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Title: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 13th, 2005, 4:10pm Why are women and dogshit alike? The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.....LMMFAO ;;D Commence flaming....LMFAO [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by vietvet2tours on May 13th, 2005, 4:22pm Why do women have legs? Cuz if they didn't they'd leave a trail like a snail. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 13th, 2005, 5:13pm The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 13th, 2005, 5:16pm on 05/13/05 at 17:13:05, pattik wrote:
You got me there....that one ALWAYS works on me.....LMMFAO ;;D TOUCHE' PATTI ;) |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 13th, 2005, 5:46pm on 05/13/05 at 16:22:44, vietvet2tours wrote:
What do men and pantyhose have in common? They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch! |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 13th, 2005, 5:51pm on 05/13/05 at 17:46:50, pattik wrote:
Im guilty of that, BUT...thats not my fault ;) |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by mynm156 on May 13th, 2005, 7:35pm on 05/13/05 at 17:46:50, pattik wrote:
Some make fun of my 3 inches but I like it that wide. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 13th, 2005, 7:50pm on 05/13/05 at 19:35:38, mynm156 wrote:
Spitting on the monitor......LMMFAO ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 13th, 2005, 7:51pm on 05/13/05 at 19:35:38, mynm156 wrote:
How can you tell when a man is well hung? When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 13th, 2005, 7:56pm on 05/13/05 at 19:51:41, pattik wrote:
Just ask jonny to email you a picture ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by LeLimey on May 14th, 2005, 4:00am What do you call a man who has had 95% of his brain removed? A widower ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 14th, 2005, 5:13am on 05/13/05 at 17:13:05, pattik wrote:
[smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 14th, 2005, 5:16am on 05/14/05 at 04:00:04, LeLimey wrote:
[smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Langa on May 14th, 2005, 8:22am on 05/13/05 at 17:46:50, pattik wrote:
;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 14th, 2005, 10:19am Thanks for jumping in, ladies. I thought I had to hold up the fort by myself ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Langa on May 14th, 2005, 11:12am I'm proud to call you my sister...you did an outstanding job! Langa |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 14th, 2005, 11:35am Thanks, sis, and I have plenty of ammo still in storage. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by LeLimey on May 14th, 2005, 11:50am Hey Patti... fire at will! and jonny and rog and don and.. and.. and.. ALL OF THEM!! ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 14th, 2005, 11:53am How do men exercise on the beach? By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by LeLimey on May 14th, 2005, 12:12pm Q: What is the definition of nothing? A: When a man with an erection walks into a brick wall and injures....... his nose. Q How are husbands like lawn mowers? A They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. QWhat do you call the useless piece of skin on the end of a man's penis? A His body. Q What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name? A You didn't hold the pillow down long enough. Q Why can't men get mad cow disease? A Because they're all pigs. Q Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? A To knock the penises off the smart ones. AND...... In fairness to Jonny... the answer to his dog shit joke. Q Why are married women fatter than single women? A Single women come home, look at whats in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, look at whats in the bed and go to the fridge... |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 14th, 2005, 12:15pm [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] I'm dyin' here, Helen ;;D I think the guys have surrendered..... [smiley=huh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 14th, 2005, 1:02pm OMG! Helen, those were ossom! [smiley=laugh.gif] http://members.iinet.net.au/~vroncol/Smiley_gifs/rotfl.gif [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 14th, 2005, 3:25pm Patti, I see you were caught on tape last night ;;D http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3dd26b3127cce9fbec11f086200000016108AZM2bNk5bM6 Langa, I see the dating world has been good to you....hence...the delivery ;;D http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b3dd26b3127cce9fbec11a895700000016108AZM2bNk5bM6 Sandie, you should know better than to bribe your way on a plane near the Xray machine ;;D http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b4dc35b3127cce9fbec1ab378000000016108AZM2bNk5bM6 NEXT! ;;D OPPs...I almost forgot that Limey chick.....talk about a butt head ;;D http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b4ce27b3127cce9fbec662128c00000016108AZM2bNk5bM6 |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by medic1852 on May 14th, 2005, 4:33pm I found these and thought they may be helpful in explaining some of the ladies attitudes around here... Langa's Desk top for her computer... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a63747600000016108Act3Llszbt9 What every woman here needs to attend...no exceptions.. so you all need to make appointments.. http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a78f55d00000016108Act3Llszbt9 Nani's idea of carpool...go figure..must be the kudzu.. http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a30f51500000016108Act3Llszbt9 This proves that women should not be so selfish and that all men are so considerate of their mate..We are all such givers.... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a5f744a00000016108Act3Llszbt9 This small fender bender was casued by a female who dropped her mascare while looking in the mirror trying to figure if her shoes matched her purse...it was rumored the culpret was sandi99 not sure but the police in their car are still looking for her the cop car is the next photo..... