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Title: Quantas Gripe Sheet Post by kimh on Apr 27th, 2005, 1:02pm >After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe >>sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The >>mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, >>and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. >>Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. >> >>Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' >>pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an >>S) by maintenance engineers. >> >>By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an >>accident. .... Enjoy! >> >>P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. >> >>S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. >> >> >> >>P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough. >> >>S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft. >> >> >>P: Something loose in cockpit. >> >>S: Something tightened in cockpit. >> >> >>P: Dead bugs on windshield. >> >>S: Live bugs on back-order. >> >> >>P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute >>descent. >> >>S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. >> >> >>P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. >> >>S: Evidence removed. >> >> >>P: DME volume unbelievably loud. >> >>S: DME volume set to more believable level. >> >> >>P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. >> >>S: That's what they're for. >> >> >>P: IFF inoperative. >> >>S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. >> >> >>P: Suspected crack in windshield. >> >>S: Suspect you're right. >> >> >>P: Number 3 engine missing. >> >>S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. >> >> >>P: Aircraft handles funny. >> >>S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. >> >> >>P: Target radar hums. >> >>S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics. >> >> >>P: Mouse in cockpit. >> >>S: Cat installed. >> >> >>P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget >>pounding on something with a hammer. >> >>S: Took hammer away from midget :D |
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Title: Re: Quantas Gripe Sheet Post by sandie99 on Apr 27th, 2005, 3:31pm [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Quantas Gripe Sheet Post by Ronny on Apr 27th, 2005, 5:23pm [smiley=crackup.gif] It's a good thing i dont fly often. |
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Title: Re: Quantas Gripe Sheet Post by mynm156 on Apr 27th, 2005, 10:44pm [smiley=spit.gif] [smiley=crackup.gif] |
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