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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Worried
        
(Message started by: lilboo on Jul 6^th, 2006, 6:26pm)

Title: Worried
Post by lilboo on Jul 6^th, 2006, 6:26pm

Well I figured I would update you guys on what's been happening with me and Dave, I know I haven't posted anything about my hubby since December.

He's the one that dances with the beast and this place has been a source of comfort for me for the past 7 or 8 years, I may not post alot but I'm here just about every day.

Dave's not doing to good, they consider him to have severe heart failure now - he had a heart attack in Nov. of 2004 and had a quadruple bypass.
The medication he's been on is not improving the quality of his life like they had hoped in fact he's getting worse, so they switched his meds.

I know I complained of him not working and Johnny thought I should kick him to the curb, believe me I was so tempted but I know there were reasons as to why he didn't work, it wasn't like he had to much of a choice, he's been getting weaker and weaker, just walking across the street wears him out.

Sure he was acting like a big turd after all this happened but it was a life altering experience that both of us have had to try and adapt to and it hasn't been easy, nothing in our lives have been easy we are always struggling.

I feel bad that I used to think he was putting on an act and being lazy, I know now he really isn't doing good, he looks awful, he's lost alot of weight and is tired all the time, he has no energy. He's only 48 and used to be active and healthy, now he acts like he's 80 or 90.

I'm having a hard time dealing with this and I noticed that I've been kinda distancing myself from him, I figure it may not be as bad then if something happens, he said the doctor told him he would be lucky if he had another five years left.

We were at the hospital again this past weekend his blood pressure dropped to 53 over 38 and he was getting dizzy, he seemed really out of it. This seems to be our home away from home lately.

He left for a camping trip today and will be back on Sunday - I really needed this break - I have been so worried - even today he seemed unsteady on his feet so now I can worry if he'll be ok there.

Thanks for always being here, you help in more ways than you know.

Kathy

Title: Re: Worried
Post by Mattrf on Jul 6^th, 2006, 6:46pm

Kathy I am so sorry for your hardship, my hart goes out to you and your husband, he is not much older then me and I can’t imagine going through that or watching someone I love go through it.
Don’t beet yourself up to much, I think it is very understandable to feel and act the way you have and do, things like this are the most difficult and everyone deals differently but frustration and anger are all part of copping especially in sever cases like yours. I am sure he knows that and would not trade you for the world.

Take care and I wish you some good sleep and a quite time and some relaxation while he is camping, maybe pamper yourself, get a massage or something, it would do you some good.

Matt

Title: Re: Worried
Post by kayarr on Jul 6^th, 2006, 7:01pm

I am so sorry this is happening to you guys. Please don't beat yourself up. Those feelings about him not being productive are normal. You didn't act out on them and now know the reason. Allow yourself to be human.
It is also normal to distance yourself to protect your heart. IMO love with everything you have.....There are new technologies for heart that are amazing! Find a good Dr. and be hopeful. Heart disease is one disease that has the research money to make a difference.

Title: Re: Worried
Post by LeLimey on Jul 7^th, 2006, 4:13am

Kathy don't beat yourself up.
You aren't a bad person, from what I can see you are a very good person. Living with someone who haschronic conditions is hard, really hard and you do need a break every now and then so hopefully you can take some time to pamper yourself while he is away and relax and enjoy it.
I hope so and we will always be here for you okay?
Helen xxx

Title: Re: Worried
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Jul 7^th, 2006, 8:04am

Kathy - sorry you and your hubby are having to deal with all of this.

Five years ago we were in the same spot as you are. My Bill had a massive heart attack and was essentially "brought back" by the doctors. Fortunately, it happened right in the emergency department so the response time was very quick.

Bill had many of the same symptoms as your husband - tired, dragged out, bp extremely low, dizzy spells, etc. It was so bad at one point that if he showered, he would be too tired to shave and would have to go lay down. He too was very depressed and just like you, I ran out of patience and was beginning to have some really unkind thoughts about the situation. After some trial and error - and a two week hospital stay - they found out that one drug he was on was causing the whole problem. The drug is Metropolol (no longer sure of the spelling of it). Once they got him off that drug and onto something else that did the same job, he was a new person. I hope you find that a medication switch will help your husband.

Please take time for yourself in all of this. It won't help anyone if you fall down too.

Hugs
Carol

Title: Re: Worried
Post by BarbaraD on Jul 7^th, 2006, 8:08am

Kathy,

My heart goes out to you (Been there - done that). The bad part is - it doesn't get better. You'll have good days and bad days in the years ahead. I went thru it for 8 years (my husband died in Oct of last year).

