Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Old ?
        
(Message started by: Redneck on Aug 21^st, 2005, 6:34pm)

Title: Old ?
Post by Redneck on Aug 21^st, 2005, 6:34pm

Greetings from an "older than dirt" friend.

"Hey Dad," one of my kids asked the other day, "What was your favorite fast food when you were growing up?"

"We didn't have fast food when I was growing up," I informed him. "All the food was slow."

"C'mon, seriously. Where did you eat?"

"It was a place called 'at home,'" I explained. "Grandma cooked every day and when Grandpa got home from work, we sat down together at the dining room table, and if I didn't like what she put on my plate I was allowed to sit there until I did like it."

By this time, the kid was laughing so hard I was afraid he was going to suffer serious internal damage,so I didn't tell him the part about how I had to have permission to leave the table. But here are some other things I would have told him about my childhood if I figured his system could have handled it:
Some parents NEVER owned their own house, wore Levis, set foot on a golf course, traveled out of the country or had a credit card. In their later years they had something called a revolving charge card. The card was good only at Sears Roebuck. Actually, it was Sears AND Roebuck. Either way, there is no Roebuck anymore. Maybe he died.

My parents never drove me to soccer practice. This was mostly because we never had heard of soccer. I had a bicycle that weighed probably 50 pounds,and only had one speed, (slow). We didn't have a television in our house until I was 11, but my grandparents had one before that. It was, of course, black and white, but they bought a piece of colored plastic to cover the screen. The top third was blue, like the sky, and the bottom third was green, like grass. The middle third was red. It was perfect for programs that had scenes of fire trucks riding across someone's lawn on a sunny day Some people had a lens taped to the front of the TV to make the picture look larger.

I was 13 before I tasted my first pizza, it was called "pizza pie." When I bit into it, I burned the roof of my mouth and the cheese slid off, swung down, plastered itself against! my chin and burned that, too. It's still the best pizza I ever had.

We didn't have a car until I was 15. Before that, the only car in our family was my grandfather's Ford. He called it a "machine."

I never had a telephone! in my room. The only phone in the house was in the living room and it was on a party line. Before you could dial, you had to listen and make sure some people you didn't know weren't already using the line.

Pizzas were not delivered to our home. But milk was.

All newspapers were delivered by boys and all boys delivered newspapers. I delivered a newspaper, six days a week. It cost 7 cents a paper, of which I got to keep 2 cents. I had to get up at 4 AM every morning. On Saturday, I had to collect the 42 cents from my customers. My favorite customers were the ones who gave me 50 cents and told me to keep the change. My least favorite customers were the ones who seeme! d to nev er be home on collection day.

Movie stars kissed with their mouths shut. At least, they did in the movies. Touching someone else's tongue with yours was called French kissing and they didn't do that in movies. I don't know what they did in French movies. French movies were dirty and we weren't allowed to see them.

If you grew up in a generation before there was fast food, you may want to share some of these memories with your children or grandchildren. Just don't blame me if they bust a gut laughing.

Growing up isn't what it used to be, is it?

! MEMORIES from a friend:

My Dad is cleaning out my grandmother's house (she died in December) and he brought me an old Royal Crown Cola bottle. In the bottle top was a stopper with a bunch of holes in it. I knew immediately what it was, but my daughter had no idea. She thought they had tried to make it ! a salt shaker or something. I knew it as the bottle that sat on the en d of the ironing board to "sprinkle" clothes with because we didn't have steam irons. Man, I am old.

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by Redneck on Aug 21^st, 2005, 6:38pm

How many do you remember?

Head lights dimmer switches on the floor.
Ignition switches on the dashboard.
Heaters mounted on the inside of the fire wall.
Real ice boxes.
Pant leg clips! for bicycles without chain guards.
Soldering irons you heat on a gas burner.
Using hand signals for cars without turn signals< /U>

Older Than Dirt Quiz: Count all the ones that you remembe! r not the ones you were told about. Ratings at the bottom.

