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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Just need to vent
        
(Message started by: Peppermint on Jun 27^th, 2006, 5:52pm)

Title: Just need to vent
Post by Peppermint on Jun 27^th, 2006, 5:52pm

Damn. This has nothing to do with CH, but I hope its ok to vent for a sec here....

Months of hours of applications, faxing, letters, recommendations, I Q & academic testing, planning days and hours off of work without getting into beef.... and my daughter gets to the top of the waiting list for the top program she wanted to get into, and also the top school she wanted. SOCLOSE. I hope she's not disappointed, she might actually be relieved... the programs are very accelerated.

It's a lot of pressure nowadays - and if you have the money you can get into the best school, IF you fit the academic requirements. She was accepted also into a private day school - $20K a year for middle school. They're giving her a giant scholarship, but with the travel cost factored in, it jumps up to where I cannot afford it. IT"S MIDDLE SCHOOL for PETE's SAKE!!

She's a really bright child, very articulate - and I don't want her to get bored in a regular school like she was for the past year.

We went through so many hurdles together, but we did our damned best... so, I guess, whatever God wills huh...

It's hard to know how to do the right thing when you're a single mom, but sometimes the hard decisions are made for you.

Now I have to go home and tell her. *sigh*
:-/

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by LeLimey on Jun 27^th, 2006, 6:13pm

Its not much fun being a parent sometimes Peppy, and this is one of those times.
I'm sorry hon, you know we're thinking of you and you have our empathy
lots of love
Helen xxx

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by nani on Jun 27^th, 2006, 7:26pm

Aw, that bites, Pep. :( I know that there isn't much that is harder than disappointing our kids. Unfortunately, it's one of the ways we all learn to deal with it.
Have you looked at charter schools? There are some great public (charter) schools out there, and IMO some of them offer all the perks and quality of private education. (Do your homework, though...some are geared to high risk kids, and she doesn't need that).
When I was there, (back in the 1800s) there were some real quality public high schools, too. Bronx High School of Science, Music and Art in Manhattan, etc. Do your homework, and she'll do fine, no matter where she ends up.
hugs and love to both of you, nani

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Jonny on Jun 27^th, 2006, 8:55pm

With you as her Mom she will do fine no matter what, Babe!!

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by cootie on Jun 27^th, 2006, 9:07pm

I agree with the long hair tattoo'd guy.......long hair'd tatoo'd girl Pam ;)

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Jimi on Jun 27^th, 2006, 10:15pm

You did all you could Pep. I was bored in Middle School too. Didn't need to study etc. That changed when I hit HS. If it is a good and safe school, and they have accelerated classes, she will do fine there. Tell Erica I said hey and, who knows, there might be a reason that she did not go. :-/

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by andrewjb on Jun 27^th, 2006, 10:23pm

on 06/27/06 at 20:55:24, Jonny wrote:

With you as her Mom she will do fine no matter what, Babe!!

:),hear hear.love her to bits,she"lldo fine.reading is a great boredom buster. andrew

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by E-Double on Jun 27^th, 2006, 10:36pm

You have laid the foundation for a wonderful future regardless of what school she attands.

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Ree on Jun 27^th, 2006, 11:42pm

Hey Pep... we all would like to send our kids to great private schools.... I couldn't afford that either. Hell, I think my son Sean went in the service because he didn't think I could help with college. He always wanted to go to Notre Dame and wore a Notre Dame baseball cap when he was little. I would have mortgaged my house for him, but he chose the service. My boys have made me proud and they have done it all on their own. Sean has completed serving our country for 5 years in Millitary Intellegence.He is going to Mass Bay Communtity College for Criminal Justice and he tested high and is the first in line to become a police officer in our home town. He didn't go to a private school and he is very smart.
Scott was a prodigy... very smart... Every year he would say he wanted to go to Space Camp. I hated when they sent that pamplet in the mail. I didn't have the 300$ to send him and I always felt guilty. He also wanted to fly at 15 years old, and worked at McDonalds to pay for his flying lessons. Lessons were 75$ an hour. We would give him incentive for every A he got he would get an hour of flying. He was such a great kid. He got great grades. All by himself he was flying and by the time he finished high school he was a few hours away from his pilots license. He visualized what he wanted to do for himself and now his dream is fulfilled. He is flying for the US Cavalry. Every thing they have done, they have done for themselves. They appreciate every penny they make and have NEVER borrowed a DIME from me since they have been out on their own.
If you have to struggle a little in life it is those things that make you appreciate so much more. My daughter is spoiled a little, but I notice that its the things that she has to work for herself that she is most proud of.
Erika will be great. Get her involved in some stuff that she can do after school. Math groups, class newspaper, something that can make her shine. You're a great Mom. love Ree

