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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Hormone Hostage
        
(Message started by: Redneck on Jan 22^nd, 2005, 6:37pm)

Title: Hormone Hostage
Post by Redneck on Jan 22^nd, 2005, 6:37pm

The Hormone Hostage

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his
own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a
driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or
significant
other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might
need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember:
Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about... My significant other, not happy
with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring other day so he
would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a
good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a
bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead.

Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by kimh on Jan 22^nd, 2005, 6:41pm

so.........what are you saying...really? are you fuckin with me or what? LOL

Hormone OWNER AND DISPENSER ;;D

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by Redneck on Jan 22^nd, 2005, 6:48pm

Damn, out numbered again.

Now I am very afraid :o

Edit: Forgot to toss chocolate ;;D

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by Grandma_Sweet_Boy on Jan 22^nd, 2005, 8:22pm

Congratulations Redneck - you've got it figured out - everything can be forgiven as long as you offer chocolate.

My favourite sweatshirt says "I want it all,but I'll settle for some chocolate"

My personal favourite - dark bittersweet chocolate.

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by LeLimey on Jan 22^nd, 2005, 8:27pm

on 01/22/05 at 20:22:24, Grandma_Sweet_Boy wrote:

My favourite sweatshirt says "I want it all,but I'll settle for some chocolate"

[smiley=laugh.gif] I have one that says "Save the Earth.. its the only planet with Chocolate"

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by sandie99 on Jan 23^rd, 2005, 8:18am

Darn, why nobody invented this list when I still ate chocolate! Oh, well... ;;D

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by AussieBrian on Jan 23^rd, 2005, 7:23pm

I had paying passengers on board so I couldn't pick them up but my heart goes out to the two girls I saw hitchiking just north of Cairns recently.

One was holding a sign which read, "I tell good stories". The other's sign was,
"I have chocolate."

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by Peppermint on Jan 23^rd, 2005, 7:45pm

on 01/22/05 at 18:48:52, Redneck wrote:

Damn, out numbered again.

Now I am very afraid :o

Edit: Forgot to toss chocolate ;;D

My fave is when you say "Toss chocolate and run like hell" ;;D

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by mynm156 on Jan 30^th, 2005, 10:02am

Take heed and share these words they might save a life.

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by BikerBob on Feb 4^th, 2005, 7:27pm

Here's the new hormone attack warning system from the Dept. of Homelife Security...

http://tinyurl.com/4yx2z

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by Biker on Feb 4^th, 2005, 8:15pm

Its right common and accectable in most countries, to send the bloody wife out to the woodshead for a week. Im kinda suprised the subject came up in a headache forum. I think there must be a white anglo/saxton among the group. Even the Cherokee had enough sense to not deal with gals during their "time." Are you STUPID? Hell, males like sleeping beside the heater too. Be nice to the gals, but dont rag them about it. It aint their fault they were born female.

Title: Re: Hormone Hostage
Post by ghost62 on Feb 4^th, 2005, 8:20pm

[smiley=spit.gif]