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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Headlines for the year 2029
        
(Message started by: notseinfeld on Sep 21^st, 2005, 9:53pm)

Title: Headlines for the year 2029
Post by notseinfeld on Sep 21^st, 2005, 9:53pm

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

White minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Baby conceived naturally - - scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise is the key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientist s have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Title: Re: Headlines for the year 2029
Post by sandie99 on Sep 24^th, 2005, 1:44pm

Oh that was great! ;;D

Title: Re: Headlines for the year 2029
Post by Ronny on Sep 24^th, 2005, 3:49pm

on 09/21/05 at 21:53:14, notseinfeld wrote:

Florida voters still having trouble with voting
machines.

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]