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Margi on Jun 28^th, 2006, 9:54am

You know what though, Patti? Erica, whether you know it or not, is a scorekeeper. She's paid attention to how much you've put into this for her and even though she may be disappointed right now, years from now she'll look back on this and what will matter is your effort, not the result.

I was raised by a single mom (and I was one for awhile too until Mike came into our lives) and all the other kids in my school got these "Woods" jackets - but what did I get? I got a stupid David S Reid jacket, a knockoff. At the time, I was devastated. Now? It looked exactly the same as the Woods. And I know my mom went without to get me that jacket so I could fit in. I will always love her for all the sacrifices she made for me. Like I said, your daughter will give you big points for all that you've done for her already. Good job, Mom!

Hugs,
Margi

AND...I was supposed to skip Grade 3 and go onto Grade 4, but it would have come at a cost too and my mom couldn't afford it either. I was a bored and unchallenged student, but Mum made sure I had lots of stuff to do after school and on the weekends to keep me busy (piano, horses, volleyball, baseball, etc.) and that really helped me. Plus, the kids in the next grade were the really rotten group in our school, so I got to stay with my friends and we did well together. All things DO happen for a reason, Patti.

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Peppermint on Jun 28^th, 2006, 11:53am

Well. I told her. She didn't know whether to be down or relieved. Though she wasn't thrilled about doing schoolwork in the summer, she seemed disappointed. She wanted to do the accelerated program, simply because she wanted a new challenge. Daycamp is only fun but for the first 2 weeks (and it costs a mega fortune of $425 per 2 weeks. They raised it $100 bucks this year [smiley=worried.gif]!)

So she was disappointed to go back and tell her teacher that she only made it to the waiting list. He has high hopes for her, no matter what. She wants to be a lawyer and is deadset on Harvard for that, or a surgeon possibly. Those programs are on track to Ivy League. But Jimi , E...you met her, so you know its totally possible, even without the fast track. It's just the fear of what COULD happen if she's not going in the right direction, ya know?

At least I got a call for the Fresh Air Fund this morning, maybe she can go away for two weeks and it won't cost me, but for the clothes. That will give me a chance to figure out what else I need to do.

Oh and just for shits and giggles - lost my cell phone, my car finally bit the dust. And I haven't booked my flight to MilCon yet.

Thanks for all the encouragements though, it helps. Especially when you know you did everything you could. (Nani, I'm all researched out!)
Love youse guys.
Pep

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Jun 28^th, 2006, 12:07pm

Hey Pepper. I went through the same thing with my children. My son was on the waiting list at Regis in Manhattan. Didn't get in. ( Full Free Tuition). Four years later he gets accepted to the Coast Guard Academy---the toughest school to get into in the USA...Only three hundred cadets accepted each year. They are extremely selective and Chris was in. Brought him up in early July. He went through Swab Summer's torture with ease. School starts and he's number three in his class. My wife and I drive up to see the freshman graduate to sophomores., proud as hell. My son pulls me aside and tells me he wants out. At that very moment I thought seriously of drowning him in the bay next to the school. But it took me six months to calm down. He then goes to the Culinary Institute of America ( quite a swing ) and instead of getting a free college education we now had to pay 32,000.00/year. I sobbed for days. BUT he was so happy , now he is an accomplished chef and doing what he always wanted to do.....It will all work out in the end....Keep your head high.

