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Title: Welcome to Walmart Post by Ghost on Dec 2nd, 2005, 1:03pm Subject: Subject: Job Application >> Job application of 75 yr old man at Walmart >> >> This is an actual job application that a 75 year old senior citizen submitted to Wal-Mart in Arkansas. They hired him because he was so funny: >> >> NAME: George Martin >> >> SEX: Not lately, but I am looking for the right woman, (or at least, one who'll cooperate). >> >> DESIRED POSITION: Company President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I was in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place. >> >> DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle. >> >> EDUCATION: Yes. >> >> LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility. >> >> PREVIOUS SALARY: A lot less than I'm worth. >> >> MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes. >> >> REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked. >> >> HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any. >> >> PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m. Monday, Tuesday and Thursday. >> >> DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?: Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment. >> >> MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER?: If I had one, would I be here? >> >> DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 lbs.?: Of what? >> >> DO YOU HAVE A CAR?: I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?" >> >> HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?: I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes, so they tell me. >> >> DO YOU SMOKE?: On the job - no, on my breaks - yes. >> >> WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?: Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb, sexy, blonde, supermodel who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now >> >> DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?: Oh yes, absolutely. >> >> SIGN HERE: Sagittarius > |
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Title: Re: Welcome to Walmart Post by totka2 on Dec 2nd, 2005, 3:07pm [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Welcome to Walmart Post by Jasmyn on Dec 2nd, 2005, 4:07pm [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] [smiley=laugh.gif] Honesty goes a long way, about 75 years 8) |
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Title: Re: Welcome to Walmart Post by Charlie on Dec 2nd, 2005, 10:42pm http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/cheesyrotfm.gif Charlie |
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Title: Re: Welcome to Walmart Post by sandie99 on Dec 3rd, 2005, 5:00am [smiley=laugh.gif] |
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Title: Re: Welcome to Walmart Post by Jimmy B. on Dec 4th, 2005, 9:04am This same guy applied at McDonalds. ;;D I think he needs to broaden his employment horizons. http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/mcdonald.htm I love how these stories make the rounds.... |
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