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a41745400000016108Act3Llszbt9 http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a21743400000016108Act3Llszbt9 If you read the print on the police car it will clear up why Sandie is the prime suspect..I dont want to start any rumors...but. Not to be outdone by the other ladies Helen tried her hand a paralell parking.... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a4f745a00000016108Act3Llszbt9... Then there is the picture of 2 of the CH conventions....Boy how times for the ladies change... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a07741200000016108Act3Llszbt9 |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by medic1852 on May 14th, 2005, 4:49pm The perfect woman...gives a new meaning to direct deposit... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a15740000000016108Act3Llszbt9 Sure honey I will leave the seat up for you so you dont have to look before you sit...which makes entirely too much sense.... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a1b740e00000010108Act3Llszbt9 Many of the ladies here at CH.com have been seen frequenting this establishment...things that make you go hmmmm... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87af8f5dd00000016108Act3Llszbt9 But then they all saw the parking sign and left... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87ae4f5c100000016108Act3Llszbt9 The real reason there has not been an yearly CH cruise is the last time the ladies were on ship they all went to the starbord side of the ship to see the cute little dolphins the captian was speaking of.. http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a4af56f00000016108Act3Llszbt9 While in memphis at the CH convention the girls went to the zoo and quickly found out why you should not feed the animals...poor Langa... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a2d743800000016108Act3Llszbt9 Outside the Doctors office the girls all decided to try and save a little money... http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c87a2cf50900000016108Act3Llszbt9 Glad to be such a help on clearing things up...Love you all.... ::) Rodger.. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 14th, 2005, 4:51pm on 05/14/05 at 15:25:31, Jonny wrote:
Now I know who got my MRI scan photos...! ;;D My doc sure didn't send them to my address like he promised... ::) |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by medic1852 on May 14th, 2005, 4:54pm on 05/14/05 at 11:50:56, LeLimey wrote:
Even though I had lots of time on my hands today...I was going to stay out of it..but hey thanks for the invite Helen.. :-* |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by medic1852 on May 14th, 2005, 5:03pm What happened ladies...you all got quiet... ::) |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 14th, 2005, 5:11pm on 05/14/05 at 15:25:31, Jonny wrote:
;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by LeLimey on May 14th, 2005, 5:21pm You know what boys (and I say that because I HAVE read the stories on the toilet walls! ;) ) You have proved my theory. THANK YOU!! For a long time I've known that all women are different and unique and wonderful and the fact that you have gone to so much time, effort and trouble on our behalf proves that indisputably What I also now know is that all men ARE the same. You just have different faces so we can tell you apart! :-* |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Langa on May 14th, 2005, 5:30pm on 05/14/05 at 17:21:18, LeLimey wrote:
;;D ;;D ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 14th, 2005, 5:35pm on 05/14/05 at 17:21:18, LeLimey wrote:
...like their commonality regarding home maintenance... How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by medic1852 on May 14th, 2005, 5:35pm on 05/14/05 at 17:21:18, LeLimey wrote:
on 05/14/05 at 17:30:45, Langa wrote:
Weak |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by medic1852 on May 14th, 2005, 5:42pm on 05/14/05 at 17:35:16, pattik wrote:
Stop moving around me your making me dizzy...I want it my way and I want it now...so stop the damn revolving....ROFLMAO |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Langa on May 14th, 2005, 5:44pm on 05/14/05 at 17:42:57, medic1852 wrote:
Now THAT was weak... ::) Langa |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 14th, 2005, 6:00pm on 05/13/05 at 19:56:49, Jonny wrote:
Here is what he emailed me....how jonny washes his dishes :-X http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y71/northcolor/Jonneyinthetub.jpg |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by PittsburghJoe on May 14th, 2005, 6:19pm Q: You know why it's called PMS? A: Because "Mad Cow Disease" was already taken. Love ya ladies! |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by medic1852 on May 14th, 2005, 7:02pm http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c9ee8cd5af00000016108Act3Llszbt9 http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c9ef1495af00000016108Act3Llszbt9 http://im1.shutterfly.com/procserv/47b5db35b3127cce91c9ef03148800000016108Act3Llszbt9 Is it time for me to be nice.... ::) |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by maffumatt on May 14th, 2005, 7:30pm http://joecartoon.atomfilms.com/pages/greenfields/1/ http://joecartoon.atomfilms.com/pages/greenfields/2/ http://joecartoon.atomfilms.com/pages/greenfields/4/ |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by vietvet2tours on May 14th, 2005, 7:36pm http://www.slycraft.com/surrender-5.jpg |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by LeLimey on May 15th, 2005, 4:35am on 05/14/05 at 19:36:11, vietvet2tours wrote:
