7:37pm

So sorry to hear this Howard.

All I can do is say that I hope things even out for you soon.

Keep ranting and posting and know that we feel for you.

Damn that seems a nasty thing to do to you. >:(

Charlie

Title: Re: Well I think I have finally been beaten!
Post by imnotbub on Jul 30^th, 2006, 12:26am

Words are hard to find for times like this. Hang in there Howard. Conversation and good listeners are only a click away.

Steve