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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Funnies and Jokes >> Bill Gates and GM
        
(Message started by: Langa on Jan 4^th, 2005, 11:17am)

Title: Bill Gates and GM
Post by Langa on Jan 4^th, 2005, 11:17am

For those of you who have had experience with
computers and their glitches and idiosyncrasies, and
downright illogical workings, you'll appreciate the
following:

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates
reportedly compared the computer industry with the
auto industry and stated "If GM had kept up with the
technology like the computer industry has, we would
all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the
gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors
issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we
would all be driving cars with the following
characteristics:

l. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash
twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road,
you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway
for no reason. You would have to pull over to the side of
the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car,
restart it, and reopen the windows before you could
continue. For some reason you would simply accept
this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left
turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to
restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the
engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car
unless you bought "CarNT," but then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by
the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as
easy to drive- but would run on only five percent of
the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature, and alternator
warning lights would all be replaced by a single "General Protection Fault" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same
sized butt.

9. The airbag system would ask "are you sure" before
deploying.

10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car
would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you
simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key
and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase
a deluxe set of Rand McNally Road maps (now a GM
subsidiary), even though they neither need nor want
them. Attempting to delete this option would
immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by
50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a
target for investigation by the Justice Dept.

12. Every time GM introduced a new car, car buyers
would have to learn to drive all over again because
none of the controls would operate in the same manner
as the old car.

13. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn
the engine off.

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by Ronny on Jan 5^th, 2005, 5:09pm

LOL

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by Chillrmn1 on Jan 6^th, 2005, 8:52pm

That's Good - Did This Actually Happen?

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by Langa on Jan 6^th, 2005, 9:13pm

on 01/06/05 at 20:52:04, Chillrmn1 wrote:

That's Good - Did This Actually Happen?

Yes, It did...
LOL!

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by vig on Jan 6^th, 2005, 10:54pm

I once wrote an email to Bill Gates.
I was upset over something in Microsoft Word.
It seems if you spell check a document that has my last name in it.... well, it offers suggestions....
It seems that Word thinks Vignola should properly be spelled Vaginal....
So I sent an email to Bill asking him if he would please fix it. I got a reply from him saying he would forward the note to his Word team. I got a reply from them also, but they couldn't fix it.
Oh well.
true story

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by LeLimey on Jan 6^th, 2005, 10:59pm

What a bunch of pussies!!! [smiley=laugh.gif]

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by Langa on Jan 7^th, 2005, 4:05am

on 01/06/05 at 22:54:18, vig wrote:

Aww, Poor Baby! ::)

Langa

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by E-Double on Jan 7^th, 2005, 2:42pm

Nothing wrong with Vagina dude ;)

Title: Re: Bill Gates and GM
Post by PittsburghJoe on Jan 16^th, 2005, 11:23pm

on 01/07/05 at 14:42:19, E-Double wrote:

Nothing wrong with Vagina dude ;)

To me, it's like the small town I lived in as a kid:

It was an okay place to live for a while, but I have no desire to go back and see it now.

Joe