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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Only in..........
        
(Message started by: judkins on Mar 24^th, 2005, 6:08am)

Title: Only in..........
Post by judkins on Mar 24^th, 2005, 6:08am

Only in Britain... can a pizza get to your house faster than an
ambulance.

Only in Britain... do supermarkets make sick people walk all the way to
the back of the shop to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Britain... do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries,
and a DIET coke.

Only in Britain... do banks leave both doors open and chain the pens to
the counters.

Only in Britain... do we leave cars worth thousands of pounds on the
drive and lock our junk and cheap lawn mower in the garage.

Only in Britain... do we use answering machines to screen calls and then
have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to
talk to in the first place.

Only in Britain... are there disabled parking places in front of a
skating rink.

NOT TO MENTION...

3 Brits die each year testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

142 Brits were injured in 1999 by not removing all pins from new shirts.

58 Brits are injured each year by using sharp knives instead of
screwdrivers.

31 Brits have died since 1996 by watering their Christmas tree while the
fairy lights were plugged in.

19 Brits have died in the last 3 years believing that Christmas
decorations were chocolate.

British Hospitals reported 4 broken arms last year after cracker pulling
accidents.

101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled out
of the soles of their feet

18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit
cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Brits were admitted to A&E in the last two years after
opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars.

And finally.........

In 2004 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the
Toilet............................

RULE BRITANNIA!

[smiley=confused.gif]

Title: Re: Only in..........
Post by Frank_W on Mar 24^th, 2005, 8:51am

Hrmmm.... It appears that Britain and the United States have more in common than we thought. [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Only in..........
Post by mynm156 on Mar 24^th, 2005, 8:57am

on 03/24/05 at 08:51:11, Frank_W wrote:

Hrmmm.... It appears that Britain and the United States have more in common than we thought. [smiley=laugh.gif]

XACTLY!!!!

Title: Re: Only in..........
Post by jokrs2 on Mar 24^th, 2005, 2:52pm

Ouch >:( Damn toilet bowl lid. I was just thirsty ;;D

Title: Re: Only in..........
Post by AussieBrian on Mar 25^th, 2005, 12:24am

Rule Brittania,
..... Brittania waives the rules.

Title: Re: Only in..........
Post by sandie99 on Mar 26^th, 2005, 10:18am

[smiley=laugh.gif]