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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Due to the times of political correctness...
        
(Message started by: Melissa on Mar 11^th, 2006, 6:52am)

Title: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by Melissa on Mar 11^th, 2006, 6:52am

...that are invading America!!

************************
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer
be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as... APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

Furthermore..

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" -
She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN."

2. She is not a "SCREAMER" or a "MOANER" -
She is "VOCALLY APPRECIATIVE."

3. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE."

4. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR
OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY."

5. She has not "BEEN AROUND" -
She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION."

6. She is not an "AIRHEAD" - She is "REALITY IMPAIRED."

7. She does not get "DRUNK" or "TIPSY" -
She gets "CHEMICALLY INCONVENIENCED."

8. She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

9. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE."

10. She is not a "TRAMP" - She is "SEXUALLY EXTROVERTED."

11. She does not have "MAJOR LEAGUE HOOTERS" -
She is "PECTORALLY SUPERIOR."

12. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER."

NOW..

HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:
************************************

1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" -
He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY."

2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION."

5. He is not a "CRADLE ROBBER" -
He prefers "GENERATIONAL DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS."

6. He does not get "FALLING-DOWN DRUNK" -
He becomes "ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL."

7. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -
He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

8. He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

9. He is not afraid of "COMMITMENT" -
He is "RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED."

10. He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by Jasmyn on Mar 11^th, 2006, 7:12am

Mel these are precious! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by BarbaraD on Mar 11^th, 2006, 8:14am

LMAO

;;D

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by medic1852 on Mar 11^th, 2006, 8:33am

on 03/11/06 at 06:52:39, Melissa wrote:

...that are invading America!!

************************
Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer
be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as... APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

I prefer, cracker...this rest is very funny.

Rodger

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by Charlie on Mar 11^th, 2006, 12:14pm

Thanks Mel. Good stuff.

There's a very old country song...I have no idea what it is but the part I remember is:

"....... Them hillbillies is Mountain Williams now."

Charlie

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by floridian on Mar 11^th, 2006, 4:31pm

on 03/11/06 at 08:33:51, medic1852 wrote:

>>Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer
be referred to as "HILLBILLIES." You must now refer to them as... APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

I prefer, cracker...this rest is very funny.

Rodger

Not many crackers in Tenensseee and Kentucky - the term 'cracker' means slave-driver ... them that cracks the whip. Hillbilly is a much better term.

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by maffumatt on Mar 11^th, 2006, 6:08pm

Thanks Melissa...........

11. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."
My Fav

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by sandie99 on Mar 12^th, 2006, 1:02pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] These are great, thanks, Mel! ;;D

Sanna

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by imnotbub on Mar 13^th, 2006, 10:29am

on 03/11/06 at 06:52:39, Melissa wrote:

She does not have "BREAST IMPLANTS" -
She is "MEDICALLY ENHANCED."

Better living through science ;;D

on 03/11/06 at 06:52:39, Melissa wrote:

He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN."

He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" -
He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS."

He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" -
He develops a case of "RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION."

He is not a "MALE CHAUVINIST PIG" - He has "SWINE EMPATHY."

He is not "HORNY" - He is "SEXUALLY FOCUSED."

It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -
It's "REAR CLEAVAGE."

Hey, I resemble those remarks. [smiley=mad.gif]

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by medic1852 on Mar 13^th, 2006, 10:35am

on 03/11/06 at 16:31:28, floridian wrote:

Not many crackers in Tenensseee and Kentucky - the term 'cracker' means slave-driver ... them that cracks the whip. Hillbilly is a much better term.

Shut up and sit on the beach!http://bioc.rice.edu/~heider/FUN/images/gifs/hillbilly.gif

Title: Re: Due to the times of political correctness...
Post by Sandy_C on Mar 13^th, 2006, 3:10pm

on 03/11/06 at 06:52:39, Melissa wrote:

Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer
be referred to as "HILLBILLIES."
You must now refer to them as... APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS.

I beg to differ. My daddy was born in the hills of Kentucky and he always told me that he was a Hillwilliam! So there!! ;)

Sandy