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Title: Getting Even... Post by Langa on Mar 2nd, 2005, 11:56am I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of Men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with Their heart. For example, one evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I said "WHAT????!!! What was that?!" She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?" What every boyfriend/husband on the planet dreads to hear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said let’s get a pair for each outfit. We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, Let's go to the cashier". I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled "WHAT???!!!" I then said, "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either. |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by Frank_W on Mar 2nd, 2005, 12:15pm LOL! From another joke: "We really don't mind sleeping on the couch. It's like camping." [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by Langa on Mar 2nd, 2005, 12:54pm on 03/02/05 at 12:15:43, Frank_W wrote:
You have good memory Frank... My brother is constantly sending me these jokes...I have a feeling he's not getting any... :-X Langa |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by sandie99 on Mar 2nd, 2005, 2:10pm [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by Frank_W on Mar 2nd, 2005, 3:40pm on 03/02/05 at 12:54:35, Langa wrote:
Poor guy! :o :-/ |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by jokrs2 on Mar 2nd, 2005, 6:27pm [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Yeah! endorphine release thank you, Joe |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by Biker on Mar 3rd, 2005, 7:49pm Remindes me of my first argurement with my first wife. I took her to Krogers (grocery store) and she went wild shopping for the most expensive foods she could find. She was a city gal, and tired of eating deer and fish I guess--anyway, she had a shopping cart just full of food, and (I was thinking about all the food from the garden and meat from the farm in the freezer---she was kinda crazy anyway) got to the check-out lane and she reached her had out to me in a way that gestured for money. All I had was a paycheck for 140 bucks, and the bill was nearly 300. With a look of discust, she pulled out her credit card (Wich was thousands in the red) and I took that card and broke it in half. Our first argument started there----it lasted 8 more years. |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by Samantha_Smith on Mar 4th, 2005, 3:40pm [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Getting Even... Post by Ronny on Mar 4th, 2005, 7:34pm Woohaa, Nice 1 |
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