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        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 Cluster Headache Specific Posts >> hiding headaches?
        
(Message started by: clusterkat on Jul 30^th, 2005, 11:51am)

Title: hiding headaches?
Post by clusterkat on Jul 30^th, 2005, 11:51am

hay everybody,
im on a vicious cycle right now,
the pain comes & goes,
but never away,
and i try to hide them.
anyone eles hide your attacks?
my maintanance meds have deminished the frenguency,
so know well in advance when im in for it,
but i get so bloody many of them,
that im self conscious about it.
ive totally isolated myself on these cycle benges.
doesnt make for a very happy bride,
when your overwhelmed by pain.
*sighs sadly*
^kat

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by burnt-toast on Jul 30^th, 2005, 12:27pm

For the most part my attacks are at night so I usually can deal with them on my own. But this is not always possible because daylight and early evening attacks occur.

When my children see me getting hit they simply go to their rooms. Not that I'm nasty to em' or anything because I can't typically say anything during attacks. I just think they can't stand to watch me go through this.

My wife kinda low profiles it around me until she thinks I'm coming back from the nightmare and will then begin to offer things that will help i.e., tea, towels, ice, etc.

Basically we've developed a routine - Best wishes on developing one of your own. It's important.

Tom

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Kim Y. on Jul 30^th, 2005, 12:38pm

I hide mine all the time. I am getting better at it everyday. Most think I am feeling better and I just let them. I am tired of aking you have a HA don't you, and I just say I am ok.

Kips have been in the 4-5 range most days and survivable. I take Verap. at night so I sleep fairly well. Wake and then grab for the coffee and do ok.

I am sorry that you are having such a ruff time. [smiley=hug.gif] Hey when do you get married?

PF vibes and wishes to the bride to be.....Kim

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by jcmquix on Jul 30^th, 2005, 6:09pm

HI Kat, nice too meet you....

I know where you are coming from, I get 90% of my attacks at 1am & 3am, so I get out of bed, grab my ammo (TREX, Ice, Cold Water & Ciggs) and head for the bathroom. This kinda upsets my wife, but she understands that I do not want to be seen or have anyone see me while I am under attack. I basically do the same thing during the day at Work or Home, I just stay away until the BEAST takes a nap.

In the last week I have made my Wife (Sassy_Lady - Jolene) & my Son sit down and read all the post here about "What the BEAST is" & "What we CHer's feel" & "What the Supporter's do" it has done wonders for them to understand what the entire family is dealing with under our roof.

I suggest that your Boyfriend/Husband spend some time here, get to understand what CH is and the people it effects. I do not want to sound Negative, but this Effcects your WHOLE family not just you.

I always thought this was all about me and I had to deal with it alone, I WAS WRONG !!!!

Now I know that there is always someone here, first of all, I am not alone, the lights are always on here 24/7/365.

The people here have givin me & my wife the support and advise on how we can get through this togeather as a family.

Hang around, post some messages and get to know a few people here, you will not regreat it. Its nice to have extended family who really does understand what is going on in your life. Someone here has been there or is there, and may be able to help you or vice-versa.

OK enough from me...Read, Read, & Read more..

PFDAN's to You !!!

Charlie

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Kris_in_SJ on Jul 30^th, 2005, 7:27pm

Hi Kat,

Charlie's right. We all try to hide our headaches when in cycle, but at the same time we need our supporters to understand and be there for us.

When I'm in cycle, CHA's rule my life. Yes, I become isolated, but only in the respect that I plan my daily activities around when I know I'll get hit. (Thus far, I'm pretty consistent at 2 PM and 9 PM. Goodbye social life for 12 weeks! I become a hermit. Thank goodness for self-employment!

Except you can't be a total hermit when you live with people who love you. My husband and daughter were reluctant at first, but began lurking around the board for awhile last cycle at my encouragement. They are now more knowledgeable and supportive than ever.

Rather than hide your HA's, encourage your significant others to learn about them. That goes for co-workers and bosses, as well. The more they learn, the less you'll have to hide.

Many Hugs. Keep Posting.

Kris

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Jasmyn on Jul 31^st, 2005, 2:53am

Hang in there Kat.

True what Tom, Charlie and Kris said.

Nobody with CH can be very sociable during a period. Don't beat yourself up as we all live with enough guilt and frustration not being all we want to be for our loved ones.

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Topical on Jul 31^st, 2005, 7:27am

I can't hide them completely. I managed to lower my moaning to a conversational level instead of screaming. Hiding it completely is very hard to do. I stare down at the ground and will walk off to be alone should I be out in public. (Luckily that happens very rarely.)

