|
||||
|
Title: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 1st, 2005, 7:27pm Wendy the Brit/pubgirl here, and I'm in serious need of help from friendly Americans which I think someone on here may be able to give. I am very sorry to return in this way and very sorry to anyone I offended when I deleted myself and I swear it is only a brief visit but it is the only place on the web where I feel I can ask safely. A very close and much too young friend of mine is dying in the USA - possibly only days or hours left having been flown out there for treatment, and it is a strong possibility I or my husband will have to fly out at short notice to help her husband deal with things after she dies and help him get her body home as neither of them are from the USA and her family are not British or USA nationals and cannot get visas to get there to either say goodbye or help him. I am sure the hospital will tell him what he has to do, but he isn't even coherent now and is losing it totally so I would really like to know what is involved either because I may be there doing it or so I can help him on the 'phone. I have done a websearch but am getting nowhere. It is an awful thing to ask but does anyone know a good website with info about repatriating bodies to the Uk from the USA I can read. Sorry to ask this but as you can see, it is a bad situation. Wendy Added: I'm conscious that you may think this is some kind of sick joke. I promise it isn't, the hospital is in Pittsburgh and is called Shadyside |
||||
|
Title: s anRe: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Ree on Nov 1st, 2005, 7:46pm Hi Wendy... In most cases people chose to creamate their loved one's remains. It is so expensive to move a body so many miles abroad... I am so sorry for your friend's anguish. This cannot be easy... God bless and God speed. Ree |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Jonny on Nov 1st, 2005, 7:46pm God forbid she dies, she will be sent back to England on the same plane as here husband. Wendy, you are always welcome here....Always!! |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 1st, 2005, 7:54pm Thanks both of you, it is much appreciated There is no question of if, only when now as it is close. I am pretty sure they will want to bring the body back as her family haven't and can't see her because they are Serbian and can't get visas to go to the USA. I'm not sure what Serbian Orthodox religion thinks of cremation also. I just feel I need to know what has to be done paperwork/procedures etc in case I or my hubby are on the next plane out there to help the husband as he is on his own and in a real state. W |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Cathi04 on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:03pm Wendy, I am so sorry! it is wonderful that they have your help...now, if we can only find out what you need. Have you tried your Ambassador's ofc? I know a friend of ours, years ago, travelled to Spain with another friend, the friend dies suddenly, and our friend,after much red tape, ended up escorting the body home. I'll see if I can find anything at all, meantime, I'm wishing you well, and offering a shoulder should you need one. Fondly, Cathi :-/ |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Kris_in_SJ on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:10pm Poor Wendy, I don't remember anything about what you might have done to offend anyone here, so I'm just glad to hear/read you. I wish I could help you more. I know how to get a body back to the States when that person dies in another country - private charter and lots of money. I vote with Cathi. Try your embassy first. After all, our countries are allies and should be able to help each other with such things. Regardless, the cost will probably be precious. Wish I had better news. Hugs. Please PM if I can help in any other way. Kris |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by zanychef on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:14pm sorry you have such a hard time :'( cant help as i never had any experience with that :-/ |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Annette_Emond on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:16pm www.memorialcentre.co.uk/repatriation.html hope this helps. I did a search on "shipping human remains". Sorry you have to be looking. Annette |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:19pm So far all I have found is: "Register the death according to the local regulations in the country in which it took place, and get a local death certificate. Register the death with the British Consul, so that a record of the death will be kept in England. You will be able to get a copy of the death certificate from the consulate later If the death abroad occurred in particular circumstances or the information about the death abroad is incomplete, this must be reported to a coroner in the same way as if the death occurred in England or Wales." This cannot possibly be all there is to it. Have found lots of Funeral Directors websites which just tell you how much it will cost and what pretty