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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Take my spouse
        
(Message started by: sandie99 on May 7^th, 2005, 1:54am)

Title: Take my spouse
Post by sandie99 on May 7^th, 2005, 1:54am

* The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ''What's on the TV?'' I said, ''Dust!''

* In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God nor man has rested.

* My wife and I are inseparable. In fact, last week it took four state troopers and a dog.

* What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

* A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said ''I haven't eaten anything in four days.'' She looked at him and said, ''God, I wish I had your willpower.''

* Do you know the punishment for bigamy? Two mothers-in-law.

* A man inserted an ad in the classified: ''Wife wanted.'' Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ''You can have mine.''

* The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.

* First guy (proudly): ''My wife's an angel!'' Second guy: ''You're lucky, mine's still alive.''

* How do most men define marriage? An expensive way to get laundry done for free.

* Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

* If you want your wife to listen and pay undivided attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.

* Then there was a man who said, ''I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; and then it was too late.''

* A little boy asked his father, ''Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'' And the father replied, ''I don't know son, I'm still paying.''

* The bumper sticker read: ''I lost 250 pounds in one day, I divorced her.''

* Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Title: Re: Take my spouse
Post by BobG on May 7^th, 2005, 10:10am

Quote:

What is the difference between a dog and a fox? About 5 drinks.

So true. And the next morning she turns back into a dog.
It's called the FM Contingency.
::)

Title: Re: Take my spouse
Post by mynm156 on May 7^th, 2005, 5:29pm

[smiley=crackup.gif]