Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> What Would You Do In This Situation?
        
(Message started by: Carl_D on Mar 30^th, 2006, 6:04pm)

Title: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Carl_D on Mar 30^th, 2006, 6:04pm

I've missed the Dallas convention, and then missed DavCon this past January, and have been planning hell or high water to be in Milwauki, especially since I am in "REMISSION" and amping on overdrive! I am dying to see you all again and miss you dearly.

The client I care for, I'll just call him "J" here, doesn't get out much. He has a brain injury from being hit by a van, and has a hard time walking, his left arm is numb and he fumbles with it. He never gets out or does anything. I feel really bad for him, I know how rough I've had it - I cannot fathom what he has been through the past 7 years. He hasn't been to a concert since before his accident and all he does everyday all day is sit in his room and listen to the stereo. I do everything I can to keep him from being bored, and he has opened up to me alot with things.
OzzFest is coming this summer to St Louis, and he asked his mom and stepdad if I took could he go. They said as long as I was with J he could go.

Ozzfest is July 15th. :'(

He asked me yesterday if I would take him and I told him I'd think about it, realizing it is the weekend of the convention. He asked me again today and I told him I'd let him know tomorrow.

I'll be perfectly honest - there are so many of you newbies I am dying to meet, and long to be around other CH veterans again. But I think it would be a very selfish thing of me to come to convention knowing J is at home, in his room, in his recliner listening to music, bored and unable to do anything about it.

And so, as much as I hate to - I have to cancel coming to convention this year. :'( I think it would mean the world to J if I take him to Ozzfest. I know he'll have a blast, and it will get him out of the house for an entire day/night. I feel like I have to do this. Sorry to everyone who wanted me to be there this year, there will be other gatherings.

Peace,
Carl D - 43 days w/o CH

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Richr8 on Mar 30^th, 2006, 6:24pm

I'd look for another way to take care fo J and accommodate your needs as well. . Isn't there some other musical extravaganza coming up that would interest J? If you have plans already, which you do, ceratinly you can figure out some other way to satisfy J. If he has been housebound for 7 years, it seems that any excursion would be a start.

Good luck with this one,

Rich

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Jimi on Mar 30^th, 2006, 6:34pm

If he can find no one else to take him. And YOU feel that this is what you should do, then you should do it. Things can change though. If I were you, I would go ahead and make my reservations. You can always cancel at the last minute if something changes. It tells me a lot about your character that you are putting his needs first. We will miss not having you there, but I am proud of you.

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Linda_Howell on Mar 30^th, 2006, 8:14pm

Carl,

Why don't you skip ozzfest and bring J to the convention instead. . He won't be bored there, I assure you.

Linda

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by cootie on Mar 30^th, 2006, 8:49pm

Take him to the convention and tell him he is goin to meet Ozzie in person......just find jonny somea them Joh Lennon sun glasses and get him really drunk. Tell him everyone else is related to the band Pam 8)

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by BlueMeanie on Mar 30^th, 2006, 8:50pm

I vote bring the "J" man with you. It will be much better than listening to some old brokedick that lost ability to sing years ago. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Besides, if you already have a room, it wouldn't cost any more cash but another bus ticket. He would have MUCH more fun hanging with Clusterheads. YOU KNOW THAT. :o

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by BlueMeanie on Mar 30^th, 2006, 8:51pm

on 03/30/06 at 20:49:50, cootie wrote:

LMAO... now that's an idea. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by sandie99 on Mar 31^st, 2006, 3:46am

Carl,

do what feel the best thing to do. I agree with Jim: it tells a lot about you that you're planning to skip important thing to be with J. Many people would not even consider about it.

I wish you lots of PFdays,
Sanna

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by deltadarlin on Mar 31^st, 2006, 7:54am

Take him to Ozzfest. There will always be another convention you can attend. I think the happiness you will see on his face will offset the sadness of not making it to the convention.

Do what our heart and soul tell you to do.

darlin

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Melissa on Mar 31^st, 2006, 8:29am

on 03/31/06 at 07:54:26, deltadarlin wrote:

I ditto what Darlin said.

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by minnie on Mar 31^st, 2006, 9:00am

on 03/31/06 at 08:29:43, Melissa wrote:

I ditto what Darlin said.

---------------------------------------------------------------------
Ditto Darlin and Mel.taking him to convention is a good second.Heres been housebound and must have had oppurtunity to get out but he specifically asked for ozzfest so it must mean alot to him.Don't forget small outings between now and then.They would boost his spirit and let you go through the motions of helping him outside and in a crowd.You'll wanna make sure you can get him around ok in a crowd and if it's been a while for him he may have to get used to being out and in a crowd.just my [smiley=twocents.gif]but it feels so good to do something special for people and you will enjoy ozzfest too.
Minnie

Quote:

I vote bring the "J" man with you. It will be much better than listening to some old brokedick that lost ability to sing years ago.

LOL Blue I am not a ozzy fan either .

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Gena on Mar 31^st, 2006, 9:00am

Just remember that everything you do comes back to you. You might be putting yourself out by doing this, but then again just think of what you will get back. When you send good out in to the world some how, some way it always comes back to you when you need it the most.

Props to you for thinking of someone else first even if it is hard for you.

Gena

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by imnotbub on Mar 31^st, 2006, 10:01am

You take him to Ozzfest. When you have the oportunity to make that much difference in someones life you have to take it. If you don't, I think you will truly regret it. Just my [smiley=twocents.gif]

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Gator on Mar 31^st, 2006, 12:00pm

Carl, you are a hell of a man. I'm proud to know you, bro.