nuff said! I can be gracious in victory ::) ::) ::) ::) |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 15th, 2005, 6:06am Here's one for my boys.... ;;D http://del.signson54.com/images/no%20donut.jpg |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 15th, 2005, 6:20am Man's physical A 70-year-old man goes to the doctor's for a physical. The doctor runs some tests and says to the man, ''Well, everything seems to be in top condition physically, but what about mentally? How is your connection with God?'' And the man says, ''Oh me and God? We're tight. We have a real bond, he's good to me. Every night when I have to get up to go to the bathroom, he turns on the light for me, and then, when I leave, he turns it back off.'' Well, upon hearing this the doctor was astonished. He called the man's wife and said, ''I'd like to speak to you about your husband's connection with God. He claims that every night when he needs to use the restroom, God turns on the light for him and turns it off for him again when he leaves. Is this true?'' And she says, ''That idiot, he's been peeing in the refrigerator!'' |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 15th, 2005, 6:28am Reasons Santa Can't Be a Man Men can't pack a bag. Men wouldn't be caught dead wearing red velvet. Men would feel their masculinity is threatened... having to be seen with all those elves. Men don't answer their mail. Men would refuse to allow their physique to be described, even in jest, as anything remotely resembling a "bowlful of jelly." Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them. Having to do the "Ho, Ho, Ho," thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women. Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment. Perfect Man, Perfect Woman There was a perfect man and a perfect woman. They met each other at a perfect party. They dated for two perfect years. They had the perfect wedding and the perfect honeymoon. They had two perfect children. One day the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving in there perfect car, they saw Santa Claus at the side of the road, being the perfect people they were they picked him up, because they didn''t want to make their perfect children (who were at home with their perfect babysitter) mad because it was close to Chritmas. Well as the perfect man and the perfect woman were driving with Santa Claus, somehow they got into an accident. Two people died and 1 lived. Who died and who lived? The perfect woman because the perfect man and Santa Claus aren''t real. Three Buttons A gentleman on a flight to Atlanta had a serious problem. He had made several attempts to get into the men’s restroom, but found it to be occupied. The stewardess noticed that he was walking funny, taking small steps, and had a look of pain and anxiety on his face. “Sir,” she said, “the ladies’ restroom is unoccupied. You may use it if you promise not to touch any of the buttons on the wall.” He was about to pop, and would have promised anything, so he agreed to her terms. The relief was pure joy, and as he sat there, savoring the feeling he noticed the buttons he had promised not to touch. Three white buttons were identified by the letters: “WW”, “WA”, and “PP”, and there was one red button labeled “ATR.” Who would really know if he touched them? He couldn’t just sit there and resist a challenge like this, so he pushed the “WW” button. Warm water was sprayed gently upon his bottom. Such a nice feeling came over him. The men’s restroom didn’t have nice things like this. Anticipating even greater pleasure, he pressed the “WA” button. Warm air replaced the warm water, wafting and swirling about, gently drying his underside. He knew what he was going to do when the warm air stopped, and without hesitation, he pressed the “PP” button. A large powder puff caressed his bottom, adding a fragrant scent of spring flowers to his unbelievable pleasure. The ladies’ room was far more than a restroom; it was a place of tender, loving pleasure! He could hardly wait for the powder puff to quit. When it did, he pushed what he knew was going to be the ultimate joy. He knew he was in the hospital as soon as he opened his eyes. A nurse was staring down at him with a smirk on her face. ”What happened? How did I get here? The last thing I remember, I was in the ladies’ restroom on a flight to Atlanta!” “You pushed one too many buttons,” replied the nurse, as her smirk expanded to a grin. “That last button marked “ATR” is an automatic tampon remover. Your penis is under your pillow.” |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 15th, 2005, 6:53am Jonny as a kid...? ;;D http://www.edu.fi/projektit/tammi/vesi/IMAGES/lippu.jpg |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by maffumatt on May 15th, 2005, 7:34am The CH community, where the men are men and the women are too. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by JeffB on May 20th, 2005, 7:12pm Why do women have 2 holes "down there" so close together? so you can cary them like a six pack. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 23rd, 2005, 5:06pm My Neuro told me this one last Friday. Why is your job completely opposite from your wife? Because after five years your job still sucks ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by LeLimey on May 23rd, 2005, 5:22pm "mummy mummy why are we pushing the car into the river?" "sssh... you'll wake up daddy" |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Langa on May 23rd, 2005, 6:20pm on 05/23/05 at 17:22:16, LeLimey wrote:
[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by maffumatt on May 23rd, 2005, 6:28pm "mummy mummy why are we pushing the car into the river?" "sssh... you'll wake up daddy" poor bastard all he wanted was alittle sleep. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Jonny on May 23rd, 2005, 7:43pm Why does a woman use her mouth on me? Cause I told the fuckin stupid bitch too ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by sandie99 on May 24th, 2005, 11:25am [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on May 24th, 2005, 12:00pm How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part. ;;D |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by maffumatt on May 24th, 2005, 7:34pm Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark. Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it. |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by Frank_W on Jun 2nd, 2005, 9:29am How do you set the time on a woman's watch? You don't! The stove already has a clock on it! Why do women genetically have smaller feet? So they can stand closer to the stove. I have more, but they are pretty awful. LOL |
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Title: Re: Im in total flame gear :) Post by pattik on Jun 2nd, 2005, 9:55am on 06/02/05 at 09:29:53, Frank_W wrote:
[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]..along the same lines-- How do men define a "50/50" relationship? We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle. |
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