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Mattrf on Jun 28^th, 2006, 2:20pm

I hear ya, we had to be on a waiting list to get our little girl in to a good school and it took three years to get her in the school. She will start this coming school year, it is a k – 8th grade school and she will be going into 3rd grade and will not have to change schools until she hits high school. The public schools in CA have much to be desired, at her last open house we where reading a book they put together where the all wrote things to each other and over half of the stuff you had to try and figure out what the heck they were trying to write, it was really bad, you could tell that English was most of there second language and the teachers teach to the medium so the smarter kids don’t get challenged like they should and get board so we are really glad for the change since she was in the top of her class and far ahead of the rest of the class. I wish I could say that it is because she is that smart but I think it is more telling of how bad the rest of her class is. Sad state of affairs in CA schools. And don’t get me started on our exit exam that so many can’t pass to get out of high school when it is 8th grade math and 9th grade English , I mean come on my older daughter passed it her freshman year!

Oops got carried away didn’t I. lol

Matt

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by JeffB on Jun 28^th, 2006, 6:27pm

Check to see if there are any IB programs available. My daughter has been in accelerated programs since she was 6. Her principle is leaving for a CU job and called me to let me know that some colleges will start prepping kids as early as Junior High, they get alot of material and can even shorten their time in college by 1 year. And if you can afford 20k for middle and are a single mom then all I have to say is " Hi I'm Jeff, I'm in my 30's, I like classic movies, long walks on the beach, puppies and I cried at the end of Old' Yeller".
I also drive a minivan! ;)

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Mattrf on Jun 28^th, 2006, 6:40pm

Thanks for the laugh Jeff.

My 17 year old did some IB classes, they are not for the weak at hart, they are very hard and require a lot of studding and they get a lot of homework. The kid has to be very dedicated and want to study and get good grades or it could be demoralizing to them. My daughter was in IB English and got a C the first semester, she pulled out so her GPA would look better and got an A+ in the normal English class and said it was easy compared to the IB class.
But Jeff is right if they take the IB program and do well they cut out there freshman year of collage so it will only take them three years to get a four year degree. The hardest part is getting a teenager to understand how important it is to study and get good grades, they don’t seem to get it until they are juniors and then they have to play catch-up to get into college. One less year of college to pay for sure would be nice though.

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by JeffB on Jun 28^th, 2006, 6:41pm

on 06/28/06 at 14:20:27, Mattrf wrote:

I went through the same thing in the bay area of San Jose. I, a single dad, had to buy paper, art supplies, pencils,erasers, glue, tape...etc. I bought about $650.00 worth of stuff every year we were in the bay for my daughters class.When we moved to Vegas I was shocked, they had the most advanced stuff in their computer classes. Clark county really has their stuff together!

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Mattrf on Jun 28^th, 2006, 6:46pm

I'm in Redwood City so not far from San Jose and I am in envy of a good school system, it sucks here for our kids.

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by JeffB on Jun 28^th, 2006, 6:52pm

on 06/28/06 at 18:46:48, Mattrf wrote:

I'm in Redwood City so not far from San Jose and I am in envy of a good school system, it sucks here for our kids.

RWC, great place!
It's a friggin shame that we live in the 4th or 5th biggest economy and some poor shlub like me had to buy school supplies for my kids class, I drove a beat up tow truck in those years and if wasn't for me being a bit creative getting peoples money my kid would have been doing homework on paper towels ha ha ha

Title: Re: Just need to vent
Post by Peppermint on Jun 30^th, 2006, 4:09pm

on 06/28/06 at 18:27:49, JeffB wrote:

Hiya there Jeff! I'm a tall, blond,leggy model in my 20's and love all those things you mentioned. And I drive a convertible.

[smiley=smartass2.gif]

Seriously, thanks for the laugh, you're a trip. It would be nice to pay that tuition. They say yes, I say no way Jose!

It's true what you said about the middle schools, they do start very early if you want to give the kid a good shot at a great school. Their school records read like a superstar resume.

The public school she got into is accelerated, however, at 33-35 kids per class, its a big population. Also, its run with the herd or be crushed at that school. But well, at this point, that's where she's going. But if I get a nice deal with the private school (as in, a very LARGE grant), then off she goes.

Thanks for all your feedback, its good to hear from other parents that have been through this as well.

:) Pep