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Title: wish I could rant Post by yikes-another-one on Dec 9th, 2005, 7:42pm :) there are days i wish I could rant and rave at my husband. he is too observant for me...(brag) each time I wince and start my little dance with the beast he asks me,"what's wrong?" such a sweetie. Wish I could be a better wifiepoo, and smile or laugh or something cute...(damn, here comes the guilt complex) I am usually so far gone I use sarcasm, or reply sharply with, "what do you thinkis wrong, honey?" i try, to be nice and to weather these things with some sort of dignity, or at least not let it drag me underwater into panic land....but a gal can only do sooo much and then she gotta wail. I try not to go to the place where you beg, "why me?" and I usually succeed... well 7 out of 10 times...isn't that a good percentage? So then why does he grimace, or sigh, like It's all my fault ... it's not like I signed up for this torture... saying to the beast, "Yeah, pencil me in for a level 8 on thurday...just about 6:20, so he will miss the weather report...." Half the time I try to duck out of the room and hide out... but he's the one that tracks me down.... so then why does he put on the "martyr act" and go and pout? It's beyond me. I know, Once upon a time life was differnt...so sue me....better yet, let's do a class action suit and get our lives back.... just ranting and raving... TJ |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by maffumatt on Dec 9th, 2005, 8:14pm on 12/09/05 at 19:42:42, yikes-another-one wrote:
Probably because he knows your in pain and he cant do a damn thing about it. |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by Jonny on Dec 9th, 2005, 8:16pm on 12/09/05 at 19:42:42, yikes-another-one wrote:
You are way to nice, I once threw a huge cooler (Full) threw a wall when asked one to many times "Are you all right" It sucks being us!!, but thats who we are :'( |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by Melissa on Dec 9th, 2005, 8:31pm It's funny, well not really, but I actually get agitated when I'm sitting up in bed rocking and rubbing my head and hubby wakes up and says "Are you OK? Can I get you anything?" I hate when he does that cause I can't even talk to answer him. :-[ He's such a good guy too... Anyway, it seems always about 3 minutes later I'm able to utter out "Honey can you please get me an ice pack?" in broken English. He always gets me one then. *sigh* |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by Racer1_NC on Dec 9th, 2005, 8:40pm Quote:
You are more articulate than I.......all I can manage to say is "ice".....if I am lucky. Bill |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by Melissa on Dec 9th, 2005, 8:45pm on 12/09/05 at 20:40:26, Racer1_NC wrote:
Bill, it takes me 30 seconds to get the whole sentence out, LOL. Don't you know me by now? I am always polite. ;) |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by BlueMeanie on Dec 9th, 2005, 9:16pm TJ, Hits hard to explain without getting the spouse upset. It's best if you tell him when you're not getting hit, that you prefer to be left alone. At least that's what I did. The wife now knows to stay away and wait until it's over. Works out best for the both of us. PFDAN |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by Linda_Howell on Dec 9th, 2005, 9:24pm Quote:
Sounds to me like he really cares about you. Most men are "fixers" and he knows he can't, so he pouts. I agree..... talk to to him when you're not getting hit. Linda |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by minnie on Dec 9th, 2005, 10:25pm TJ I'm sorry your having to go through this both you and your husband.I can only speak for myself as a supporter. I think that asking what's wrong is just a reflex action we ask even though we know.sit him down when your not in pain explain that when your dancing with the beast you need to concetrate and please don't ask whats wrong.What can he do ? get you ice ? oxygen.your meds or yes just leave you alone for a while.supporters aren't mind readers tell him, what you do or do not need from him.I grimace when Billy gets hit not because it's inconvenient for me but because theres not a damn thing I can do to take away the pain.Your husband is probably just feeling helpless and frustrated. I hope what I'm saying is coming out right.I can only imagine your frustration at wanting your life back to normal and pain free.I will pray that you do become painfree pemanantly.No one should have to go through the hell of cluster headaches.No one should have to see someone they love go through it and not be able to help.can you and your husband make it to Davcon or the Milwaulkee convention ? It is a eye opening experience for sufferes and supporters.You will meet people face to face that KNOW EXACTLY what your going through.As painful as it is you will witness people getting hit and then getting back to living.Please try to make one theres nothing in the world like meeting your clusterfamily.sorry if I'm rambling I just so want to help you and your husband make it through this together til your painfree. Hogs to you both Minnie |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by Carl_D on Dec 10th, 2005, 1:03am [smiley=hug.gif] |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by JenniferD on Dec 10th, 2005, 8:27am on 12/09/05 at 21:24:18, Linda_Howell wrote:
Linda is 100% dead-on accurate! Mine does the exact same thing. He even gets mad when I'm having a low level hit or shadows and won't take some heavy duty painkiller. He wants it "fixed" not because its an inconvenience to him but because he doesn't want me to go thru any pain. Talk to him about what you need when you aren't getting hit. He may be like mine and respond with, "ok, BUT you should..." again, trying to fix it. Rant away here TJ- but love on the man who is loving you. Sounds like you have one who adores you. |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by yikes-another-one on Dec 11th, 2005, 10:33am awwww you guys! :'(.... It's one thing to sit here and know you aren't alone in the fight....it's another to get such kind and lovingresponses..that tears startstreaming down your cheeks.....you really get it....and it really helps..... I know, he's a great husband....and I just wish I could be as good a wife....you know? WE try to enjoy the painfree moments....you know spoil each other with too much love and stuff like that....so it just really gets rotten, when I cannot control my tone of voice...or respond with a joke or a smile...I know he suffers, when we suffer...I know it....and I hate it. Thank you all for the great words....they reach inside this bruised heart...and make it just a little easier. Thank you! Thank you! I love the internet!!!!!! ;) |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by Charlie on Dec 11th, 2005, 2:27pm You are too nice! Clusterheads are meant to be feared during a hit. Whatever they say goes without question; even things illegal. They're dangerous. Sorry you have to deal with so much. It sucks every which way it can. http://www.clusterheadaches.com/public_html/yabbimages/smileys/hug.gif Charlie |
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Title: Re: wish I could rant Post by yikes-another-one on Dec 11th, 2005, 4:12pm guess it goes back to my Cast theory If you don't have a visible cast, people forget about your painand suffering, because it is not their pain or suffering. Seriously, my sister-in-law once had to have rotator cup surgery, on her shoulder. Forthe first few weeks everything was well, no one bumped or patted or tapped her on the "bad" shoulder. but eventually,she got to take the cast off, but was still very tender and sore.... my brother, loving and caring husband... would come up to hug her, or tap her for her to pay attention....and always got the sore shoulder by mistake....dyslexic? not, just forgettful so, I guess I should start working on a "removeable" cast...to wear whenever my head hurts. I mean I tried writing "Havinga bad day" on my forehead, but people can'tseem to read backwards....hahahhahahahahaha I'm not asking for the day off, just a little slack was too many words to fit... tj |
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