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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> It's cheaper than a nursing home
        
(Message started by: BobG on Aug 30^th, 2005, 4:02pm)

Title: It's cheaper than a nursing home
Post by BobG on Aug 30^th, 2005, 4:02pm

There will be no nursing home in my future........When I get old and feeble, I am going to get on a Cruise Ship.

The average cost for a nursing home is $200 per day.
I have checked on reservations for a cruise and I can get a long term discount and senior discount price of $135 per day.

That leaves $65 a day for:
1. Gratuities which will only be $10 per day.
2. I will have as many as 10 meals a day if I can waddle to the restaurant, or I can have room service (which means I can have breakfast in bed every day of the week).
3. The ship has as many as three swimming pools, a workout room, free washers and dryers, and shows every night.
4. They have free toothpaste and razors, and free soap and shampoo.
5. They will even treat you like a customer, not a patient. An extra $5 worth of tips will have the entire staff scrambling to help you.
6. I will get to meet new people every 7 or 14 days.
7. T.V. broken? Light bulb needs changing? Need to have the mattress replaced? No Problem! They will fix everything and apologize for your inconvenience
8. Clean sheets and towels every day, and you don't even have to ask for them.
9. If you fall in the nursing home and break a hip you are on Medicare. If you fall and break a hip on the ship they will upgrade you to a suite for the rest of your life.
Now hold on for the best!

Do you want to see South America, the Panama Canal, Tahiti, Australia, New Zealand, Asia, or name where you want to go?
There will be a ship ready to go there. So don't look for me in a nursing home, just call me shore to ship.

P.S. And don't forget, when you die, they can just dump you over the side - at no charge.

P.S P.S. If you are a cluster sufferer you can jump overboard any time you want.

Title: Re: It's cheaper than a nursing home
Post by pattik on Aug 30^th, 2005, 4:06pm

;;DWhere do I sign up? ;;D I can picture it now..."Very senior cruises" with themes.

Title: Re: It's cheaper than a nursing home
Post by Jimmy B. on Aug 30^th, 2005, 4:20pm

Now if only they accepted medi-care & Social Security co-pays...I'd be on my way... ;;D

Title: Re: It's cheaper than a nursing home
Post by sandie99 on Aug 31^st, 2005, 2:07am

;;D