caskets they have, not how to do it and are just basically adverts for their services. |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:22pm Thanks Annette, I found that one too and have bookmarked it W |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Karla on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:22pm My grandfather died while vacationing in Texas. He was in the hospital for a long while. As soon as he was stable he was flown in a small sensna with the piolit, and my grandmother also on the plane. It cost her everything to get his body home. I would strongly consider cremation if it is religisly ok. |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Charlie on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:48pm Sorry to hear this Wendy. You offended someone? Not me. Look into what Minsitry deals with it is all I can think of. If you play dumb, it might help. Lots of luck and for God's sake, don't stay away. I want you back like yesterday. Charlie http://www.subscribe.smileygenerator.us/all/albums/0riginals/coffee1.gif?SSImageQuality=Full |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 1st, 2005, 8:56pm Thanks again everyone for the kind messages. I think where I've got to is: Death certificate from hospital Register Death with local Coroner or whatever your equivalant is in Pittsburgh Register death with nearest British Consul to Pittsburgh Pay a Funeral Director a large amount of money to do the rest. My only worry now is that questions will be asked about why she went to the USA only four weeks ago when she was so seriously ill - the simple answer is that the NHS told her there was nothing they could do for her 2 years ago but the hospital in the USA gave her hope and treatment for those 2 years when there was neither given here. The cynics will say they took her money but I believe they bought her hope and time- both of which were priceless. If anyone can add anything useful, including any relevant local knowledge of Pittsburgh coroners etc, I would appreciate it Thanks again everyone Wendy |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Opus on Nov 1st, 2005, 9:31pm Wendy, It is good to see you :) Just adding that the body will have to be embalmed, there maybe a special lightweight or sealed coffin required. There will probably be a form needed from some department of health saying the body was properly prepared for the flight, and possibly a special type of inspection for security. I tried many searches on Google and came up with nothing. It may be a lot cheaper to send it by ship, but it will take a lot longer to arrive. Opus/Paul |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by TxBasslady on Nov 1st, 2005, 10:33pm Most all hospitals here have a employee in the Social Services area. These folks help with Living Wills, Power of Attorney's, etc. May I suggest that you call the hospital and speak to this person in Social Services. If he/she doesn't have the answers, I bet they can get them. They have an abundance of information available to them. It may be called Patient Services...but it is normally a person that can make all types of arrangements and assist in others. Most of them are Notary Publics, and have access to all types of legal documents. Just a suggestion.... Jean |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Jasmyn on Nov 2nd, 2005, 12:52am Wendy, sorry I can't be of any help but please after this is over come back to the site. |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 2nd, 2005, 1:33am The information is really helpful, thank you all so much for taking the time. Wendy |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by marty on Nov 2nd, 2005, 4:04am Hi Wendy I am not sure as to what nationals they are but usually (as far as my experience goes with North European countries), the Embassy of the country in which they are citizens will and can arrange transportation in case of emergency / death. They may charge you the cost later but payment arrangements can be made. Good to see you back - stay :) Marty |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 2nd, 2005, 4:22am Thanks Marty, bless you. She is Serbian by birth but has lived here for many years and has British citizenship as hubby is a Brit. The problem with the Nationality I hope will only be the religious considerations (if any) of what an ancient and very Orthodox religion says about what you can and can't do with a body, and the truly awful situation that her family, who live in the UK but only came over relatively recently and don't have full citizenship cannot get to the USA to be with her and him. I cannot imagine what they must be going through. They are trying to rush through an urgent visa application for her mother to try and get her out there in time but there seems no chance for the other members of the family. I don't fully understand why they can't come to your country for a brief visit as I know I or my husband just buy a flight and head over there, possibly with a slight "glossing over" of the reason (probably will just say we are visiting a friend as in any case we would not be staying