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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> They Walk Among Us
        
(Message started by: Jimi on Mar 7^th, 2006, 3:49pm)

Title: They Walk Among Us
Post by Jimi on Mar 7^th, 2006, 3:49pm

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason? "Too many deer were being hit by cars," and he didn't want them to cross there anymore. This one was from Kingman, Kansas.

IDIOT SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Alabama.

IDIOT CROSSING

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine, when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?" She was a probation officer in Wichita, Kansas.!

IDIOT TALKING

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often!" Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other! with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a bunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT WORKING

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself, and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriff's Office, no less.

IDIOT WORKING 2

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As! I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side." This was at the Chevy dealership in Rock Hill, South Carolina!

They walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by mynm156 on Mar 7^th, 2006, 3:52pm

You aint kiddin!

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by Dragnlance on Mar 7^th, 2006, 3:57pm

Quote:

They walk among us ... AND REPRODUCE

the correct term is BREED. They breed like rabbits.

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by BobG on Mar 7^th, 2006, 8:31pm

Quote:

This was at the Chevy dealership

That pretty much explains that one.

;;D

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by Jasmyn on Mar 8^th, 2006, 2:35am

on 03/07/06 at 15:49:56, Jimi wrote:

Thanks Jimi, changed it a bit and made it now applicable to the African continent ;;D

NO IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD

I live in a rural area. Our neighbors cannot call the local township administrative office as there is no such thing. We have Crocodile and Hippo sign-language on our road. It sounds like this: "EEeeee, Sugha... Hamba, Eeeeee!" and we don't want them to cross there anymore but we've got no choice, they have bigger teeth than us. This one was from lots of places close to water in Africa.

MANY IDIOTS SIGHTING

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "Yes" He smiled knowingly, nodded and let me go, saying: "The bribe will be 1000 000Mt." Happens all the time in Mozambique at any airport or border post.

IDIOTS DON'T CROSS THEY DIE

The stoplight on the corner don't have a buzz or electricity, so it's never safe to cross the street. I was crossing with a very intellectual co-pedestrian not of my country, when she asked if I knew what a buzzer was for. I explained that I don't know. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth, you're not from America?" She became blind.

IDIOTS TALKING

At a good-bye braai for a new coworker who was leaving the company due to "The Company's Heavy Turn-over Policy" our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often!" Everyone spoke at the same time. We couldn't look at each other! with that duck-the-headlights-I-like-my-shoes stare. This is called corporate Africa.

IDIOTS ARE ALWAYS WORKING

I work with several individuals who cannot even plug their power strips back into itself, because for the life of them they can't understand the mechanism of a plug and why a system would ever be able to turn on. Police in Africa are not technologically challenged, flush toilets are technology.

IDIOTS ARE NOT ALWAYS WORKING

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told that the car were stolen. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly taking apart and selling off the rest of the car parts. We couldn't watch further as they chased us down the street with AK47's. This was the only dealership with a mechanic.

We walk amongst each other ... AND REPRODUCTION = WEALTH!

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by sandie99 on Mar 8^th, 2006, 3:02am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]
Thanks, Jimi & Jasmyn! ;;D

Sanna

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Mar 8^th, 2006, 9:18am

I work in computer hardware/software support for a Library that has over 250 highly educated Librarians.

At my estimate, 99% of the calls from people who can't log in, asking if their password has been changed is resolved by asking them if they have checked the Caps Lock key on their system.

The usual reply to that question is 'Oh...... Never mind. It's OK now.'.

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by Drk^Angel on Mar 8^th, 2006, 12:04pm

EEB... Ya should've seen the fits my wife had with a keyboard that had a button to lock all the other buttons (Actually... I haven't found a good reason for that button). Once I explained to her about the button, she made me buy her a new keyboard.

PFDAN.......................................... Drk^Angel

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by echo on Mar 8^th, 2006, 12:16pm

on 03/08/06 at 12:04:43, Drk^Angel wrote:

.... (Actually... I haven't found a good reason for that button). ....
PFDAN.......................................... Drk^Angel

I use mine when to keep our damn cats from typing when they walk across or lay on the keyboard when I'm out of the room.

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by Ueli on Mar 8^th, 2006, 12:32pm

The first thing I do with a new keyboard: rip off the capsl ock key. I new have troubles with an accidentally engaged caps lock. ;;D

Title: Re: They Walk Among Us
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Mar 8^th, 2006, 12:48pm

If you know the right place and method. The entire keyboard can be remapped using the registry editor.

I've disabled several keys on some of our staff systems including the Caps Lock, Print Scrn, Pause.