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        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Some Serious Thought to Pounder .....
        
(Message started by: BarbaraD on Feb 14^th, 2006, 9:50pm)

Title: Some Serious Thought to Pounder .....
Post by BarbaraD on Feb 14^th, 2006, 9:50pm

For those who are snowed in, depressed already or just don't have a life..... Hugs BD

AMBIGUITY, HYPOCRISY AND PHILOSOPHY

1. Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.

2. One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

4. If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkey and apes?

5. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.

6. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.

7. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

8. If a deaf person swears, does his mother wash his hand with soap?

9. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
10. Is there another word for synonym?

11. Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"

12. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

13. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

14. Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

15. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

16. If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

17. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

18. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to speaking?

19. Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?

20. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

21. What was the best thing before sliced bread?

22. One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

23. Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

24. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

25. How is it possible to have a civil war?

26. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

27. If you ate both pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

28. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

29. Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have "S" in it?

30. Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids"instead of "assteroids"?

31. Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

32. Why is there an expiration date on sour cream?

33. If you spin an oriental man in a circle three times does he become disoriented

34. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

Title: Re: Some Serious Thought to Pounder .....
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Feb 14^th, 2006, 9:54pm

Ya got waaaayyyy too much time on your hands, my friend! Thanks for the giggles!

Hugs
Carol

Title: Re: Some Serious Thought to Pounder .....
Post by Jasmyn on Feb 15^th, 2006, 2:51am

Thanks Barb, I pondered and poundered seriously on these questions, as I have no life (although I'm still breathing ;;D) and I came up with only one answer:

"My philosophy is that life is an ever turning wheel of ambiguous hypocrisy, our survival depends on it, which makes this an absolute hypothetical statement." ;)

Title: Re: Some Serious Thought to Pounder .....
Post by BobG on Feb 15^th, 2006, 5:24am

Quote:

10. Is there another word for synonym?

What’s another name for a thesaurus?