longer than a few days) just to save hassle but they can't do this. I am guessing that there might be some kind of risk perceived that they won't leave, or maybe they are in some kind of limbo at the moment as they are applying for British citizenship. Not sure really but it is incredibly sad. |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by LeLimey on Nov 2nd, 2005, 4:28am Hi Wendy! You don't know how pleased I am to see you back here! I've found these for you on the TSA website Transporting the deceased http://www.tsa.gov/public/display?content=0900051980073a84 I'd recommend getting in touch with the airlines as they must deal with this more than anyone. I'm so sorry to hear this, this is the couple that just got married a couple of months back isn't it? Damn I hoped they would have longer. If there is anything I can do to help just say okay? lots of love Helen |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:07am Bless you Helen, that is useful info and have bookmarked that too. They have been legally married for several years but the first wedding was actually in the Elvis Chapel in Vegas as it was a second marriage for both of them after unhappy first ones, so the wedding in August was the "official" Serbian religious blessing of the marriage. Never dreamt that things could happen so fast after that though, as I'm sure they didn't. W |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by maffumatt on Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:21am Wendy, since you found your way back, stick around.... |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Jeepgun on Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:49am Wendy, I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this... I agree with Helen and Jean. Between the airlines and patient services, I'm sure everything can be worked out. I also agree with everyone else: Please stay. :) Best wishes to you and PFDAN's, -Frank |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by KMT on Nov 2nd, 2005, 7:51am Welcome back Wendy.....Please stay... Hope you are able to figure a way to help your friend out with this sad situation. Kim |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by ghost62 on Nov 2nd, 2005, 10:26am Wendy thanks for coming back we are here for ya and I respect your opinions as I do everyones, we may not always agree but how boring would that be? Stick around ok. God bless you and your friend and hope it works out ok. There isnt much I can do but you do have my heartfelt sorrow, and love. God Bless again Mike |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by floridian on Nov 2nd, 2005, 12:42pm on 11/02/05 at 04:22:35, theoldboiler wrote:
Our INS (Immigration & Naturalisation Service) is the least friendly government agency there is. People that are here legally and apply for a new visa, 'green card' or citizenship cannot leave the country until the matter is settled - which can take months. A parent is dying in another country? We're sorry, but if you leave the U.S. before resolution, you can't come back in! on 11/02/05 at 04:22:35, theoldboiler wrote:
Don't look for rational reasons behind their policies. Then, when your done with this sad affair and can look back without crying too much, see the Tom Hanks movie 'Terminal' about the guy trapped in an airport for months because of a coup detat in his homeland while he was on the airplane to the US. Totally ficticious, but completely accurate in exposing the twisted mindset of our bureaucracy. Side note: Eastern Orthodox Christianity prohibits cremation. Went through that issue when my brother died. |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 2nd, 2005, 1:12pm Thanks again everyone. We have had the call that she is now in the final stages and thank goodness the husband (who is a very old friend of both of ours since our teens) is accepting help. My husband is now preparing to head out to Pittsburgh. Our friend feels more comfortable with a man to lean on during the "practical" phase and I will take over when they return for the "talking" phase, however long that takes. This makes sense as my hubby will cope better than me with the practicalities like flying, driving, officials etc than I would as he is a seasoned business traveller and is totally unflappable and dependable. It feels right to do it this way and I am guiltily relieved as I know I would handle it but am glad I don't have to. I will still be here online in the UK so if there is any more useful advice it will still be greatly appreciated as I can pass it on to him out there. Wendy |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Jeepgun on Nov 2nd, 2005, 1:22pm Oh man... Don't even get me started on what we went through with the INS, trying to get Mari's Green Card. But illegals can waltz into our country and get driver's licenses, health care, housing, and everything else. Hrmph... I'm going to stop before I go on a darkly profane rant. >:( |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by LeLimey on Nov 2nd, 2005, 1:30pm I'm glad they have friends like you and the big gitty one Wendy, that's what makes