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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> R. I. P.
        
(Message started by: Jonny on Jun 24^th, 2006, 11:53am)

Title: R. I. P.
Post by Jonny on Jun 24^th, 2006, 11:53am

OBITUARY
Common Sense Died 24/7/365 in America's Heart, USA

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape.

He will be remembered as having cultivated such valued lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the
worm and that life isn't always fair.

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting strategies (adults, not
kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place.

Reports of a six-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student only worsened his condition .

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; however they could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Finally, Common sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibility; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two unruly stepbrothers; My Rights First and I'm a Whiner.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by Sandy_C on Jun 24^th, 2006, 11:59am

Thanks Jonny. Good post.

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by medic1852 on Jun 24^th, 2006, 12:05pm

[smiley=frown.gif]May He Rest in Peace and soon be resurrected. [smiley=headbanger.gif]
Rodger

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by Richr8 on Jun 24^th, 2006, 12:06pm

When is this crap goiing to stop? You can't even be yourself anymore. Somehow, knowing life isn't fair just isn't enough.

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by pattik on Jun 24^th, 2006, 12:09pm

Call me an optimist--I think he will be reincarnated. ;)

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by john_d on Jun 24^th, 2006, 12:21pm

that was a brilliant read, thanks! ;;D

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by Richr8 on Jun 24^th, 2006, 12:23pm

on 06/24/06 at 12:09:34, pattik wrote:

Call me an optimist--I think he will be reincarnated. ;)

I maintain hope that you are correct.

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by ShadowLord on Jun 24^th, 2006, 12:30pm

I thouht common sense was only a folktale... Something for the old folks to talk about... Like the Jersey Devil... Too bad I never met the fella... Sounded like he was a good ol' chap.

PFDAN................................................................. ShadowLord

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by zwibbs/Scott on Jun 24^th, 2006, 12:42pm

on 06/24/06 at 12:30:49, ShadowLord wrote:

Tanner is the Jersey Devil !!

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by Charlie on Jun 24^th, 2006, 2:26pm

This makes even me long for some good old days when in my class, the teacher confiscated a switchblade and told the kid to go back to his seat. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/head smack.gif

Ah me.....

Thanks Jonny.

Title: Re: R. I. P.
Post by deltadarlin on Jun 25^th, 2006, 3:41pm

on 06/24/06 at 14:26:03, Charlie wrote:

And that student knew better than to try to defy the teacher. Remember when the paddling at school was nowhere near the whupping you got when you got home.

'darlin