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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Make me laugh ok I really need it!
        
(Message started by: Ghost on Mar 6^th, 2006, 2:50pm)

Title: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Ghost on Mar 6^th, 2006, 2:50pm

Three Rednecks were working on the BellSouth tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Jed says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of Budweiser. Bruce says, "Where did you get that, Jed?" "Steve's wife gave it to me," Jed replies. "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?" Well, not exactly", Jed says. "When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Steve's widow'." She said, "No, I'm not a widow." And I said, "I'll bet you a case of Budweiser you are".

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Ghost on Mar 6^th, 2006, 2:52pm

A woman, pregnant with triplets was walking down the street when a robber ran out of a bank and shot her three times in the stomach.
Luckily, she and the babies survived.
The surgeon decided to leave the bullets in because it was too risky to operate.

She gave birth to two healthy daughters and a healthy son.

All was fine for 16 years, and then one daughter walked into the room in tears. "What's wrong?" asked the mother. "I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out" replied the daughter. The mother told her it was okay and explained what happened 16 years before.

About a week later the second daughter walked into the room in tears. "Mom, I was taking a tinkle and this bullet came out." Again the mother told her not to worry and explained what happened 16 years before.

A week later her son walked into the room in tears. "It's okay" said the Mom, "I know what happened, you were taking a tinkle and a bullet came out."
"No," said the boy, "I was playing with myself and I shot the dog..."

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by nani on Mar 6^th, 2006, 3:03pm

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/nani36/lostpuppy.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/nani36/closemyeyes.jpg

;;D

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by nani on Mar 6^th, 2006, 3:06pm

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/nani36/1b.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v203/nani36/bigfeet.jpg

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Mar 6^th, 2006, 3:09pm

I've been in dire need of a laugh the last few weeks and that last one from Nani did it.

Thanks Nani. [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Ghost on Mar 6^th, 2006, 3:12pm

I am gonna laugh for weeks on that one!!!!
My wife will pester me as for why and I'll just laugh even harder! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by pattik on Mar 6^th, 2006, 3:17pm

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y71/northcolor/cartoons/mummy.jpg

It was an innocent mistake, but nevertheless, a moment later Maurice found himself receiving the full brunt of the mummy's wrath.

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by cootie on Mar 6^th, 2006, 5:22pm

I ran to town to get groceries today and stock up on stuff.....stopped off at my favorite Penny's store to check out what's left of there sale. When I checked out I signed my check "Pennys" Pam

I was so embarrassed......what a dumbass I can be !!!

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Barto on Mar 6^th, 2006, 8:19pm

A pirate walks into a bar and approaches the bartender. The bartender notices that the pirate is walking funny and it looks as if he has a steering wheel in his pants. The pirate orders a beer and sits down on the stool. The bartender comments "Hey, buddy. Is that a steering wheel in your pants?" "Yarrrr" the pirate replies. "It's driving me nuts!"

[smiley=smartass.gif]

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Jonny on Mar 6^th, 2006, 8:40pm

on 03/06/06 at 20:19:48, Barto wrote:

LMMFAO!!!!.....Now thats fuckin funny....LOL ;;D

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by doodles on Mar 6^th, 2006, 9:15pm

LOL ;;D ;;D Loved the dogs! [smiley=bow.gif]

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Kate in Oz on Mar 6^th, 2006, 9:26pm

A blonde, a Jew and a bear walk into a bar....

Bartender goes over and says "what is this.. some kind of joke?"

:P

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Jonny on Mar 6^th, 2006, 9:48pm

Whats the difference between a blonde and a washing machine?

A washing machine wont follow you around for two weeks after you drop a load in it ;;D

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by BobG on Mar 6^th, 2006, 9:57pm

Get one of these. It'll make ya smile 'til ya hurt.

http://users.novaone.net/photoman/Nats05/img_0614a.jpg

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by maffumatt on Mar 6^th, 2006, 11:07pm

http://www.kurilka.com/cards/tarzan.jpg
http://www.kurilka.com/cards/lubovnik.jpg
http://images.net3media.com/funnyfreepics/ballet.jpg
http://images.net3media.com/funnyfreepics/driving_test.jpg

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by Jasmyn on Mar 7^th, 2006, 12:14am

From SA Goaty:

BTW: a "spietkop" is a traffic officer

Spietkop...
Kempton Park spietkop pulls off a blonde in one of those new smart Sentra's.

"Marrem, can I see your drivers liscence please" says the
spietkop.

"What is a drivers liscence?" queries the blonde.

"Its dat little square fing" explained the spietkop, "Wif a
picture of you on it!!"

The blonde scratches through her handbag and comes across a square
make-up box, opens it, looks in the mirror, closes it and hands it over to the spietkop.

He opens it, looks in the mirror, hands it back to her and says

"It's OK Marrem, you can go...I didn't realise you is also a spietkop!"

;)

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by cootie on Mar 7^th, 2006, 12:35am

26 reasons why men have 2 dogs and not 2 wives: (by dog dazed Pam)

1 The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.

2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.

3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it.

4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's
name.

5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.

6. A dog's parents never visit.

7. Dogs do not hate their bodies.

8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.

9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in
your wallet or desk.

10. Dogs seldom outlive you.

11. Dogs can't talk.

12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go
24 hours a day.

13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk.

14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

15. Another man will seldom steal your dog.

16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died,
would you get another dog?"

17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.

18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without
calling you a pervert.

19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car.

20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting.

21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the
heater.

22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives.

23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep.

24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck.

25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman- Marcus.

26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.

Title: Re: Make me laugh ok I really need it!
Post by sandie99 on Mar 7^th, 2006, 2:55am

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]