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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Important Documents for Milwaukee
        
(Message started by: LeLimey on May 17^th, 2006, 4:53am)

Title: Important Documents for Milwaukee
Post by LeLimey on May 17^th, 2006, 4:53am

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS

Name of Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

I request permission for a leave of absence from the highest authority in my life for the following period:

Time of return:

Date:
Time of departure:
NOT to exceed:

Should permission be granted, I do solemnly swear to only visit the locations stated below, at the stated times. I agree to refrain from hitting on or flirting with other women. I shall not even speak to another female, except as expressly permitted in writing below.

I will not turn off my mobile after two pints, nor shall I consume above the allowed volume of alcohol without first phoning for a taxi AND calling you for a verbal waiver of said alcohol allowance. I understand that even if permission is granted to go out, my girlfriend/fiancé/ wife retains the right to be pissed off with me the following week for no valid reason whatsoever.

Amount of alcohol allowed (units) Beer Wine Liquor Total:

Locations to be visited :

Females with whom conversation is permitted :

IMPORTANT – STRIPPER CLAUSE: Not withstanding the female contact permitted above, I promise to refrain from coming within one hundred (100) feet of a stripper or exotic dancer. Violation of this Stripper Clause shall be grounds for immediate termination of the relationship.

I acknowledge my position in life. I know who wears the trousers in our relationship, and I agree it’s not me. I promise to abide by your rules & regulations. I understand that this is going to cost me a fortune in chocolates & flowers. You reserve the right to obtain and use my credit cards whenever you wish to do so. I hereby promise to take you on an unlimited shopping spree,
should I not return home by the approved time. On my way home, I will not pick a fight with any stranger, nor shall I conduct in depth discussions with the said entity. Upon my return home, I promise not to urinate anywhere other than in the toilet. In addition, I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.
I declare that to the best of my knowledge (of which I have none compared to my BETTER half),
the above information is correct.

Signed - Boyfriend/Fiancé/Husband:

Request is: APPROVED/DENIED

This decision is not negotiable. If approved, cut permission slip below and carry at all times.
………………………………………………………………………………………………

Permission for my boyfriend/fiancé/husband to be away for the following period of time:

Date:
Time of departure:
Time of return:
Signed – Girlfriend/Fiancé/Wife:
Location: From: To:
Location: From: To:
Location: From: To:

APPLICATION FOR A NIGHT OUT WITH THE GIRLS

Name of Girlfriend/Fiancé/Partner/Wife:

I’m going out.

Signed: (me) _____________________________

Title: Re: Important Documents for Milwaukee
Post by sandie99 on May 17^th, 2006, 5:00am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Helen, this is just brilliant! ;;D
Thanks!

Sanna

Title: Re: Important Documents for Milwauke
Post by maffumatt on May 17^th, 2006, 7:20am

" Hey Mary."

"What"?

"I'm going to the convention"

"OK"

Title: Re: Important Documents for Milwaukee
Post by chewy on May 17^th, 2006, 7:23am

Code:

I will refrain from waking you up, breathing my vile breath in your face, and attempting to breed like a (drunken) rabbit.

I'm out.