Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        New Message Board Archives >> 2006 General Board Posts >> Women's Personal Ads
        
(Message started by: Jimi on Jan 24^th, 2006, 9:35am)

Title: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Jimi on Jan 24^th, 2006, 9:35am

For all my clusterhead buddies looking at personal ads by wimmens. ;;D

DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS:

40-ish...................................49

Adventurous........................Slept with everyone

Athletic...............................No tits

Average looking...................Ugly

Beautiful............................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile.................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally Secure..............On medication

Feminist.............................Fat

Free spirit...........................Junkie

Friendship first..................Former very *friendly* person

Fun...................................Annoying

New-Age...........................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned....................No BJs

Open-minded......................Desperate

Outgoing............................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate........................Sloppy drunk

Professional......................Bitch

Voluptuous.......................Very Fat

Large frame......................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate..................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want..

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = You're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = You better not

8. Do what you want = You will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think
about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you !

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay

Send this all the women and men who could use a good laugh

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by BobG on Jan 24^th, 2006, 11:58am

;;D

I can't comment= my wife looks in here when I'm not looking.

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Kevin_M on Jan 24^th, 2006, 12:31pm

From Jimi's "are you experienced" archives. ;)

Foxy lady................. let me stand next to your wallet.

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Guiseppi on Jan 24^th, 2006, 12:40pm

I for one disagreed with every single one of those!!!!!

(SHHH wife looking over my shoulder)..........

Guiseppi

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by LeLimey on Jan 24^th, 2006, 2:15pm

Showing myself up here as totally unfeminine 'cos I thought that was hilarious!

I'll get you Jimi... and your little dog too! :P

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by BarbaraD on Jan 24^th, 2006, 2:19pm

And how many nights does he get on the couch for this one????

Hugs BD

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Jimi on Jan 24^th, 2006, 2:22pm

You will? = I would like to have sex with you.

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by LeLimey on Jan 24^th, 2006, 2:25pm

No problem Jimi.. I'm up for sex with you! :o

Hallway sex that is.

Where we walk past each other and say "F*ck You" ;)

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Jimi on Jan 24^th, 2006, 2:26pm

You don't care............... >:(

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by LeLimey on Jan 24^th, 2006, 2:47pm

Oh I dooooooo!!! ::)

But how can I believe you when you say you love me when I know you've been a liar all your life?! ;)

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Jimi on Jan 24^th, 2006, 2:50pm

hmmmmmmmmm...............good point. :-/

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by sandie99 on Jan 24^th, 2006, 4:22pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Ghost on Jan 24^th, 2006, 4:41pm

See I can be good Ive stayed away from this thread! ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D ;;D

Dangit busted again! :-X

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Sandy_C on Jan 24^th, 2006, 5:18pm

on 01/24/06 at 11:58:40, BobG wrote:

;;D

I can't comment= my wife looks in here when I'm not looking.

Ditto! My husband checks in now and then - so
"no comment"

Sandy

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Linda_Howell on Jan 24^th, 2006, 6:38pm

why does Cops=Jimi=donuts come to my mind?

Ruthi and I need to have a very long chat next convention Jimi. ;)

Linda

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by PittsburghJoe on Jan 24^th, 2006, 10:41pm

I'll make my comment when Jimi finds shoes to match his outfit.

Joe

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Kirk on Jan 24^th, 2006, 10:45pm

on 01/24/06 at 22:41:16, PittsburghJoe wrote:

I'll make my comment when Jimi finds shoes to match his outfit.

Joe

[smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by purpleydog on Jan 24^th, 2006, 10:48pm

;;D

Jimi... Jimi... Jimi...

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by cootie on Jan 24^th, 2006, 10:48pm

biker boots go with everything......even thongs Pam 8)

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Jimi on Jan 24^th, 2006, 11:34pm

Pics.......

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by forgetfulnot on Jan 24^th, 2006, 11:50pm

My wife gets it when she wants it, I just set around and wonder when to take the Viagra. ::)

Disclaimer, the spelling in this post was verified by Google and MS Word.

Lee

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Dave_Emond on Jan 25^th, 2006, 1:47am

Sorry ... but Jimi ... I gotta ask ...

Just how much time do you spend reading the Personal Ads?
::)
Even scarier ... just how many have you responded to in order to have this much info?
[smiley=laugh.gif]

I'm a bit worried for you my friend! :-[

Dave

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Mr. Happy on Jan 25^th, 2006, 2:02am

on 01/24/06 at 23:50:20, forgetfulnot wrote:

My wife gets it when she wants it, I just set around and wonder when to take the Viagra.

Shit. THEY must be related, which means......

We're cousins.
RJ

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by ExplodingEyeBall on Jan 26^th, 2006, 2:15pm

You don't like to spend any time with me and the kids. = You A$$hole!!! You had the nerve to leave the room when I was busy with work I brought home and watching the food channel!!!

Your always out goofing off with your buddies. = You walked out of the house with a guitar in your hand.

Title: Re: Women's Personal Ads
Post by Jonny on Jan 27^th, 2006, 8:37pm

on 01/24/06 at 09:35:07, Jimi wrote:

Athletic...............................No tits

Fine by me....Im a thigh man ;;D