1. Blackjack chewing gum
2. Wax Coke-shaped bottles with colored sugar water!
3. Candy cigarettes
4. Soda pop machines that dispensed glass bottles
5. Coffee shops or diners with tableside juke boxes
6. Home milk delivery in glass bottles with cardboard stoppers
7. Party lines
8. Newsreels before the movie
9. P.F. Flyers
10. Butch wax
11. Telephone numbers with a word prefix (OLive-6933)
12. Peashooters
13. Howdy Doody
14. 45 RPM records
15. S&H Green Stamps
16 Hi-fi's
17. Metal ice trays with lever
18. Mimeograph paper
19. Blue flashbulb
20. Packards
21. Roller skate keys
22. Cork popguns
23. Drive-ins
24. Studebakers
25. Wash tub wringers

If you! remembered 0-5 = You're still young
If you remembered 6-10 = You are getting older
If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age
If you remembered 16-25 = You're older than dirt!

I might be older than dirt but those memories are the best part of my life.

Don't forget to pass this along!!
Especially to all your really OLD friends....

Feeling old yet? [smiley=laugh.gif]
I only remember 23 of them, lived to far in the country for milk delivery, we got it straight from the cow. Still remember the first day of school and they gave me that nasty pasturized milk!

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by sassy_lady on Aug 21^st, 2005, 7:36pm

I got some S&H Green Stamps found them in my grandma's stuff when she die. she was born 4-2-1913
die 5-21-2004 Great woman miss her!!

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by Redd715 on Aug 21^st, 2005, 7:45pm

If you remembered 11-15 = Don't tell your age

:-X

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by AussieBrian on Aug 22^nd, 2005, 12:25am

I remember when sky-diving was dangerous and sex was safe.

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by BobG on Aug 22^nd, 2005, 4:19am

I’m older than dirt. Can remember all 25.

And flat tops with or without the DA.

12. Peashooters
LMAO! A couple weeks ago we were in a coffee shop. Our 6 year old and 3 year grandsons were with us. Renon showed the kids how to make a worm from the paper wrapper off a straw. You know, push it down real wrinkled and tight and then put drops of coke on it and watch it wiggle like a worm. They were amazed! Just so Grandpa wouldn’t look stupid I showed them how to make a spitball and shoot it through a straw. I won. My trick was cooler than Grandma’s. You should have seen all the little gooey spitballs on the window when we left. Grandma didn’t laugh.

14. 45 RPM records
And 78’s. And 4 track tapes.

20. Packards
And Nash and Hudson and for you younger folks, Edsel

24. Studebakers
And Desotos

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by Frank_W on Aug 22^nd, 2005, 8:00am

Hoi, crap!! I remembered 15 of 'em! [smiley=huh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by Sandy_C on Aug 22^nd, 2005, 2:46pm

24 out of 25. What's Butch Wax???

Every morning, my Grandfather and I would eat a bowl of corn flakes cereal, with milk that was delivered at our door, and a dish of prunes. He said prunes kept him strong, so I ate them because I wanted be stronglike Pop Pop. I now know exactly what the prunes did for Pop Pop? ;;D

I remember my Grandmother making pies and I would help her roll the dough and then I would get the trimmings from the crust, and she always kept a little of the fruit filling, or whatever she was making left over for me. She had a little tiny pie tin for me, so I re-rolled the dough and used my little pie tin, and made my own pie. It was for my Pop Pop though, nobody else.

Grandma's washing machine consisted of a big tub, which we had to fill with hot water, then we scrubbed the clothes on a washboard, rinsed them in another tub, and then put them through the wringer. Grandma was the first lady on her block to have a wringer and she was so proud. I turned the crank for her.

I remember sliding down the laundry chute from the second floor bedroom level to the basement level, landing in a huge wooden cage filled with the dirty clothes and linens. It's a wonder I'm still alive.

