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Title: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by millie the episodic on Sep 10th, 2005, 5:41am Hello All, :) I've been gone for awhile,(1 1/2 wks) :-[. I thought that I had slippied into pain free days and I guess I did for awhile, but... :oThey are back and they are on the other side of my head, and they are kicking my ass or I guess I should say MY HEAD :P. I don't have to ask does this happen, or try to find someone that it has happened to because it has and did happen to me. Yes I am a religious fanatic and yes I do believe that this is a trick of the devil, and yes I am tired of this all and yes I do feel alone right now. I know that I am not alone, and I know that I am not the only going through, and I know that things could be worse, and I know that He won't put more on me than I can bare ;;D, but I am tired of keeping a stupid diary that no one seems to care about or understand. It seems that I had just gotten over the last extra long bout when I tripped over into another. :'( And I have to ask myself, will this bout last as long as the last one which was about 5 months. Will I slip into chronic. I know that I am not the only one who is going through, but I am the one going through at this house, and I am soooo sick and tired of it. I felt like I had abandoned you all by not coming on site for those few days, but I was just trying to get caught up on living. I know that we are in this together, and we are going through the same thing, but I am just tired og looking and feeling this way, I wish I could help us all. And now I have to get ready for work, and yes I feel and look like hell :-/ Millie |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by LeLimey on Sep 10th, 2005, 5:57am Oh Millie [smiley=hug.gif] I'm so sorry to hear you sounding so down but I do understand why! It's very hard to have a PF break and then get hit again although if its any consolation I wouldn't call this a separate cycle, its a continuation of the first. I know the classification of chronic is a bit vague in your country as to whether its more than two weeks PF or more than four weeks PF that counts as episodic - different people have different opinions on that one - but either way you have not exceeded either. The good news is you have to be going a year to count as chronic so there is alot of hope for you yet! Did you stop taking meds or are you continuing with them? What are you taking? Are you taking any prevents? Let us know and we can help you further, there are lots of things we can suggest as you already know... and we can help you kick some beast butt!! LOL Have a good day at work, and remember, with all of us behind you its YOU that will win.. not the CH!! lots of love Helen X |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by E-Double on Sep 10th, 2005, 7:22am :-* Take a DEEP BREATHE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The fact that you even mentioned getting ready for work means that you already won the "battle" Good for you! Hope ya had a good day at work ;) E |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by lionsound on Sep 10th, 2005, 8:34am Millie, Just imagine that we are all sitting (well some might be pacing lol)right there with you in your house, your car..... a motley crew at that! :) can you imagine if we all sat with you at you at work? [smiley=laugh.gif] well, we kind of do follow you around, don't we? you are not alone. [smiley=hug.gif] pf's, -lionsound |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by Kim Y. on Sep 10th, 2005, 9:40am Millie [smiley=hug.gif] I am so sorry you are having a ruff time... I know what your feeling though... I have not been pain free but did have just light shadows for a wk or 2 and now it is awful. Remember we are here for you so you are never alone. ok... Take care PFDAN..................Kim |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by sandie99 on Sep 11th, 2005, 11:44am Millie, I'm so sorry you've getting visits from the beast after nice PF time. But relax. You're not a chronic yet! And it could be that you never will be. Don't cross that bridge until you get there, okay? Don't feel sorry if you don't have the time to come up here. We're happy to hear what's going on in your life when you come around and let us know. This is your family, you'll see us when you have the time. :) Best wishes, Sanna |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by phydeaux on Sep 11th, 2005, 3:06pm Millie, I can empathize for DAYS with you. I had 5 months of almost no HA at all, until side effects of the meds caught up with me. Now I'm full swing chronic and back in the saddle, full of pain and hating it. Some day's I'm so damn depressed that I DO thing of suicide. I know it won't help anything, and only make life worse for my family and all that, but it gets SO damn depressing that I don't know what to do! And that's when I talk to my wife, or come here. I havn't posted much, although I've been lurking for almost two years. Sometimes knowing that other people are EXACTLY where I am helps. Sometimes it doesn't. But I have never read through a few sections here and left in the same mood as when I came in. These people are my friends, and my supporters, even if they don't know me at all. And I am here for them, and for you. And, if you're a religious person, and truly think of this as a trick of the devil, then call yourself Job, and git back on! And that's my two cents. Burn 'em up. |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by millie the episodic on Sep 11th, 2005, 8:30pm Hey All ;;D, I made it through 2 ruff days, but I made it. As far as meds that I am taking, they are zomig nasal and 02. I am not taking any preventives right now because I have to go back to my orginal neuro. Its another story why I got a new one in the first place, but I did, and it was a bad experience, (she thought that I was nacroleptic). I weened myself off her drugs, and now I am on my way back to the old neuro. That may be my problem, I don't know. [smiley=huh.gif] I have been gettin 2- 3 a day, with the worst ones at night, and they came back with a vengence. :'( They are on the oppossite side (left) and it seems like the pain is brand new. I ask myself, how could the pain be worse, and here is my thought. This devil knows that my right side is numb to the brain and has call a few friends to a meeting of destruction on the left side. :-/ They are 8 - 9 kips, and I have given these numbers much thought. [smiley=huh.gif]When I am going through, like I will be in about 15 minutes ( i can hear the band warming up, and I can sell their perfume !):-[ :'( >:( :o I would swear that they are a 10, but...I will survive, hey, that sounds like a song. :-* Anyway I must get my gear on and do my dance. Oh yeah, I call myself Job-ette. LOL Millie 8) |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by Salvelinus on Sep 11th, 2005, 8:47pm Hang in there, Job-ette! ;) You sound better. I'm glad for you, though I hate that you're still having to deal with this. Sometimes even a few days make you forget what you have to deal with, and when the clusters return, they seem even worse. Then there's always the unrealistic hope (at least in my case) that they just might never return . . . :( Be strong. I'll say a prayer for you . . . Namaste, --Scott |
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Title: Re: Feeling Kinda Low! Post by millie the episodic on Sep 12th, 2005, 5:59am Hey, I take all prayers!! Thanks so much. :-* I think that if we report all things that are helpful, no matter how mynute, maybe we can help somebody, so here goes. After my little dance last night ( it last about 30 minutes, probably because it happened before I went to sleep) I took a zomig (pill), and a pain pill before I went to sleep, because I know what lerks in my sleep. I made it through the night until about 5:35pm, when I heard them knocking on my head. I'm on 02 with a ice pack right now. My point is that I slept pretty good, who knows, but you have to do something to try and outthink them. Got to get anyway from this screen, will talk back later. ;) Millie |
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