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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Valentines, Redneck Style
        
(Message started by: sassy_lady on Aug 7^th, 2005, 10:39pm)

Title: Valentines, Redneck Style
Post by sassy_lady on Aug 7^th, 2005, 10:39pm

Kudzu is green, my dog's name is Blue
And I'm so lucky to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk, a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass, which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales, but I luv you anyway.

You're as graceful as okry, jist a-dancin' in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as SunDrop right out of the can.

You have all yore teeth, for which I am proud;
I hold my head high when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions, when you shave yore armpits,
Well, I'm in hawg heaven, I'm plumb outta my wits.

And speakin' of wits, you've got plenty fer shore.
'Cuz you married me back in '74.

Still them fellers at work they all want to know,
What I did to deserve such a purty, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape, yo're there fer yore man,
To patch up life's troubles and stick 'em in the can.

Yo're as strong as a four-wheeler racin' through the mud,
Yet fragile as that sanger named Naomi Judd.

Yo're as cute as a junebug a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like no far ant upon which I oft' tread.

Cut from the best pattern like a flannel shirt of plaid,
You sparked up my life like a Rattletrap shad.

When you hold me real tight like a padded gunrack,
My life is complete; Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection, like the best vinyl sidin'.
Despite all the years, yore age, it keeps hidin'.

And when you get old like a '57 Chevy,
Won't put you on blocks and let grass grow up heavy.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie, with a RC cold drank,
We go together like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart; It's romantic that way.

Some men git roses on that special day,
From the cooler at Kroger. "That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever," they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey, these will not do.
For you are too special, you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift, without taste nor odour,
Better than diamonds, it's a new trollin' motor.

Title: Re: Valentines, Redneck Style
Post by Sandy_C on Aug 8^th, 2005, 1:32pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Cute - but I'm from the south, and if my hubby gives me a trollin motor - he'll be bass bait!

Title: Re: Valentines, Redneck Style
Post by sassy_lady on Aug 8^th, 2005, 1:34pm

on 08/08/05 at 13:32:35, Sandy_C wrote:

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Cute - but I'm from the south, and if my hubby gives me a trollin motor - he'll be bass bait!

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Valentines, Redneck Style
Post by burnt-toast on Aug 11^th, 2005, 2:57am

Nothing says I love you like a trollin' motor with a bow on it. Some gals just don't seem to know what thought something like that takes. Fo Gigure. ;)

Tom

Title: Re: Valentines, Redneck Style
Post by Redneck on Aug 12^th, 2005, 4:38pm

Thank I'll run rat out and buy the little darlin' a trolling moter, damn then I gotta buy me a boat so she kin take me fishin ;;D

Better yet she kin buy me a boat to take her fishin in ;) A new trolling motor needs to be used, an I gots a battery charged!