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Neekwa on Mar 31^st, 2006, 1:06pm

Honestly Carl I haven't the faintest of you or J personally, but I get the impression that this is somebody in their youth dealt a nightmarish hand which they will have to grapple with for a long time to come.

I would suggest you to take him to the concert. Having said that you will have spared yourself a lot of maybe unnecessary guilt, but no doubt guilt just the same.

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by fubar on Mar 31^st, 2006, 1:25pm

Carl,

Don't just take him to the concert. Take him and enjoy the hell out of it. Ozzie (for those who haven't seen him) is bat-shit crazy as a showman, and his shows usually have quite a few headliners (and headbangers ;) ) There'll be plenty of chances to meet clusterheads, but the concert sounds like a great thing to do for J and man you've earned a good time. Don't feel guilty about it, have fun.

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by gore2424 on Mar 31^st, 2006, 2:06pm

I would take "J" to where he wants to go CarlD. My best friend had a stroke and two brain bleeds and is on SSD and he is very overweight to top it off and I would do whatever he wanted to do I could always go to next convention and of course I am the lucky one only 6 blocks from the DavCon04,05&,06 in Iowa. But thats what I would do you are the one to make the last and finnal say so right . keep on pfing dude. Terry

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Karla on Mar 31^st, 2006, 5:00pm

Do what your heart leads you to do and don't look back on it. Sounds like you have a once in a lifetime opportunity to make a difference in someone elses life. I really respect you immensly for your desire to help someone else

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Donna_D. on Mar 31^st, 2006, 5:44pm

Carl,

I promise....next convention you can make it to...the drinks are on me.

I'm proud of you. You made the right decision.

DD

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by pfunk on Mar 31^st, 2006, 6:21pm

Carl-
We don't know each other personally, but like so many others on this site, I have learned alot about you by reading your posts. I say you are one hell of a man, as others have said, putting "J" before yourself here. I truly respect you for that. I too say take him to Ozzfest and enjoy the smile on his face as he watches. As much as I am looking forward to meeting each and every one of you at the convention, there will be another on next year and I look forward to seein you there. And let's face it Oz is getting a little old and who knows for how much longer he's gonna be doiing this? Hey- you might be seeing Oz on stage for his final performance. If Ozzfest does not work out for you, bring him to the conventiom, I'm confident he will not be bored.
Much love and many, many kudos to you bro. Rock on!!! [smiley=headbanger.gif]

Pfunk

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Jody on Mar 31^st, 2006, 6:43pm

I had a neighbor who has diabeties so bad he had amputations. All he wanted was for his sons to spend time w him and such. Well we became friends, and for him being over 70 we really had some great conversations. I took him to where he needed to go shopping ect, we even went to some elks meetings at his lodge, Now he has finally moved on and I really regrett that I couldn't spend more time w him but I do know that the time was well spent when we were doing things . It is your call , and I don't know you that well but I think you will find more inner pleasure and happiness over all by missing the convention and going with J. I haven't been to a convention yet so I can't compare that way but there will be another convention there may not be another oppurtunity do do something it sounds like J would really seriously enjoy.

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Charlie on Mar 31^st, 2006, 8:03pm

You indeed are a hell of a guy....a terrific one.

You'll be missed. I think you're gonna feel great doing this. If something changes, you can still do something else for him and yourself.

Charlie

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Carl_D on Apr 1^st, 2006, 12:12am

First off, thanks for being here for the advice - though I had made my decision last night even before work.

I asked J today who he is more excited to see, Ozzy or Disturbed. - He named the band I want to see - System of A Down.
You know, I have been dealt the back hand of a black hand - but I still have had life better than most. I look at this as a lifetime event for J. For me it will be another concert. I will miss you all much, and I EXPECT PICS - DETAILED PICS!!!!!!!! You all mean more than you will ever know to me, and I am forever in gratititude of your support seeing me through some of the wickedest of times.

I have a feeling you will see me again before I see all of you. I expect to have "Beyond the Shadow" finished editing by early summer. ;-)

Peace, and ROCK N FUCKING ROLL!
Carl D

http://i51.photobucket.com/albums/f359/Mack420Danger/ouch_puck.jpgFrom DavCon '05 - I won the puck cause I'm a lucky kimosuavee.

*edited because I am a dumbass. I was never AT DavCon 04. It was DavCon '05.
Maybe that is why I remember the 60's so well. I wasn't there.

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Carl_D on Apr 1^st, 2006, 12:30am

What I am bumming on is...
The next opportunity I will have to see another clusterhead is jan '07. That will be 2 years since I seen any CH family.
I don't even miss my own related brother that much!

HEY ROCK (hint hint) WE NEED TO HANG OUT SOON SINCE YOU ARE CLOSE-BY NOW (hint hint)

I tell you folk like Forrest told Jenny:
"I write you all the time!"

Peace,
Carl

PS - If I even mentioned to J about coming to a cluster headache convention - I can already tell you his response "Who's playing there? Metallica?"

Title: Re: What Would You Do In This Situation?
Post by Melissa on Apr 1^st, 2006, 6:45am

Glad you made a decision Carl. And don't forget, there are meet N greets all the time. Also, finding someone who lives somewhat near you to just have lunch with, well, it's just as special!

:)mel