life worth living. You know where I am if you need anything (Did I mention my cupboard full of vino collapso?!) lots of love Helen |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by nani on Nov 2nd, 2005, 3:21pm Wow, Wendy, what a terrible tragedy this is. :'( Thank goodness they have friends like you. There will have to be a local mortuarty in charge when the time comes, they probably can do most of the legwork for the arrangements. Bless you and your husband. I've got prayers going out for all of you. Good to see you back. :) hugs, nani |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by unsolved1 on Nov 2nd, 2005, 3:23pm Wendy, sorry I can't be of much help, but it's good to see you back. Take Care UNsolved |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Charlie on Nov 2nd, 2005, 9:35pm [quote][Our INS (Immigration & Naturalisation Service) is the least friendly government agency there is./quote] You got that right. Buncha paranoid little pricks running their own little fiefdom. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/small shotgun.gif http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/napoleon.gif Customs is just as bad. They broke open Svenn's luggage last year. http://www.netsync.net/users/charlies/gifs/beatdown.gif Charlie |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 2nd, 2005, 9:41pm At least we Brits don't need Visas if we are just visiting. I checked your Immigration website and the list of which countries do and don't is interesting! Latest is that hubby flies out tomorrow, but it is now to Greensborough NC, not Pittsburgh and thanks to all the help I got here and the online USA Yellow Pages (thank the Lord for that!) he is armed with the names and telephone numbers of the NC Coroner and the British Consul for the area, as well as United Carriers Info about shipping bodies to the UK from the USA. Thanks again everyone for all the help, it has made a huge difference already Wendy |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by thebbz on Nov 2nd, 2005, 9:54pm High Wendy! I didn't see, the Red Cross might have some stroke for ya, sorry for your peoples. You might want to stick around as some have decided you need to be here.,and I agree. Someone with your compassion will be a rock for those in pain. All the best for ya. And in most states the coroner issues the death cert. jb |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by theoldboiler on Nov 2nd, 2005, 9:56pm jb :-* |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by pubgirl on Nov 3rd, 2005, 3:44am For the sake of completeness and to again give my thanks for all your advice and messages. My friend died this morning and the hospital are being wonderful and helping her husband through everything he needs to do to repatriate her body. She may be on her way home to us and her family as soon as this weekend so she can be buried in Brighton, the place she loved. Now I have to find the right words to tell my son, her Godson who is 6 and loved her too and has never lost anyone before. God Speed Lidija |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by ghost62 on Nov 3rd, 2005, 3:48am :'( |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by LeLimey on Nov 3rd, 2005, 4:32am Oh Wendy.. I'm so sorry hon. I'm glad for Lidija that she is spared any more suffering and also for her husband because it must have tormented him seeing her in that long drawn out agony but what a tragic end to a young life. I know you and I know you will find the right words for telling your son. You know him better than anyone and you will find the right way. Take care of you, I hope they all get home safely lots of love Helen XXX |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by Svenn on Nov 3rd, 2005, 5:05am :'( :'( :'( |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by zanychef on Nov 3rd, 2005, 5:17am :'( [smiley=hug.gif] |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by AussieBrian on Nov 3rd, 2005, 5:19am Sincere commiserations Wen, from both of us, but even the worst of storms throws good firewood onto the beach. At least we got to say g'day to you. Kindest regards always, Brian and Denny |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by pattik on Nov 3rd, 2005, 8:23pm on 11/01/05 at 19:27:53, theoldboiler wrote:
So Wendy, catch us up on how all this is going. I hope you have found the answers you were looking for. Patti |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by pubgirl on Nov 3rd, 2005, 8:27pm Patti I have to say that it seems as if everyone in the USA has been utterly wonderful. My friend died this morning and it seems she will be on a plane home on Saturday or Sunday. Incredible and amazingly fast. Her husband needs to be with family and friends and the sooner we can get them both back here the better, but none of us could have hoped it would be this fast. Wendy |
||||
|
Title: Re: Sorry,pubgirl begging for help Post by KMT on Nov 3rd, 2005, 8:33pm [smiley=hug.gif] With deepest sympathy |
||||
|
Clusterheadaches.com Message Board » Powered by YaBB 1 Gold - SP 1.3.1! YaBB © 2000-2003. All Rights Reserved. |