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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Keeping Up With Innocence....
        
(Message started by: daffyswacky on Apr 16^th, 2005, 11:43am)

Title: Keeping Up With Innocence....
Post by daffyswacky on Apr 16^th, 2005, 11:43am

>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Jesus' Dad's Name.....
>
>A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?"
>
>One child answered, "Mary."
>
>The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?"
>
>A little kid said, "Verge."
>
>Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that?"
>
>The kid said, "Well, you know they are always talking about Verge n' Mary.''
>
>***********
>KIDS IN CHURCH
>
>3-year-old, Reese: "Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
>Amen."
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A little boy was overheard praying: "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy,
>don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time jes like I am."
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments.
>
>They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could
>tell her what it was.....
>
>Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted,
>
>"Thou shall not take the covers off the neighbor's wife."
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>After the christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way
>home in the back seat of the car.
>
>His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy
>replied.....
>
>"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted
>to stay with you guys...!!!"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>I had been teaching my three-year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's Prayer.
>
>For several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from
>the prayer.
>
>Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully
>enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer:
>
>"Lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some E-mail.
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>One particular four-year-old prayed, "And forgive us our trash baskets...
>as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets."
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on the way to church
>service...,
>
>"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
>
>One bright little girl replied..., "Because people are sleeping...!!!"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Six-year-old Angie and her four-year-old brother Joel were sitting together
>in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud.
>
>Finally, his big sister had had enough..... "You're not supposed to talk out
>loud in church."
>
>"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
>
>Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing
>by the door? They're hushers...!!"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3. The boys
>began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
>
>Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral
>lesson.
>
>"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first
>pancake..... I can wait.'"
>
>Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A father was at the beach with his children when the four-year-old son ran up
>to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead
>in the sand.
>
>"Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked.
>
>"He died and went to Heaven," the Dad replied.
>
>The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their
>six-year-old daughter and said...,
>
>"Would you like to say the blessing?"
>
>"I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
>
>"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
>
>The daughter bowed her head and said..., "Lord, why on earth did I invite all
>these people to dinner?"
>
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Title: Re: Keeping Up With Innocence....
Post by mynm156 on Apr 16^th, 2005, 9:30pm

Our Father, Who does art in heaven, Harold is His name.
>Amen."

[smiley=crackup.gif]

Title: Re: Keeping Up With Innocence....
Post by sandie99 on Apr 17^th, 2005, 9:50am

[smiley=laugh.gif]