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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye candy
        
(Message started by: medic1852 on Mar 20^th, 2006, 4:55pm)

Title: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye candy
Post by medic1852 on Mar 20^th, 2006, 4:55pm

Breast or Bottle?

A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in for the baby's first exam. The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight, and being a little concerned, asked if the baby was breast-fed or bottle-fed.

"Breast-fed" she replied.

"Well, strip down to your waist," the doctor ordered.

She did. He pinched her nipples, then pressed, kneaded, and rubbed both breasts for a while in a detailed examination. Motioning toher to get dressed, he said, "No wonder this baby is underweight.You don't have any milk."

"I know," she said, "I'm his Grandma, but I'm glad I came."

15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR MOM, YOUR DAUGHTERS OR GRANDDAUGHTERS, NIECES, AUNTS, GIRLFRIENDS, ETC..

1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.

2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.

5. Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

9. Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

15. Sadly, all men are created equal.

Rodger

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by Jimi on Mar 20^th, 2006, 5:08pm

[smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by alienspacebabe on Mar 20^th, 2006, 9:44pm

on 03/20/06 at 16:55:55, medic1852 wrote:

14. Remember a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

[smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by Langa on Mar 20^th, 2006, 10:18pm

Quote:

7. Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

These are great...thanks Ambulance Man!

Langa

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by tessa_c2 on Mar 20^th, 2006, 11:38pm

love the one about closeing the door when he leaves. have done it many time [smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by MJ on Mar 21^st, 2006, 12:58am

Traitor

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by Jasmyn on Mar 21^st, 2006, 1:05am

This one fascinated me for years, eventually I got an answer, thanks[smiley=crackup.gif]

12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by kimmiedawn81 on Mar 21^st, 2006, 7:59am

Thanks! Those are good! And it was posted by a man....which is even better! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by Dragnlance on Mar 21^st, 2006, 9:10am

Quote:

Traitor

agreed

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by medic1852 on Mar 21^st, 2006, 9:49am

on 03/21/06 at 00:58:33, MJ wrote:

Traitor

on 03/21/06 at 09:10:36, Dragnlance wrote:

agreed

Go read Sun Tzu, the art of war...Then we will talk Traitor..... ::)
Rodger

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by minnie on Mar 21^st, 2006, 10:07am

These are cute and it takes a strong man
to post jokes about men.You obviously have a sence of humor women like that.Insecurity is a turn-off.Maybe it hits the mark for some.. [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=oops.gif] [smiley=ohjez.gif]

Minnie who's gonna slowly back out of this thread [smiley=moonwiggle.gif] [smiley=curtain.gif] lol

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by Charlie on Mar 21^st, 2006, 12:59pm

http://www.kolobok.wrg.ru/smiles/he_and_she/girl_sigh.gif?SSImageQuality=Fullhttp://www.industreal.spb.ru/smiles/censor.gif?SSImageQuality=Full http://fool.exler.ru/sm/nail.gif?SSImageQuality=Full Happy now?

Charlie

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by john_d on Mar 21^st, 2006, 1:06pm

on 03/21/06 at 09:49:25, medic1852 wrote:

Go read Sun Tzu, the art of war...Then we will talk Traitor..... ::)
Rodger

I've read it, they should have added a bit of wisdom...

"If your enemy is a woman, they already know all this shit and more. Evade at all costs." lol ;)

Title: Re: Funny Stuff for the ladies...no it's not eye c
Post by sandie99 on Mar 21^st, 2006, 1:16pm

[smiley=spit.gif]Thank you so much! [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif]

Sanna ;)