One piece of advice I'll give you -- make sure you take time for yourself. It's hard watching someone you love go downhill, so you need the time to yourself periodically. Even if it's only a bubble bath (close the door and refuse to answer anyone if they knock) take the time to do it. Get out of the house for a couple of hours now and then.

PM me if you need a shoulder. I do UNDERSTAND what you're going thru.

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Worried
Post by lilboo on Jul 7^th, 2006, 7:43pm

Thanks Matt, Kayarr and Helen, I really could use the rest it's just hard not to think about how he's doing although while I was at work today he called and left a message saying he's doing fine which was good to hear.

Hey Carol he was on Metoprolol and they had him stop taking it this past Tuesday, they also just started him on Coreg the same day and then told him to increase the dose from 1 at night to 2, which he did on Wednesday night. What a mistake that was he was out of it, I almost called an ambulance that night but he insisted through slurred speech that he was ok. So I told him while he was camping to only take 1 at night until he gets back and talk to his Doc. about what happened.

Hi Barbara, I remember you telling me about your husband, it really helps knowing someone who's been there. The day he left for his trip he almost fell while getting out of the car he had to hang onto the door. He doesn't want to admit to having a problem, he keeps saying he's ok, unless of course that's for my benifit.
I think our days of having a "normal" life are over, it's just hard adjusting to this new life, it's not one that I like but I guess it could be worse.

I used to have my best friend to confide in but she passed away so I am really glad to be able to come here and have people like you guys to talk with.

Thanks
Kathy

Title: Re: Worried
Post by Jonny on Jul 7^th, 2006, 8:19pm

on 07/06/06 at 18:26:18, lilboo wrote:

I know I complained of him not working and Johnny thought I should kick him to the curb

Sorry Kathy, but the way you write that post makes me look like I knew all that was happening when I told you that and it makes me look like a real dick because I didnt.

Lets have a look at what you wrote that I responded to just to clear it up, shall we?

on 12/19/05 at 21:28:15, lilboo wrote:

Life sucks, someone slashed the front tire on my car last night, as if I can afford to fix it, just another item to charge. And I can't get my husband off his butt to fix it, he won't do anything anymore except lay in bed. My son came down with chickenpox and he's 16, he had a very mild case when he was 2 so he was able to get it again. I finally got a job 3 months ago but my huibby's still unemployed due to his heart attack from Nov. of last year, he's the one with the clusters and his attitude just sucks lately. I can't even talk to him without some snide rude remark coming out his mouth. He is the only person that talks to me that way and I am sooooo tired of all of this shit. This isn't even the half of it. I always try to see the bright side of everything and most people wouldn't even know there was a problem at all. Everytime things start to look up something always has to happen to bring me right back down. Just needed to get some of this out of my system I'm getting ready to blow.

Im sorry your having a hard time, Kathy. I just had to clear this up for people that either dont know me or have yet to come here and read this.

Please feel free to PM me if there is anything that I can do, I mean that!!

...................................jonny

Title: Re: Worried
Post by lilboo on Jul 7^th, 2006, 8:36pm

I'm so sorry Jonny, I should have elaborated more on that, I was really having a hard time with everything back then, and I really did think he was just being lazy - now I know otherwise. And if I didn't know the situation and just read what I wrote, I would agree with you
100 % I would have said the same thing. Sorry about that. :-[

Kathy

Title: Re: Worried
Post by Jonny on Jul 7^th, 2006, 8:38pm

No prob, Sweetie....let me know if I can help any, ok? :-*

Title: Re: Worried
Post by lilboo on Jul 7^th, 2006, 8:39pm

Will do, Thanks ;)

Title: Re: Worried
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Jul 7^th, 2006, 9:50pm

Kathy - for what it's worth - Bill's cardiologist switched him from Metropolol to a med called Atenelol. It made a world of difference but it took a while to get the first drug right out of his system. Maybe it would be worth asking about - Bill takes only 25 mg. once a day.

He's an old fart ;) but still can walk 36 holes of a golf course without breaking a sweat and still shoots golf in the high 70's - low 80's so sometimes it's just case of finding the right med to do the trick.

As Barb said, and I say too - please PM if there's anything either of us can do to help. We've both been down this road before and we know the toll it can take on partners.

Title: Re: Worried
Post by lilboo on Jul 7^th, 2006, 10:06pm

Carol - I had to go look at his Med's to see if that was one of them, it doesn't look like he takes that but I'll have him check into it.

He takes 15 different pills in the morning and then again in the evening and just his luck he's been getting hit again, I don't think any of his friends have ever witnessed him having an attack.

Title: Re: Worried
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Jul 8^th, 2006, 7:16am

Kathy - Check your PM's.

Carol