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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> more blonde joke
        
(Message started by: minnie on Feb 2^nd, 2005, 2:39pm)

Title: more blonde joke
Post by minnie on Feb 2^nd, 2005, 2:39pm

Blonde Jokes.

ENGINE PROBLEMS

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it
died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, "What's the story?" He replies, "Just crap in the
carburetor" She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stopped a blonde for speeding and asked her very
nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you
guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you took away my
license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

EXPOSURE
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right
breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you
aware that I
could cite you for indecent exposure?" She says, "Why officer?"
"Because your breast is hanging out," he says. She looks down and
screams, "OH MY GOODNESS!!!!, I left the baby on the bus again!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I
get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the river then down
the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other side."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind
the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing
lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled,
"PULL OVER!" "NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
said, "We were the first in space!"
The American said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're Going
at night!"

IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She
rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was,
"If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"

FINAL EXAM
The blonde reported for her university final examination that
consisted of yes/no type questions. She takes her seat in the
examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes and
then, in a fit of inspiration, takes out. Her purse, removes a coin
and starts tossing the coin, marking the answers after each toss.
Within half an hour she is all done, whereas the rest of the class is
still sweating it out.
During the last few minutes she is seen desperately throwing the coin,
muttering and sweating.
The moderator, alarmed, approaches her and asks what is going on.
"I finished the exam in half an hour, but now I'm rechecking my answers."

FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs,
and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying
that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HellOOOooo," answered the blond.
"They're watch dogs.

Title: Re: more blonde joke
Post by Langa on Feb 2^nd, 2005, 6:43pm

These are hilarious! I have a good friend who's a waitress and a blond...and she always has her customers cracking up with blonde jokes... [smiley=laugh.gif]

She makes good tips!

Langa