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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Men/Women Translations
        
(Message started by: Frank_W on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 2:28pm)

Title: Men/Women Translations
Post by Frank_W on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 2:28pm

Women's English
___________
Yes = No
No = Yes
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure go ahead = I don't want you to.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
How much do you love me? = I did something you're really not going to like.
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on TV.
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he falls asleep.
I'm not yelling! = Yes, I am yelling because I think this is important.
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up.
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such an not a very nice person.

Men's English:
___________
I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
May I have this dance? = I'd eventually like to have sex with you.
Nice dress! = Nice cleavage!
You look tense, let me give you a massage. = I want to fondle you.
What's wrong? = I don't see why your making such a big deal about this.
What's wrong? = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
What's wrong? = I guess sex tonight is out of the question.
I'm bored. = Do you want to have sex?
I love you. = Let's have sex now.
I love you, too. = Okay, I said it... we'd better have sex now!
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = I liked it better before.
Yes, I like the way you cut your hair. = $50 and it doesn't look that much different!
Let's talk. = I am trying to impress you by showing you that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys.
(while shopping) I like that one better. = Pick any freakin'dress and let's go home!
I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together. = I am gay.

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by Langa on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 3:33pm

These are hilarious Frank! [smiley=laugh.gif]
Langa

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by LeLimey on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 4:04pm

Oh Frank I loved it!! What a shining wit you are... or something like that!! [smiley=laugh.gif]
( you know I ~~love~~, ~~like~~, tolerate you really!! [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by BikerBob on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 4:21pm

on 02/23/05 at 16:04:00, LeLimey wrote:

What a shining wit you are... or something like that!!

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Bob

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by Frank_W on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 4:27pm

LMAO!! *raising one eyebrow* [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by LeLimey on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 4:34pm

[smiley=moonwiggle.gif]

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by ghost62 on Feb 23^rd, 2005, 6:49pm

[smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley= [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif]bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley= [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif]bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley= [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif]bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif] [smiley=bow.gif]

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by sandie99 on Feb 24^th, 2005, 1:29am

[smiley=laugh.gif]

But my "yes" means "yes" and my "no" is always "no"... ;;D

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by PittsburghJoe on Feb 24^th, 2005, 4:26am

Frank,

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together.

Joe

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by LeLimey on Feb 24^th, 2005, 4:38am

LMMFAO!!

Joe you are a really funny guy! [smiley=hug.gif]

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by Frank_W on Feb 24^th, 2005, 9:10am

on 02/24/05 at 04:26:18, PittsburghJoe wrote:

Frank,

I don't think that blouse and that skirt go well together.

Joe

What?? What do you mean? The heels and the feather boa bring it all together! I'm crushed... Just crushed.... [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by sassy_lady on Jul 27^th, 2005, 11:40pm

[smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by burnt-toast on Jul 28^th, 2005, 8:32am

Frank, Frank, Frank,

Didn't ya' learn anything from Jimi's post. This is really stirring up the negative forces of our universe (In case you've forgotten - Women have total control over these mystical forces).

You did forget one though.

What did I just say to you? = Going into coma is no excuse for missing the one important thing I've said in the last 4 hours....... [smiley=oops.gif] darn see how it's spreading. [smiley=ohjez.gif]

Anyhow thats not the point,! You shouldn't be tempting these dark forces!

Tom

Title: Re: Men/Women Translations
Post by Frank_W on Jul 28^th, 2005, 9:01am

Jimi is a lot bolder than I am. After nearly 14 years of marriage, I've had most of my boldness threshed out of me. On the other hand, I do subversive shit, like washing all of her whites with a brand new red towel, in hot water... Stuff like that. (And yes, I am going to Hell, thanks) [smiley=laugh.gif]