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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Never Argue with a Woman 
        
(Message started by: minnie on May 26th, 2006, 12:04pm)
Title: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by minnie on May 26th, 2006, 12:04pm
Never Argue with a Woman
One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out.  She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her.
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading."
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Title: Re: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by Guiseppi on May 26th, 2006, 12:05pm
Arguing with a woman is like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a while, you realize they are enjoying it!

Guiseppi
Title: Re: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by sandie99 on May 26th, 2006, 12:09pm
[smiley=laugh.gif]
Thank you, Minnie! :)

Sanna
Title: Re: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by echo on May 26th, 2006, 12:11pm

on 05/26/06 at 12:05:26, Guiseppi wrote:
Arguing with a woman is like wrestling in the mud with a pig. After a while, you realize they are enjoying it!

Guiseppi


LMAO -- never heard that before.  Damn sure true!
Title: Re: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by Jasmyn on May 26th, 2006, 12:12pm
[smiley=laugh.gif]Oh Guiseppi, wise words... seems like you have some valuable life experience, good for you! ;)
Title: Re: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by minnie on May 26th, 2006, 12:12pm
>  Retirement does not have to be boring.
>
>
>       Dear Mrs. Toombs,
>       Over the past six months, your husband, Mr.
> Elbert Toombs has been
>       causing quite a commotion in our store. We
> cannot tolerate this type of
>       behavior and have considered banning the
> entire family from shopping in
>       any of our stores.
>
>       We have documented all incidents on our video
> surveillance equipment.
>       Three of our clerks are attending counseling
> from the trouble your
>       husband has caused. All complaints against
> Mr.Toombs have been compiled
>       and are listed below.
>
>       Mr. Wally Zimbrowski, Wal-Mart Complaint
> Department
>
>       MEMO
>
>       Re: Mr. Elbert Toombs - Complaints - 15 Things
> Mr. Toombs has done while
>       his spouse/partner is shopping:
>
>       1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and
> randomly put them in people's
>       carts when they weren't looking.
>
>       2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in
> Housewares to go off at 5-minute
>       intervals.
>
>       3 July 7: Made a trail of pineapple juice on
> the floor leading to the
>       rest rooms.
>
>       4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told
> her in an official tone,
>       'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what
> happened.
>
>       5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and
> asked to put a bag of M&M's
>       on lay away.
>
>       6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
> sign to a carpeted area.
>
>       7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
> department and told other
>       shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring
> pillows from the bedding
>       department.
>
>       8 September 23: When a clerk asks if they can
> help him, he begins to
>       cry and asks Why can't you people just leave
> me alone?'
>
>       9. October 4: Looked right into the security
> camera; used it as a
>       mirror, and picked his nose.
>
>       10. November 10: While handling guns in the
> hunting department, asked
>       the clerk if he knows where the
> antidepressants are.
>
>       11. December 3: Darted around the store
> suspiciously loudly humming the
>       "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
>       12. December 6: In the auto department,
> practiced his "Madonna look"
>       using different size funnels.
>
>       13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and
> when people browse through,
>       yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
>       14. December 21: When an announcement came
> over the loud speaker, he
>       assumes the fetal position and screams "NO!
> NO! It's those voices
>       again!!!!"
>
>       (And; last, but not least)
>
>       15. December 23: Went into a fitting room,
> shut the door and waited a
>       while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no
> toilet paper in here!"
Title: Re: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by Redd715 on May 26th, 2006, 12:22pm
http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b6db04b3127cce89c6c70b7eb600000016108AauGjFu2ZNh
Title: Re: Never Argue with a Woman
Post by LeLimey on May 26th, 2006, 12:26pm

on 05/26/06 at 12:12:49, minnie wrote:
>  Retirement does not have to be boring.
>
>
>       Dear Mrs. Toombs,
>       Over the past six months, your husband, Mr.
> Elbert Toombs has been
>       causing quite a commotion in our store. We
> cannot tolerate this type of
>       behavior and have considered banning the
> entire family from shopping in
>       any of our stores.
>
>       We have documented all incidents on our video
> surveillance equipment.
>       Three of our clerks are attending counseling
> from the trouble your
>       husband has caused. All complaints against
> Mr.Toombs have been compiled
>       and are listed below.
>
>       Mr. Wally Zimbrowski, Wal-Mart Complaint
> Department
>
>       MEMO
>
>       Re: Mr. Elbert Toombs - Complaints - 15 Things
> Mr. Toombs has done while
>       his spouse/partner is shopping:
>
>       1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and
> randomly put them in people's
>       carts when they weren't looking.
>
>       2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in
> Housewares to go off at 5-minute
>       intervals.
>
>       3 July 7: Made a trail of pineapple juice on
> the floor leading to the
>       rest rooms.
>
>       4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told
> her in an official tone,
>       'Code 3' in housewares..... and watched what
> happened.
>
>       5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and
> asked to put a bag of M&M's
>       on lay away.
>
>       6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR'
> sign to a carpeted area.
>
>       7. September 15: Set up a tent in the camping
> department and told other
>       shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring
> pillows from the bedding
>       department.
>
>       8 September 23: When a clerk asks if they can
> help him, he begins to
>       cry and asks Why can't you people just leave
> me alone?'
>
>       9. October 4: Looked right into the security
> camera; used it as a
>       mirror, and picked his nose.
>
>       10. November 10: While handling guns in the
> hunting department, asked
>       the clerk if he knows where the
> antidepressants are.
>
>       11. December 3: Darted around the store
> suspiciously loudly humming the
>       "Mission Impossible" theme.
>
>       12. December 6: In the auto department,
> practiced his "Madonna look"
>       using different size funnels.
>
>       13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and
> when people browse through,
>       yelled "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
>
>       14. December 21: When an announcement came
> over the loud speaker, he
>       assumes the fetal position and screams "NO!
> NO! It's those voices
>       again!!!!"
>
>       (And; last, but not least)
>
>       15. December 23: Went into a fitting room,
> shut the door and waited a
>       while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no
> toilet paper in here!"



That sounds like it should have been "Dear mrs Weeden"... where IS Frank anyway?!  ::)


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