I remember dancing to the music on the radio. Sitting on Pop Pop's lap and watching the Ed Sullivan show, in black and white. Getting "switches" on my legs by Pop Pop because I ventured into the street. I don't know cried harder, Pop Pop or me.

God, Thanks for bringing back memories. I could go on for decades. What a nice break this is from the usual day to day garbage.

Love You You've made my day.

Sandy , [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by deltadarlin on Aug 23^rd, 2005, 7:42am

on 08/22/05 at 14:46:09, Sandy_C wrote:

24 out of 25. What's Butch Wax???

Sandy , [smiley=hug.gif]

It was a type of hair wax that made the hair stand straight up.

on 08/22/05 at 14:46:09, Sandy_C wrote:

Every morning, my Grandfather and I would eat a bowl of corn flakes cereal, with milk that was delivered at our door, and a dish of prunes. He said prunes kept him strong, so I ate them because I wanted be stronglike Pop Pop. I now know exactly what the prunes did for Pop Pop? ;;D

Sandy , [smiley=hug.gif]

Mine was eating sardines out of the can with my granddaddy (won't touch the buggers now).

on 08/22/05 at 14:46:09, Sandy_C wrote:

I remember my Grandmother making pies and I would help her roll the dough and then I would get the trimmings from the crust, and she always kept a little of the fruit filling, or whatever she was making left over for me. She had a little tiny pie tin for me, so I re-rolled the dough and used my little pie tin, and made my own pie.
Sandy , [smiley=hug.gif]

Used to do the same thing. We lived next door to my Grandmother and every Saturday was her bake day. I usually spent most of the day standing in a chair helping her bake. had my own little set of tin pans too.

And other things for the oldies here-

16. What did all really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?

a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you "high"
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupils name on the top, to avoid failure

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?

a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajewea
c. Princess Moonshadow

Anyone remember being able to take a quarter to the store and buying not only a Nehi, but candy and chips too?

Whyen going to the bank and making deposits in a savings account enabled you to accumulate a set of dishes or silverware?

When riding in the back of a pickup truck on a summer evening was a *treat* and not against the law (how did we survive all those dangerous things?).

When you went to get an icecream cone, there wasn't anything as *dipped* but only soft serve and it'd have so much cream in it, it would be yellow?

Got more, but *senioritis* is kicking in and my rememory is beginning to falter.

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by Sandy_C on Aug 23^rd, 2005, 8:11am

on 08/23/05 at 07:42:50, deltadarlin wrote:

And other things for the oldies here-

16. What did all really savvy students do when mimeographed tests were handed out in school?

a. Immediately sniffed the purple ink, as this was believed to get you "high"
b. Made paper airplanes to see who could sail theirs out the window
c. Wrote another pupils name on the top, to avoid failure

15. What was the name of the Indian Princess on the Howdy Doody show?

a. Princess Summerfallwinterspring
b. Princess Sacajewea
c. Princess Moonshadow

Ooooh! Ooooh! (she says with hand raised)
[smiley=sayyes.gif]

Both answers are A!

Do I get a gold star?

;;D

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by Redneck on Aug 23^rd, 2005, 6:14pm

Butch wax was also called "goose grease" go figger ;;D

Title: Re: Old ?
Post by BobG on Aug 24^th, 2005, 8:34am

on 08/23/05 at 07:42:50, deltadarlin wrote:

When you went to get an icecream cone, there wasn't anything as *dipped* but only soft serve and it'd have so much cream in it, it would be yellow?

We had a drug store that served 'dipped' ice cream at the soda fountain.
My father smoked Camel's. My older brother and I took turns walking to the drug store with my father to get his 'smokes'. The Camel's cost 21 cents a pack. Inside the cellophane wrapper were 4 pennies, change for a quarter. We got to have the 4 pennies and only had to add a penny of our own to get a Coke (in a real glass) or a single dip ice cream cone. Sometimes we’d save the four pennies and the next time we got 4 more we could add 2 cents and get a comic book.