Clusterheadaches.com Message Board


    
      
        Clusterheadaches.com Message Board
        (http://www.clusterheadaches.com/cgi-bin/yabb/YaBB.cgi)
      

        New Message Board Archives >> 2005 General Board Posts >> Food for thought....
        
(Message started by: Redd715 on Nov 18^th, 2005, 11:34pm)

Title: Food for thought....
Post by Redd715 on Nov 18^th, 2005, 11:34pm

Because I've done some writing in my many years, I plan to begin to delve into this part of me again. I believe that once I begin getting back to who I am at the core of my being, only then can there be a forward momentum in this journey of my life. I've spent far too many days, months and years stagnant in endevors to enrich my soul, convinced for some reason beyond comprehension, that I am defined by my condition (CH), rather than it simply is another of the numerous things that makes me who I am.

Besides these damned head bangers, I love to write. Poetry, prose, short stories. I could hold my own against the best of chefs, creating some quite unusual and decatant dishes.

Passionate about many things, my personal philosophy and spirituality are at the top of this list now. I've spent far too long wallowing in self pity over my un-ending pain and let my journey into seeking a deeper connection to my spiritual path fall by the wayside.

It's taken the passing of my Mother, and the events that have followed in my children's dealings with the loss as well, to pull me out of my self absorbed pity party. For too many days I have never touched my tarot deck. For too long I have focused my fire energy only toward the assistance of my cluster family. Too many moons and high holidays have passed where I've done nothing but sulk in my own anguish. Feeling sorry for myself. Feeling unworthy of love, of acceptance, damaged in some way so profound as to exclude me from being a part of the human race, some creature destined to live in pain and torment and unworthy of the pleasures and libery's of being a mortal human just as anyone else. No more! Life liberty and the persuit of happiness in all forms is not something bestowed upon me, but something I must endevor to create for myself and thus... I intend to. Each and every day from this time forth, I will find the beauty in each day, in the smiles of my children, in the song of the Wren in the pine trees, in the power of the earth and the wind and the fire and the water that gives us both life and death in the extreems of their benevolence and the rage of their furry. Today....my journey takes a renewed dedication to it's conviction. Onward....

Title: Re: Food for thought....
Post by E-Double on Nov 19^th, 2005, 9:13am

Good for you and Thanks for just kicking me in the ass.

I've needed it!

Me :)

Title: Re: Food for thought....
Post by vig on Nov 19^th, 2005, 10:55am

you go girl....
let it all out!