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        New Message Board Archives >> 2004-2005 Getting to Know Ya Posts >> Hello from me
        
(Message started by: John_T on Feb 13^th, 2005, 3:49am)

Title: Hello from me
Post by John_T on Feb 13^th, 2005, 3:49am

About me -
I'm episodic. I Hate most doctors, though mine is really good. Ok, don't hate the doc, just hate having to go there. Had first attack at 15 yrs. I'm 31 now and can still remember the details of that night. Didn't need a doc to tell me what it was, I looked it up in a medical book. I don't like meds, and won't take them unless I absolutely have to. Episodes have evolved from every few months to every two years now. Not complaining about that. I have O2 as an abortive, and if it don't work, I just bite the bullet. Individual HA's have become longer every cycle, and when one makes it to 3 hours I start to go insane. Sure do miss the half hour ones. I just got done with this cycle. I always end a cycle with a couple of days of fasting. Don't know why it takes me so long to get to that point - 2 weeks this time, but I plan to do it at the first sign of a cycle next time. I don't cut out coffee, and drink distilled water and take 1000 mg of vitamin C, and if I'm too hungry, I'll drink V8 or orange juice. Hot V8 tastes like vegatable soup...mmm. Oh ya, and an Epsom salt bath - helps detox the skin I've heard. I do this for 2 days, or until I start getting a mild HA . That my dance.
Here's a poem I wrote during this cycle -

LIVE IN REGRET
LIVE IN SORROW
THINK OF YESTERDAY
HOW IT MAKES TOMORROW
NO PEACE IN MY HEAD
IS IT SOMETHING I DID
IS THIS WHAT I DESERVE
FOR BEING WHO I AM
BORN IN SIN
LIVE IN SIN
COULD IT BE THAT IM THE DAMNED
I CRY O GOD
O LORD PLEASE HELP
YET STILL I SUFFER WITHIN MYSELF
NO ANSWER
NO PEACE
A BURNING HELL IN ME
I AM HERE
I AM REAL
I CANNOT CHANGE HOW I FEEL
I AM ANGER FURY DESTRUCTION
RAGE TO NO END
TILL I DESTROY THIS PRISON WITHIN
I FALL TO MY KNEES
NO STRENGTH LEFT WITHIN
A WHIMPERING BABY
HELPLESS AGAIN

~Wish you all PFD~

Title: Re: Hello from me
Post by lindysmom on Feb 13^th, 2005, 4:09pm

Like the poem...too bad it fits so well. Had to go to ER last night...have never gone before for treatment...hate going.

Title: Re: Hello from me
Post by John_T on Feb 13^th, 2005, 8:35pm

Quote:

Like the poem

Thanks lindysmom
Sorry to hear your in pain :(

JohnT

Title: Re: Hello from me
Post by TonyG1 on Feb 13^th, 2005, 9:09pm

Welcome John T -- Sorry you're here for the CH reason !! Like you I hate to take meds and go to the doc. I got my first CH when I was about 21, I'm 39 now.... took a long time for me to go to the doc -- just officially diagnosed about a month ago. Up until last month, I dealt as best I could with OTC meds.

I like the poem -- terrible that it is so fitting for us clusterheads. In the same respect, we all understand what you're saying and for good or bad, there is strength in numbers.

Wishing you PFDANs as well!

Tony

BTW - Saw you "What If ..." post on the other thread... got to say I got a good laugh from it. My answer to that question was YES if there was a guarantee of no more CHs ... :-X

Title: Re: Hello from me
Post by John_T on Feb 15^th, 2005, 6:30pm

Thanks Tony. Feels good to talk to people who understand.

John

Title: Re: Hello from me
Post by ghost62 on Feb 15^th, 2005, 6:36pm

Gotta love the poem but hate the pain ... hang in there

Mike