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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> A man understands the Odds
        
(Message started by: Magman on Mar 26^th, 2005, 2:57pm)

Title: A man understands the Odds
Post by Magman on Mar 26^th, 2005, 2:57pm

FINALLY ...... a man who understands the odds.
DO THE MATH (By an Anonymous but Wise Man)

I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver cut in front of a pickup truck, causing him to have to drive on to the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver because he hung his arm out his window and flipped the woman off.

"Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why:

I drive 48 miles each way to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper.
Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway.
There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles.

That works out to be 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day.

Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers!

In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS.
That's 642.

According to Cosmopolitan, 70% of women describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449.

According to the National Institutes of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide.
That's 98.

And 34% describe men as their biggest problem.
That's 33.

According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons, and this number is increasing.

That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female who has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed.

Flip one off? ....... I think not

Title: Re: A man understands the Odds
Post by jokrs2 on Mar 26^th, 2005, 3:07pm

Easter at my sisters, they are going to burst! [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]
Awesome!

Title: Re: A man understands the Odds
Post by Frank_W on Mar 26^th, 2005, 6:59pm

Oh god... Off to put more armor plating on my Jeep... [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: A man understands the Odds
Post by Biker on Mar 27^th, 2005, 2:13pm

Tell the planet that I am packing a .44 mag in my truck. I dont believe in "road Rage". That is a controllable attitude that population has devloped, and if Road Rage ever confronts me on my motorcycle, then Im gonna see jail time.
Im packin.