Like Kris, I turn into a bit of hermit unfortunately. :(

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Bec on Jul 31^st, 2005, 8:49am

((((((((((((((((( Kat))))))))))))))))))

I am the best at hiding. I am chronic so I have them all the time. I can't always get away when I am getting hit, I can't just get up and walk away from my patients.
I also like to be alone when I am getting hit, But the person you are walking away from, loves you and wants to be there for you (even if there is really nothing they can do to help) I was told that it hurts their feelings that I don't trust them enough to show my pain in front of them. As Tom said you need to develop a routine with them. Talk to your husdand about what you need when you are getting hit- space,massage, ice, heat, water........ what ever it is. Let them do it. I prefer not to be touched most of the time, but there are times that I need someone to push on pressure points for me. And I always like to be held as I am coming down.
So don't run away from him, let him know that you trust and need him even if there is nothing he can do but be there for you.
Hug and Pain Free Wishes
bec

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Kim Y. on Jul 31^st, 2005, 9:44am

Quote:

And I always like to be held as I am coming down.

I like that as well. I will have to remember to tell my husband that is something he could do for me. For the most part he help with Trex or O2 or Both gets me comfortable and then goes away to let me battle but comforting after is really nice. I hate to be alone but also know how hard it is for my husband to see me this way and how helpless he feels so in that sense I welcome him leaving.

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Bec on Jul 31^st, 2005, 10:06am

on 07/31/05 at 09:44:31, Kim Y. wrote:

I hate to be alone but also know how hard it is for my husband to see me this way and how helpless he feels so in that sense I welcome him leaving.

That is why I use to always try to hide it from him, because I hate to see the pain on his face. But he has told me that he would rather know (he seems to know anyway) then for me try and hide it or for me to go and hide when I am getting hit. They will learn when it is all right to be there or to give you space.

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by bnfreeman on Jul 31^st, 2005, 2:05pm

Its hard to hide, but I try. When I know it's coming, I run. Usually to my bedroom. I tell my husband to keep our son busy so he won't know that I am gone. I hate it when he has to see me going through one. I really feel bad for my husband because I can really turn into a b*tch. Hope you have some relief soon.

Brandi

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Kiwiinoz58 on Jul 31^st, 2005, 7:19pm

I have started hiding too , so know exactly what you mean. My relationship is relatively new and although my partner has been wonderful I can't stand to see his frustration anymore. He tends to say " I feel so helpless not being able to do anything" and I just can't cope with his feelings of inadequecy. Soooo I tend to hide as much as possible now.
Hope the cycle passes quickly Kat, warm hugs to you.
Jacqs

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by kimmeesue on Aug 1^st, 2005, 10:57pm

Even when I try to hide them from my husband my dog rats me out. She seems to know and attaches herself to my shoulder and "kisses" my head. He comes in the room and says "yeah, I thought so." When people are in tune with you it's about impossible to hide them. Even my kids who are hundreds of miles away seem to know and often call to see if I'm ok. They "just had a feeling".
So, I don't try so hard to hide them anymore. My husband takes his cue from me as to what I need whether it be left alone or have my back rubbed. BUt I always try to manage an appreciative smile ( probably looks more like a grimace to him) and a thank you when it's over.
I am incredibly lucky to have a super-supporter as well as a caring medical team who know my routine and respect my needs. It allows me to preserve some dignity through each ordeal.

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by brainfreeze on Aug 1^st, 2005, 11:23pm

I've hidden them to the point where the eye was tearing with them streaming down my face but I've kept looking people in the eye stating, I'm okay. It was tough. And there are other times that have hit me when there was no way I could have pulled that off. I understand the embarrassment. :-[ Sorry for the blues too. I'm with you on that. :'( I have found that the people who love you will do anything you need them too. Wishing you a PF wedding....

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by Karla on Aug 2^nd, 2005, 10:59am

My who family knows when I am getting hit. i pace and bang my head alot and cry. My family once it was explained to them by friends hear on ch.com just what I am going through (how it feels physically) and that I cant focus or concentrate. I can't do housework etc. I had to go off work and onto disability. My family gets me my meds, ice packs, holds calls, and lets me be alone until its over. I would highly recomend you communicate what you are going through with your loved ones. It helps them understand you better.

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by clusterkat on Aug 3^rd, 2005, 10:34am

*smiles warmly to the group*
thanx everyone for the support & understanding.
it helps to feel validated,
this group is a blessing.
my fiance` & family are very loveing & patient,
but the anxiety of ch,
during this joyous time,
has been draining.
it means so much to me,
to be the proper southern bride,
to the Man of my dreams.
*april 13th, 2006, savannah georgia*
we are to be married after 2 year engagement.
(((hugs)))
^kat

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by brainfreeze on Aug 3^rd, 2005, 10:39am

I'm jealous Kat, I too am a southern gal and know the dream. I'm wishing you and your new life all the best. The setting in Savannah is awesome!!! You go girl!!!!

Title: Re: hiding headaches?
Post by The_Shadow on Aug 5^th, 2005, 11:11am

I can hide it most of the time, but they still will get to the point that there is no hiding them.

Congrates on the marriage.